Austin, 30, Texas. Also has abs out to HERE. You could poke your eye out on those! Aw he was a chubby kid. It caused him pain. But now he has overcome. He talks about how his professional experience should set him apart from the rest. Except he's not the only one with real credits. – Juliana was a swing on the Thoroughly Modern Millie tour, and Jason was in Altar Boyz. No small potatoes, but you don't hear them going on and on. Um, yet.
The songs they sing tonight are supposed to show the contestant's inner-Danny or Sandy, and "say this is me, this is what I can do, I'm the one that you want!" sings Ryan Seacrest! That's right, SINGS. You know Ryan Seacrest TOTALLY wants to be Danny, but settled for hosting when his job at Access Hollywood precluded him from auditioning. What? I'm giving the hosts back stories too.
Up first is Derek. The show calls him "Wholesome" Danny but I think he's more like a "Wholesale" Danny, am I right, am I right? Down low – too slow! He's singing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love." He sings pretty well, but mostly just stands in one place and snaps. That might work fine here thanks to the magic of television, but he'd be BO-ring on stage. His big move is the double-fist-pump. Yeah, it looks about as attractive as it sounds.
Next is "Hot" Danny, Austin singing "Money Money." Ryan Seacrest admits to giving him that nickname. OMG, proof that Ryan Seacrest is gay!! Am I going to get sued for saying that? Austin, I dub thee "Proud" Danny. Ok he sounds pretty awesome except in the falsetto, and he is SO FRICKEN INTO IT. When David Ian was giving that jock advice about being a rock star last week he should have brought Austin in to demonstrate. It's because Austin is SO not a rock star that I find this performance especially swaying. Plus, he has a great Donna McKechnie moment on his way to the stairs. Bravo, Austin.
We turn to the judges for comments. And the last remaining hope that this show could be any good at all is dashed as all the judges only have nice things to say. Even the British guy is nice. What are you here for British man, if not to be brutal?! In other news, Olivia Newton-John has had a lot of work done on her face but none on her neck.
Next up it's "Heidi Montag without the personality" Sandy, Allie Shultz. Allie is from Nashville, and skipped college to move to NYC straight out of high school to become an actress. Brave or stupid? Only time will tell. She's singing "I Love Rock and Roll." The pink jacket signals this is will be more like Britney Spears' version rather than Joan Jett's. Allie starts the song really low and I can barely tell she's singing. She's basically talking in rhythm. At one point she turns her ankle because she can't walk in her kick-ass high-heeled boots and I thank the gods of television for live TV because there's nothing I find funnier than people tripping.
"Seriously guys, she's got a mullet" Sandy, Kate Rockwell is the next to perform. Kate was a big dork in high school, but gained confidence because of her voice. Yawn. She's singing "All By Myself" and it's TOTALLY AWESOME. She totally brings the house down with her 11 o'clock number. For a second I wish I wasn't watching this later on my DVR so I could vote for her.
The judges loved both of them. Duh.
Next up, our surprise Danny and Sandy: cut contestants Matt Nolan and Ashley Anderson. WORST. SURPRISE. EVER. They're back for a second chance. That's nice, except every time these two were passed in the earlier, it was because they were given another chance by the panel. Ashley had, like, FOUR chances at her first audition. Another something we learn: Ashley Anderson is married, both her and her husband's families live far away, so they really only have each other, and I pity that poor, poor man.
The show gives Ashley the nickname "Emotional" Sandy, though she'll always be The Choker to me. Ryan Seacrest awesomely zings that he wanted to call Matt "Man-Tears" Danny, but that was vetoed in favor of "Second Chance" Danny. HaHA!
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Comments (10)
I only watched the first hour of this because of new Simpsons, etc. This show is just ridiculous to me. I get the same queasy, slightly nauseous, embarrassed feeling that I used to get when I attended bad high school plays when I watch this show. Do these people really expect to get famous from this? If they were any good they would already be on Broadway. And shame on Olivia Newton John for supporting this shit. I probably will keep watching though, because I never pass up a chance to make fun of others. I'm just that kind of girl.
1 of 10 | Posted by BlueAspic
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Posted on January 31, 2007 10:05 PM
This show is the reverse of Idol I thought the audition shows were way more interesting. This was a total cheesefest. But of course I'll probably keep watching. The judges have to stop being cheerleaders though. P.S. ONJ should have a clause in her contract that she can not be broadcast in HD. Not a pretty sight.
2 of 10 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on February 1, 2007 8:14 AM
It's amazing how much this show is copying the British inspiration (How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria). Bringing back the cut contestants (although it worked out better in the UK version), the color coding, the cheesy nicknames, even the set for the live show is pretty much the same.
And I hate Austin. I'm watching just to watch him lose.
3 of 10 | Posted by kvc
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Posted on February 1, 2007 10:08 AM
Recap is right on the money.
And I am so with you kvc -- can't stand Austin, especially for this role. He's more "Fey Danny" than any other kind of Danny. Probably a great ensemble performer but just plain annoying otherwise.
