The latest episode of Grease: You're The One That I Want was an exercise in bad pants, nicknames and back stories. Yes, with the contestants narrowed down to twelve (Or are they?! [NO, THEY'RE NOT AND I'M TOTALLY FURIOUS!]) And two hours to fill, we learn a little bit about everyone and then give them nicknames that boil that entire life story into one totally non-succinct adjective. For most contestants, I found the nicknames the show gave them insufficient and decided to create my own. And did I mention it was TWO FREAKING HOURS LONG? I seriously might fall into a coma by the end of this.
Zoom in on the stage, LIVE from Hollywood, it's the, um, live show! The twelve potential Danny's and Sandy's are lined up across the stage in a-dorable matching outfits: Leather bomber jackets and jeans for the Danny's, and shiny leggings and tops for the girls.
Actually, scratch that, the men look adorable, the women all look pregnant. Those shiny lycra leggings are doing almost none of the girls any favors. Also, each finalist has been given a color. This, coupled with the fact that the show will give them each a nickname labeling his or her personality just highlights what NBC thinks of the intelligence of their viewing audience. Based on the quality of product, they're probably right. Except about me. And you. Maybe.
After the credits, we've got a group number of all the finalists singing "You're the One That I Want." It is entirely uninspiring since we JUST heard this song sung better by professionals during the credit sequence. Also, THOSE PANTS! I would cry if I were on this show and saw a tape of this and could see what I looked like broadcast to tens of hundreds of people across America. What was the costumer thinking? They could have hidden all those girls' paunches with a nice poodle skirt, which really would have been a more suitable costume ANYWAYS since Sandy spends 96% of the show in a poodle skirt, and only changes who she is for the man she loves in the very last scene.
Basically, this performance looks like a high school production of Grease. For a minute I didn't think Kathleen Marshall had staged this because the choreography was kind of bad. For example, all the staged fighting. Kathleen Marshall, you are no Jerome Robbins and this is certainly no West Side Story . There's a little of the Kiss Me, Kate magic at one point, but mostly this opener is just a showcase of HORRIBLE PANTS ON GIRLS.
Since all the Danny's and Sandy's are getting nicknames tonight, I only thought it fair to include Billy Bush and Denise Van Outen. Billy Bush shall henceforth be known as Ryan Seacrest and Denise Van Outen shall be known as Cat Deeley. And it is so.
Ryan Seacrest goes down the checklist of any good talent reality show: Fans, Band, Panel of Judges. "Ta-da!" Says the brass section of said band.
"But! Pick the wrong Danny and Sandy and the Broadway show could go up in flames." That actually sounds like fun. Thanks for the idea, Ryan Seacrest. Before he introduces us to the panel, Ryan Seacrest reminds us that the judges' reputations are at stake. But really, any TV is good TV to a theater professional. Though really really, I think it would have been better for everyone involved to have done a spot on Law & Order instead.
Jim Jacobs apparently invented the hanging moon. That sounds dirty. Guest judge: Olivia Newton-John. That's a major guest to be pulling out for the first live show. She should be on the finale. No, John Travolta should totally be on the finale, but that's SOOOO not happening.
Back story! Derek Keeling, 26, West Virginia. He was a runner. But his senior year he got injured and so did musical theater to fill his time. He's doing this for his dad and swears he won't let us down. Too late. The best part of these back stories is that they make the contestants tell their hometown peeps they got on the show in front of the cameras. This show totally OWNS these nobodies.
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Comments (10)
I only watched the first hour of this because of new Simpsons, etc. This show is just ridiculous to me. I get the same queasy, slightly nauseous, embarrassed feeling that I used to get when I attended bad high school plays when I watch this show. Do these people really expect to get famous from this? If they were any good they would already be on Broadway. And shame on Olivia Newton John for supporting this shit. I probably will keep watching though, because I never pass up a chance to make fun of others. I'm just that kind of girl.
1 of 10 | Posted by BlueAspic
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Posted on January 31, 2007 10:05 PM
This show is the reverse of Idol I thought the audition shows were way more interesting. This was a total cheesefest. But of course I'll probably keep watching. The judges have to stop being cheerleaders though. P.S. ONJ should have a clause in her contract that she can not be broadcast in HD. Not a pretty sight.
2 of 10 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on February 1, 2007 8:14 AM
It's amazing how much this show is copying the British inspiration (How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria). Bringing back the cut contestants (although it worked out better in the UK version), the color coding, the cheesy nicknames, even the set for the live show is pretty much the same.
And I hate Austin. I'm watching just to watch him lose.
3 of 10 | Posted by kvc
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Posted on February 1, 2007 10:08 AM
Recap is right on the money.
And I am so with you kvc -- can't stand Austin, especially for this role. He's more "Fey Danny" than any other kind of Danny. Probably a great ensemble performer but just plain annoying otherwise.
