Gossip Girl is the newest CW teen soap, and so far it feels like a cross between The OC and Cruel Intentions. So basically we have pretty, rich teens drinking, having sex, doing drugs, getting in fights, and complaining about how hard their sheltered lives are. As for the lesbianism, stepsibling incest, and parental bigotry, give it time, give it time. It's only the first episode.
Being beautiful is so hard.
The pilot starts with our beautiful, blonde main character, Serena van der Woodsen, taking the train into NYC while staring sadly out the window. As she ponders whether to ask daddy to buy her a Hermes scarf or Chanel bag next, a snotty-voiced narrator informs us that she has the biggest news ever - "It girl" Serena VDW has been spotted at Grand Central after disappearing for "boarding school" a year ago. The emphasis on "boarding school" makes it clear the narrator thinks that's a load of crap. The narrator is Gossip Girl, who's voiced by the always-fabulous Kristin Bell, by the way. If you don't know who she is, Netflix Veronica Mars. Right. Now.
Also at the train station is Rufus Humphrey, who greets his two children, Dan and Jenny. Dan is a dead ringer for Justin Chambers (Dr. Alex Karev on Grey's Anatomy), and his younger sister Jenny is a cute but gawky blonde. He asks them how their weekend was, and how their mother is doing. The kids try to dodge the question with a quick "fine" and Rufus asks whether they mean "fine" like maybe he should have never left Manhattan fine, or "fine" like taking time out from his marriage was the best idea he ever had fine. Dan and Jenny don't answer, and who can blame them. Asking your kids if their mom is still the crazy bitch she was when you walked out on her is never comfortable. The Humphreys start heading out, and just then the crowds part and Dan sees Serena still wearing her Hermes-Chanel hangdog expression. Gossip Girl gleefully tells us that Dan can't believe the love of his life has finally returned - if only she knew who he was.
Around town, everyone's cell phones are blowing up as they receive texts saying Serena is back in town. Sexy brunette Blair Waldorf receives hers as the narrator gossips that Blair and Serena are supposed to be best friends, but lots of people think Blair's boyfriend, Nate Archibald, may have a thing for Serena. Unless Nate can smooth-talk his way into a threesome, this may be a big problem.
A big party is taking place at Blair's house, for reasons unknown. Any excuse for rich people to gather and talk shit about each other's plastic surgery and latest lovers, I guess. Blair's mother Eleanor is chatting with a friend, and stops Blair as she walks by to scold that if Blair is going to wear one of her designs, she should at least tell Eleanor so the dress can be properly fitted. Blair looks fantastic, so this comment is not only demeaning but also untrue. Blair tries to hide her hurt as she thanks her mother and says she'll keep that in mind. As Blair leaves, Eleanor tells her friend that Blair is her best advertisement. Glad your daughter has given you something other than stretch marks.
Also in the asshole parent department is Nate's dad, who evidently goes by "Captain". Nate is standing around talking to Cappy McDouche and his cronies, and Cappy says that Nate will be going to Dartmouth, Cappy's alma matter. Nate says he's actually interested in schools like USC and UCLA, but Cappy rudely ignores this and insists on Dartmouth. Quickly establishing himself as a pushover, Nate hastily agrees that Dartmouth is his first choice. Blair shows up and rescues her boyfriend of the potentially wandering eye. For the record, Nate is decently attractive, but a little effeminate with some whacked-out eyebrows.
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Comments (11)
I never read Gossip Girl
But I def. enjoyed the first show and will be watching more of it!
1 of 11 | Posted by nyonma | Posted on September 24, 2007 6:50 AM
I like your writing but I just got to page 8 and am kind of dreading the fact I still have 4 pgs to go. I think it would be a lot better if you edited it down more next time, you go into a lot of play-by-play detail with "then she said...then he did..." But I really like your snarkiness! More of that and less of the specific descriptions of who said what. :)
2 of 11 | Posted by msu11y28 | Posted on September 24, 2007 8:09 AM
I liked your rep (the screen caps/comments were all really funny), but I agree with msu11y28 - it was a little long for my liking. Don't be afraid to shorten it (a lot).
I look forward to your future recaps!
3 of 11 | Posted by Mrs.Meow | Posted on September 24, 2007 11:06 AM
Great recap. I'm embarrassed to say I love this show so far! I kind of like that the recap is long, gives me something to do at work :P also if I miss an episode I'll know where to look to get caught up on the details
4 of 11 | Posted by tvkitty | Posted on September 24, 2007 11:18 AM
I have to add though, I can't believe you are on team Blair. YUCK! Serena made mistakes in the past but she is trying to change... Nate is gross though, I have to agree with you on the mini crush on Dan.
5 of 11 | Posted by tvkitty | Posted on September 24, 2007 12:47 PM
I was a big fan of The O.C. and even went through all the episodes which was that miserable drek of seasons 3 & 4. This Gossip Girl seems to prove that ol'Schwartzy is a one trick pony in character development. I the brooding loner, the brunette that looks like a poor man's (or in this case rich man's ) rachel bielson. The smarmy emo kid and his hipster dad. all that was missing was some bush eyebrows.
The narrator has to go. It doesn't work and freaks me out after my late night bingers.
6 of 11 | Posted by mattypopo | Posted on September 24, 2007 12:50 PM
Two things:
Serena's younger brother looks like Aaron Carter, the tween years (hell, he looks like Aaron Carter the now years)
And why the nasty remarks while Serena ate the yogurt, you ask? Because according to Plastics (Upper East Side edition), only obese people eat anything creamy. Or eat, period. It's vodka or nothing, baby.
7 of 11 | Posted by isayseriously | Posted on September 24, 2007 1:52 PM
I LOVE this show so far. I thought the recap was great. Long? Yes, but sometimes I miss the show and like long with all the details and sometimes just have time to read snarky comments.. My vote is for the long detail full recap for what it's worth.
mattypopo, I agree the characters are similar to the OC, but they are also similar to pretty much all other teen shows/movies.
I completely agree with isayseriously about how the brother looks like Aaron Carter.
8 of 11 | Posted by rt12345 | Posted on September 25, 2007 9:10 AM
You know why I loved this show? Cause so much happened in the very first episode. Unlike shows like Prison Break (he's STILL in prison after 3 long years, ugh! break out already) there was movement and action, and people got together, it was great! Can't wait for more.
9 of 11 | Posted by gnomecorp | Posted on September 25, 2007 2:29 PM
Hey guys!
Haha, I know this recap ran a little long (although I didn't realize quite how long until I entered it in the system, lol). I just wanted people who missed the first episode to know what happened and be able to join us in the mockery this week. The recaps will be shorter in the future.
And yes, I am on Team Blair -- for now. Serena slept with her best friend's boyfriend and then skipped town without a courtesy goodbye. Blair may be bitchy but Serena deserves every bit of it. But we'll see how far Blair carries out her revenge before I completely swear my allegiance. :)
10 of 11 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on September 26, 2007 11:27 AM
I'm a bad girl locked inside a good girl's shell, so I'm involuntarily on Team Blair, too (good girls make for boring TV!).
I like long recaps, because if I miss the show, I wanna know who said what to whom. Maybe add a shorter version for people with low attention spans?
These are the ugliest "pretty" people I've seen cast on a teen show. Blair is the only girl that's actually attractive. And I'm officially on Team Dan. Loner guys with a witty tongue? Sign me up.
11 of 11 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on September 26, 2007 7:49 PM