This week on Grease: We lose our first two finalists. Take a wild guess who. But the voting process has a twist and people are UP IN ARMS about it. I, for one, am not so incensed because I am all in favor of Philosopher Kings ruling my reality shows. They do know better! It's their job, people.
Plus this week, the special guest judge is Andrew Lloyd Webber, whom the commercials kept touting as the Master of the Modern Musical. I wish I were watching this with Stephen Sondheim to hear what he'd have to say about that particular untruth. (Also because that would be the COOLEST EVER.)
We open on Billy "Ryan Seacrest" Bush telling us how one Danny and one Sandy are going home tonight. "It's gonna be brutal." He promises. LIE. Denise "Cat Deely" Van Outen goes on to say "Two dreams are about to be ripped at the seams." Now I'm picturing those dreams as cuddly velveteen teddy bears, their lives taken from them too soon. Too soon, dammit!
Ryan Seacrest says it's up to us. Um, actually, it's up to us to choose the bottom two Danny's and Sandy's. That bottom four will then have a sing-off (To the same "Tears on My Pillow" song from the sing-off at Grease Academy. Again, I ask, where is the creativity? Where is the imagination?), and the judges will determine two go home. So instead of being in the strict American Idol style, which I think most people were expecting, the voting works more like So You Think You Can Dance. I'm assuming this means that eventually the lowest-voted contestant will be kicked off, once they're whittled down to an appropriate 6 or so (again, àla SYTYCD.)
The opening number this week is "Summer Lovin'." And, yay, the girls are in poodle skirts with no sign of the horrible pants! Wait, is this all they rehearsed for the past 2 weeks? The dancing's not even remotely fun. Entertain me! Also, pinkie down, Austin. He pierced the toast! (I'll give you a quarter if you can name the reference. J/k, not really, I need those for laundry.) The last note of the song is particularly unpleasant to the ears as everyone does a different riff.
Ryan Seacrest introduces the judges. Same as usual, plus Andrew Lloyd Webber. He's awkward and "just British" if you know what I mean. "Kinda gay" if you don't. And I know, I know, he was married to the original Christine from Phantom, which is why I say he's not gay, "just British."
And, just as it's inevitable that one of the girls would sing "I Don't Know How to Love Him" on the Andrew-Lloyd-Webber-themed night, so it is inevitable that I must bash him a little. I mean, he seems like a perfectly nice person, but no self-respecting theater aficionado can actually like Andrew Lloyd Webber's particular brand of musical theater, what with the falling chandeliers and shows that are - SERIOUSLY - T.S. Eliot poems sung by people dressed as cats on a stage that looks like a spaceship. In case you didn't know, for real, that's what Cats is. And that shit ran forever. Blech! But to his credit, he does write some great songs.
Video montage about the final 14. Everyone knows Matt should go home. Ahem, I mean, "has his work cut out for him."
So which Danny's and Sandy's are safe from the sing-off? Kevin, Derek, Chad, Austin and... Max are safe. Jason "Can Mormons Be Gay? Danny" Celaya and Matt "Man-Tears" Nolan are in the bottom. As for Sandy's, they call Ashley Anderson's name first and I'm all, WTF, MATE? But after calling a few more girls' names the show is all, PSYCH! as Cat Deely says that one of these girls is definitely in the bottom. Her name? Ashley "The Choker" Anderson. Oh, good one, show. You totally had me. I was about to flip out. And the other girl in the bottom is Allie "Heidi Montag without the Personality Sandy" Schultz. Burn, the judges liked you but AMERICA doesn't.
Tonight the contestants are singing songs from "smash-hit musicals," many by ALW himself. Why do they have to be "smash hits"? Why can't a contestant sing a little Carrie if he or she wants? Keeping with the Webber-theme, they could even do some Woman in White. OMG, they should totally do a flops night, but that would just be too interesting. Also, I hope this doesn't mean this is the last we hear of showtunes as song choices.
Comments (12)
These boys should just grease each other up on stage and get it over with!(get it? what a pun!).
The sexual tension is becoming more and more obvious.
Love,
KH
PS---FYI, Krank Mills...I think Jon Secada played Danny in one of the many 'grease' revivals.
1 of 12 | Posted by KatiesHole![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 14, 2007 4:11 PM
Krank Mills, Austin did a GREAT job this week, I'll give you that. It's the first time I actually enjoyed his performance, instead of wanting to punch him.
However, I just can't see him as Danny. I think he's too fey for that particular character.