I can't believe I sat there and watched this crap for 2 hours -- it is such a poorly produced show and most of the talent is forgettable.
4 of 10 | Posted by nj2ca
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Posted on February 1, 2007 11:33 AM
OK, so I turned off the show as soon as I heard them utter those stupid nicknames for everyone. And then I got to the paragraph in your recap where you give them your own nicknames and dug up the episode on the dvr. Damn you, Krank, I thought I had managed to successfully drop this show and now you've sucked me back in!
Your nicknames are so much better and the recap was right now.
Pretty Boy Danny is my current favorite, he's not only cute but I actually liked listening to his song. The same can not be said for everyone. Austin sucks. But then I thought that since I first saw him. Meh.
And you're right about So You Think You Can Dance too. I miss it so.
5 of 10 | Posted by mountain_girl
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Posted on February 1, 2007 2:46 PM
THANK YOU, Krank! A fellow theatre geek has arrived at TVGasm! My roommate and I love all of your obscure musical theatre references.
I hate Austin. I have since Day 1. I'd believe him as Link in Hairspray (I think he said that was his job before he got on this show), but NOT as Danny. Waaaay too gay.
Love Max, but I can't get past the fact that he looks more like Doody. Maybe Sonny. I wish they would make an exception and cast him somewhere in the show, as I love his voice and presence.
Kevin has a good voice but is too contemporary. Gay Mormon Jason creeped me out for some reason. I liked the first guy (keep forgetting his name).
Chad is so far my favorite--has been ever since his first audition, when he sang Hunka Hunka Burnin Love (really good choice for a Danny audition). Cute, funny, charismatic, believable as a straight guy.
As for the girls, Kathleen weirds me out in the way that really really Christian people do (I used to work at Borders, and the people buying Bibles were often the rudest customers). Allie is too young and untrained. Kate's got a great voice, but I'm not sure if she can act. Juliana has a good voice, but just really annoys me (she just seems very sugary and fake). My favorite so far is Ashley Spencer--has the perfect look (especially when her hair is in a ponytail)and a good voice.
Ashley Anderson--I want to like her, but she needs to get a grip. She wants it too badly. Matt Nolan...sweet guy, would be great for community theatre. However, he's simply too untrained to be a Broadway lead.
My main concern is that America is casting not just one person, but a couple. Meaning chemistry should be a factor as well...hopefully as the judges get down to the final four or six, they will start pairing them off.
6 of 10 | Posted by maybeimamazed02
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Posted on February 2, 2007 9:37 AM
This show is absolutely cheese-tastic!!!!!!
I guess I'm in the minority because I found the tryouts and Grease Academy painful to watch. I decided to give it one live show to see if I would keep watching. The answer is a resounding - YES! Of course I probably will continue watching it via TIVO so I can fast forward through Billy Bush crap and idiotic group numbers.
7 of 10 | Posted by gretcheepoo
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Posted on February 2, 2007 6:56 PM
Hi Everyone! I love this show! It's giving these talented kids the opportunity of a lifetime! I have a friend that is a finalist, but I am rooting for all of them!
They are doing a great job.
It would be nice if you all would give them a break. Also, if it doesn't appeal to you, why are you all tuned in every week? Just a question! Have a great day!
8 of 10 | Posted by Choderman
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Posted on February 8, 2007 8:07 AM
Wow, Choderman. I'll bet your friend appreciates your loyal support, with you "rooting for all of them"!
At this point, I do not appreciate the producers yanking my chain with this "let's give these guys a second chance" routine. I honestly feel they did that just so they could give the actual finalists another chance to make an impression on the audience. They decided that some valid options could be "accidentally" eliminated by the unwashed masses, so they threw these two, um...what's that popular phrase these days?? Oh yeah--threw these two retreads under the bus! It's a shame to give them hope and then watch them flounder like they did. Painful.
9 of 10 | Posted by MsEudora
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Posted on February 11, 2007 1:16 PM
There are so many talented actors in NYC that can't even get a foot in the door of this crazy business. These are people who are talented, experienced, and a hell of a lot more entertaining than any of the HACKS on this show! So when I see these amateurs get up there and do a mediocre job at best, and then the judges pretty much blow sunshine up their butts, I get a little angry. I thought Broadway was supposed to be the best of the best. What a joke. This show is making a fool of Broadway. I've turned the show on twice and was so aggravated by what I saw that I can't have anything to do with it. I don't want the show to count me in the ratings. I want it to disappear. The people I want to see on Broadway are the ones who have really worked and struggled for it, the ones who have studied and networked and done shows for free and paid every due possible. Those are the people I want to see on Broadway-not these wide-eyed, clueless kids who have no idea what it really means to entertain people, and no idea of the struggle that most actors go through to make it to Broadway.
10 of 10 | Posted by Mosiedots
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Posted on February 13, 2007 4:16 PM