This week Austin is singing the Beach Boys' classic "Fun, Fun, Fun." The best part of this whole performance is the girl who SCREEAAAMS Austin's name through this whole thing. She must have been seated too close to a microphone or something because I could hear her SO clearly. And seriously, she's screaming like she's being murdered and needs AUUUUUUUSTIIIIIIN to come in to the audience and save her. It's ridiculous.
Anyways, back to Austin. The number is upbeat, which is what Austin does best, and he performs the shit out of the song. There's lots of dancing and twirling and ass-shaking by the backup dancing girls who aren't wearing that much clothing, while Austin feigns interest. Would I call this number funny? Um, no. And I bet Max could do it funny, like he did with his duet number with Ashley two weeks ago.
Also, is anyone as freaked out as I am at how skinny Kathleen got in like 3 weeks? Eating disorder? No carbs? How L.A.! Hester Prynne, you've changed
After the performance, OF COURSE the first thing Ryan Seacrest comments on is Austin's hairless chest, which is visible thanks to a lack of buttoning. As our attention goes over to the panel, Cat Deeley asks if David Ian found Austin's performance fun. David Ian replies he had fun looking at the girls. Gross, old man. Jim Jacobs will echo this sentiment in a moment, and considering these men are the PRODUCER and WRITER of the show these girls are basically auditioning for right now, I think it's really disgusting they think it's acceptable outright ogle them like this on TV. They're definitely crossing a line.
Anyways, again, back to Austin, David Ian and Jim Jacobs still find Austin unconvincing as a Danny. David still wants to see more charm, humor and a "naughty" boy quality from Austin before he'll be convinced. Jim thought the "fun" seemed forced.
Kathleen Marshall on the other hand, completely disagrees, saying she believed it all the way. She thought he was loose and goofy and generally terrific. Of course you do, Kathleen, he's a typical Kathleen Marshal flashy, tight chorus boy. She thinks he's a great musical theater performer and brought great attack to that number. There's been lots of talk going around about them offering Max Doody, but do you think Kathleen will offer something to Austin too? Kathleen Marshall hearts Austin Miller.
Up next, will Derek crack under pressure? This past week, Derek's challenge was to improve his vocal performance. We see him at a voice lesson with a different vocal coach that we've seen before. This one teaches Derek to relax to open up his voice. The vocal coach also recommends swimming and yoga improve his breathing. The coach wants him to relax, but worries that the pressure will make him tense. Well I'm sure seeing this video right before performing isn't making Derek nervous at all!
This week Derek is singing "Baby, You're All That I Need" with Laura as the female onstage with him to gaze into his eyes adoringly. I'm sorry, are we watching a Celine Dion music video? That's really the vibe I'm getting from this. Oooh and he totally just cracked a little! Not as bad as last time, but it was still there. Sounds like we've got a new Choker on our hands.
CHO-KER! CHO-KER!
Kathleen Marshall is kind as she says that aside from one little wobble he was much better this week. Yeah, better but still not great. Austin, for all his fey-ness, turned in a much stronger performance. Kathleen says she wants the wilder, more "mannish" side of Derek next week. Jim Jacobs thinks it may not have been a crack, and Derek could be playing with the Buddy Holly "hiccup" quality in his voice or some shit like that. Shut up, Jim. David Ian steps up as the harsh British judge and calls it what it was: a crack. Just like he did two weeks ago. And now it's a worry they have about casting Derek in a Broadway show. Burn. Sucks to be Derek. I think he needs to face it: this show is just out of his vocal range. Lovely baritone, but he can't sing that high.
As we come back from commercial there is lame host banter. Max is up next and in the preview video, David Ian says Max needs to work on his macho physicality. They've seen him as a funny guy and now they need to see "the leader of the pack," so Max goes to the boxing ring to work out. He says it's helping his bravado and confidence.
« Not Really Cool As Ice | Main | This Just In: Rob Is Not Jesus »
Comments (11)
Yea! I've been waiting for the recap to this show! Fab job, Krank! This show is so cheesy, yet I can't stop watching it...the recaps make it all the better!
Austin still creeps me out for some reason. I'm rooting for Max. And didn't it look like "the boys" had taken a little dip in some Crisco before their Greased Lightning routine. Ick!