It's kind of the same thing with Juliana--she's good, but she isn't right for Sandy. (And no, it's not because she isn't blonde...there's just something about her that isn't right for Sandy.)
I thought Laura did a great job this week--kind of a weird song choice, but she made it work.
Right on about Kevin's haircut. I don't like the guy--not enough personality and he looks too contemporary.
I still love Max (though I thought he could have picked a better song), but I agree with you, he's more of a Doody. I wish they'd make an exception and cast him in a supporting role.
Kathleen's scary Christian eyes frighten me, and Memory is WAY more obvious than I Don't Know How to Love Him.
Allie was okay on the latter, but she needed to act it more.
And I'm quickly falling out of love with Kate. She has a freaking mullet, and her voice is good, but I don't think she's a very good actress/performer. And that's important too.
My favorites? Still Chad for Danny (yeah, he had the flu and the song was boring, but it still sounded gorgeous and he has great charisma), and I like Arms Guy too. For Sandy, Ashley Spencer, and Laura is quickly rising in the rankings for me.
Thanks for the great recap!
2 of 12 | Posted by maybeimamazed02![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 14, 2007 5:27 PM
The reason that the producers are so obsessed with Max's hair is because it would be too cruel to say he's just too plain ugly to play Danny, so they try to build him up by blaming his hair.
Laura did a GREAT job. I had never noticed her before but she's certainly got my attention now!
3 of 12 | Posted by 626![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 14, 2007 5:50 PM
Actually, FWIW, Jon Secada played Danny Zuko on Broadway in 1995. :O)
4 of 12 | Posted by peepsmama![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 14, 2007 6:11 PM
Great recap!!I really liked Derek this week and aww hell Austin too but my fav still is Chad and I like Ashely S for Sandy doesn't she look a bit like a younger version of Meg Ryan? like when she did when harry met sally?
again awesome recap!!!
5 of 12 | Posted by Rose18![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 14, 2007 10:30 PM
Andrew Lloyd Webber looks like a Muppet. His weird "boneless" hand clapping made me think a big hand was up his butt and controlling his movements.
By the way, "pierce the toast"...a great Bird Cage reference.
6 of 12 | Posted by Jezebel![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 15, 2007 10:35 AM
unintentionally funny lines from the night:
“The level of talent is so high!”.
calling phantom a "masterpeice".
any of Max's 30 cliche'd "Now its time to bring our A game!" sayings.
"World wide Weber" Its unintentially funny because its not clever like Billy Bush thought, but just shows what a dueche he is.
When Juliana sanf Don’t Cry For Me Argentina" from Evita, instead of singing the line “I kept my promise. Don’t keep you distance” She actually sings “I kept my prom eyes. Don’t keep you distance”. Swear to god. I even rewound it and listened to it twice. I guess they are catering to their audience, since the 14 year olds would rather hear songs about proms instead of a long dead Argentinean dictators spouse.
7 of 12 | Posted by EdHill![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 15, 2007 11:43 AM
I almost forgot the best one. Wehn Jim Jacobs, who loves everything he see's, tell's Max:
“You’re a master storyteller. I love you madly!”.
8 of 12 | Posted by EdHill![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 15, 2007 11:46 AM
EdHill -- re: Juliana singing, I know! She's changing the vowels cause she can't get the sound out on the correct vowel. What a newb.
9 of 12 | Posted by kmills![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 15, 2007 12:52 PM
Hmmm...that pic of "Laura" is actually a pic of "Julianna". I guess that says volumes as to how memorable either of those gals are. I actually like Julianna - when she's singing like a normal singer.
Austin? Really? I agree with maybeimamazed02 - he's too fey to play Danny. There is no macho bone in Austin's body and I kind of gag when they call him "hot Danny".
Oy. My choices I guess are - for Sandy Ashley Spencer and Kate - mullet notwithstanding. For Danny - Sick Boy and Derek. Even with Derek's less than stellar dancing, we have totally learned from Dancing with the Stars that newbs can make it work.....
10 of 12 | Posted by jennae![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 15, 2007 2:23 PM
Actually, "That'll Be the Day" I believe is from the musical "The Buddy Holly Story: Live" which had a short run on Broadway from 90-91
11 of 12 | Posted by primadarling![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 15, 2007 2:30 PM
this show is sooo boring.
yes austin is obviously the best. i forgot who the best gal is most likely kate.
12 of 12 | Posted by wincha![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 18, 2007 7:37 PM