I can't believe I sat there and watched this crap for 2 hours -- it is such a poorly produced show and most of the talent is forgettable.
4 of 10 | Posted by nj2ca
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Posted on February 1, 2007 11:33 AM
OK, so I turned off the show as soon as I heard them utter those stupid nicknames for everyone. And then I got to the paragraph in your recap where you give them your own nicknames and dug up the episode on the dvr. Damn you, Krank, I thought I had managed to successfully drop this show and now you've sucked me back in!
Your nicknames are so much better and the recap was right now.
Pretty Boy Danny is my current favorite, he's not only cute but I actually liked listening to his song. The same can not be said for everyone. Austin sucks. But then I thought that since I first saw him. Meh.
And you're right about So You Think You Can Dance too. I miss it so.
5 of 10 | Posted by mountain_girl
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Posted on February 1, 2007 2:46 PM
THANK YOU, Krank! A fellow theatre geek has arrived at TVGasm! My roommate and I love all of your obscure musical theatre references.
I hate Austin. I have since Day 1. I'd believe him as Link in Hairspray (I think he said that was his job before he got on this show), but NOT as Danny. Waaaay too gay.
Love Max, but I can't get past the fact that he looks more like Doody. Maybe Sonny. I wish they would make an exception and cast him somewhere in the show, as I love his voice and presence.
Kevin has a good voice but is too contemporary. Gay Mormon Jason creeped me out for some reason. I liked the first guy (keep forgetting his name).
Chad is so far my favorite--has been ever since his first audition, when he sang Hunka Hunka Burnin Love (really good choice for a Danny audition). Cute, funny, charismatic, believable as a straight guy.
As for the girls, Kathleen weirds me out in the way that really really Christian people do (I used to work at Borders, and the people buying Bibles were often the rudest customers). Allie is too young and untrained. Kate's got a great voice, but I'm not sure if she can act. Juliana has a good voice, but just really annoys me (she just seems very sugary and fake). My favorite so far is Ashley Spencer--has the perfect look (especially when her hair is in a ponytail)and a good voice.
Ashley Anderson--I want to like her, but she needs to get a grip. She wants it too badly. Matt Nolan...sweet guy, would be great for community theatre. However, he's simply too untrained to be a Broadway lead.
My main concern is that America is casting not just one person, but a couple. Meaning chemistry should be a factor as well...hopefully as the judges get down to the final four or six, they will start pairing them off.
6 of 10 | Posted by maybeimamazed02
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Posted on February 2, 2007 9:37 AM
This show is absolutely cheese-tastic!!!!!!
I guess I'm in the minority because I found the tryouts and Grease Academy painful to watch. I decided to give it one live show to see if I would keep watching. The answer is a resounding - YES! Of course I probably will continue watching it via TIVO so I can fast forward through Billy Bush crap and idiotic group numbers.
7 of 10 | Posted by gretcheepoo
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Posted on February 2, 2007 6:56 PM
Hi Everyone! I love this show! It's giving these talented kids the opportunity of a lifetime! I have a friend that is a finalist, but I am rooting for all of them!
They are doing a great job.
It would be nice if you all would give them a break. Also, if it doesn't appeal to you, why are you all tuned in every week? Just a question! Have a great day!
8 of 10 | Posted by Choderman
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Posted on February 8, 2007 8:07 AM
Wow, Choderman. I'll bet your friend appreciates your loyal support, with you "rooting for all of them"!
At this point, I do not appreciate the producers yanking my chain with this "let's give these guys a second chance" routine. I honestly feel they did that just so they could give the actual finalists another chance to make an impression on the audience. They decided that some valid options could be "accidentally" eliminated by the unwashed masses, so they threw these two, um...what's that popular phrase these days?? Oh yeah--threw these two retreads under the bus! It's a shame to give them hope and then watch them flounder like they did. Painful.
9 of 10 | Posted by MsEudora
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Posted on February 11, 2007 1:16 PM
There are so many talented actors in NYC that can't even get a foot in the door of this crazy business. These are people who are talented, experienced, and a hell of a lot more entertaining than any of the HACKS on this show! So when I see these amateurs get up there and do a mediocre job at best, and then the judges pretty much blow sunshine up their butts, I get a little angry. I thought Broadway was supposed to be the best of the best. What a joke. This show is making a fool of Broadway. I've turned the show on twice and was so aggravated by what I saw that I can't have anything to do with it. I don't want the show to count me in the ratings. I want it to disappear. The people I want to see on Broadway are the ones who have really worked and struggled for it, the ones who have studied and networked and done shows for free and paid every due possible. Those are the people I want to see on Broadway-not these wide-eyed, clueless kids who have no idea what it really means to entertain people, and no idea of the struggle that most actors go through to make it to Broadway.
10 of 10 | Posted by Mosiedots
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Posted on February 13, 2007 4:16 PM