1 of 11 | Posted by KikiC
|
Posted on March 8, 2007 3:45 PM
Kranky, great review! I've been reading recaps/reviews on ew.com for a while and have been disappointed with many reviewers. Then tonight someone told me about this website and your review was the first I read. I'm hooked. Thanks for the entertainment!!!!!
2 of 11 | Posted by yc
|
Posted on March 8, 2007 11:15 PM
After watching an "all Danny" episode, I had to quickly turn on some hockey to get the testosterone going again. Whew, that was close!
Bottom line, Austin is too pretty and fem to be believable as a hood. Derek, the early favorite, appears to have the look but not the chops. Chad would be a serviceable second choice, but this thing belongs to Max. The fact he's a little skinny and awkward works. We all forget because the part is usually played by 30 y/o men, but Danny is actually supposed to be in HIGH SCHOOL! He can sing, dance and can convey drama and comedy in his performances. I don't recall anyone saying anything bad about his acting, so I'll assume he's got that covered too. Plus he's the only Danny to bag himself one of those lovely Sandies, so he gets extra credit for that too.
3 of 11 | Posted by JasonR
|
Posted on March 9, 2007 6:50 AM
This Show is still on?
I believe that the Broadway show will flop. Non of these people should go on to New York. I stopped watching after the 2nd show, it just wasn't what I was hoping for.
4 of 11 | Posted by WhoMe?
|
Posted on March 9, 2007 6:56 AM
WhoMe, putting aside any discussion of whether this show will be any good or not, there is no way it will flop. Tourists and families will keep this show running for years, particularly with all the promotion the show is providing. When tourists come in to the City and lay out the kind of money it takes to see a Broadway show, they tend to go for the familiar where they know exactly what they're going to get as opposed to something a little edgier like "Spring Awakening" (which was amazing BTW).
Krank, do have access to any news on what kind of advance sales the show has been bringing in?
5 of 11 | Posted by JasonR
|
Posted on March 9, 2007 7:39 AM
you make me laugh, krank, you make me laugh.
6 of 11 | Posted by DGlaze
|
Posted on March 9, 2007 8:17 AM
Watching Austin Miller trying to be fun/funny was like watching Stone Phillips try to be fun or funny. Or it's like that scene from the first "Austin Powers" where Dr. Evil is like, "I'm with it! I'm hip!" and then does the Macarena. Like Jim Jacobs said, it was just too forced. (Hmm, Austin Miller/Austin Powers...free association perhaps?)
It came out especially when Austin said something like "You can see it in my eyes" or "Look into my eyes" and then someone (David Ian, I think) said you have to look *behind* the eyes. Austin's just not goofy enough to be Danny.
7 of 11 | Posted by pabulum28
|
Posted on March 9, 2007 9:49 AM
The name of the song Derek sang (er, cracked) is actually "Heaven" by Bryan Adams.
Max all the way. He doesn't have to be too over-the-top macho to be attractive to women, because that goofy thing works on us too. He has enough confidence to pull off the role, definitely. In other news, Austin scares me.
8 of 11 | Posted by Lisa
|
Posted on March 9, 2007 10:21 AM
Great recap!! But I was hoping you would make fun of Cat's crazy dress and the fact that Cat and Hester are apparently BFFL (did you notice how much Cat was crying?!?) Go Austin!!
9 of 11 | Posted by abbeylane
|
Posted on March 10, 2007 4:06 AM
That girl screaming for Austin during his performance was by far the most entertaining part of the show. Wow, she *really* needs her gaydar fixed.
I'll go so far as to say I hope Max wins, although I really didn't buy him as the tough guy he was trying to play. I laughed a few times during his performance because he reminded me of a little boy wearing his dad's clothes trying to act tough.
10 of 11 | Posted by 626
|
Posted on March 10, 2007 10:42 AM
I don't know if you meant it as a joke, but the male host is not Ryan Seacrest. It's Billy Bush, cousin of President George Bush and the current host of Access Hollywood. I don't think he's that recognizable, but he doesn't look like Ryan Seacrest either.
http://www.colby.edu/colby.mag/issues/win04/bush/
11 of 11 | Posted by blue | Posted on March 30, 2007 6:19 PM