Ryan Seacrest welcomes us to the grand finale. Opening the show are the "Past, Present and Future" Dannys and Sandys singing "We Go Together." Remember how they did this on the second live show? Yeah, this routine is almost exactly the same, save a few spots to feature the four finalists. And it's all the ol' favorites. Hey there's Kate and Kathleen! Oh, and The Chin, how I've missed you. Ashley Anderson is so happy to be on TV again while Matt Nolan looks as petrified as ever. Aw, he's trying so hard.

This sucks for Allie and Derek who were just cut last week and probably didn't have a chance to go home and cry about it before the show was like, "Yeah, no. We own you."

Ryan Seacrest promises us a dramatic night. It's kind of true, though mostly I was excited because I heard the rest of the Broadway cast was performing. Finally! Some talent! Cat reminds the panel of their powerlessness. What a bitch.

David Ian, however, reminds us that he finds any of these four suitable since they weeded out all the horrible people (ahemMattNolanahem.) And while I agree with David Ian that Austin gives off a Tom Cruise vibe, I don't think we mean it in the same way. David Ian continues the movie star analogy, saying that if Austin is Tom Cruise, then Max is Ben Stiller: quirky, funny, and loaded with heart. I don't know if I'd really call any of Ben Stiller's movies "loaded with heart." Loaded with poo, yes. Heart, not so much.

Jim Jacobs compares the girls, saying that Ashley is more like the Sandy at the end, while Laura is more fitting for Sandy during the rest of the show. That's kind of a backhanded way of calling Ashley a slut, which, you wish, Jim Jacobs.

Kathleen thinks Ashley is pretty, but comes across as "goddess-like" and out of reach while Laura is more down-to-earth and accessible. Ryan promises more performances from the "fantastic four" after the break, but of course there is just more video filler. WHY? Why did they have to make this finale episode an hour long? All this footage was pretty boring to watch the first time around and does not improve on repeat viewing.

Seriously, we're going back to the original auditions. I barely care about these four, much less all these uggos who didn't even make it this far. There were horrible, clueless people, and there were some people who belt really loud who make it to Grease Academy, aka the TOUGHEST! AUDITION! EVER! There were actors and thus there were tears. Those were winnowed down to the final twelve who got to perform for such illustrious personalities as Olivia Newton-John, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Rob Marshall. Wow. What a journey.

Interestingly, right out of Grease Academy Kathleen would have cast Juliana and Derek. Well good thing AMERICA saved you from yourself, Kathleen Marhsall, or you'd be stuck with the Cracker.

People were eliminated and the pressure built week by week. More tears! Derek cracked under the pressure and we got our final four: Max, Austin, Ashley and Laura. They're all excited and anxious. Well relax kids, you've got another 48 minutes or so to wait. Btw, I think Austin's superfan is back tonight, screaming her head off. She's not as close to a microphone so it's not as obvious, but after the video you can definitely hear her over Ryan Seacrest's blathering.

Finally tonight we see "You're the One that I Want" performed by the contestants! Just the final four. And as skinny as these two girls have gotten over the run of this show, those stupid pants still look awful. Girls, it's the pants. Please have a cookie.

What is this being they call "woman?"

Cat Deeley is over powered by the roaring of the crowd as she asks for the judges' comments. Kathleen Marshall makes the clunkiest reference to March Madness and the Final Four, it's embarrassing. Seriously, who is writing this? Jim Jacobs acknowledges that they've basically been tortured on TV for the past 5 or 6 weeks. It's funny how regularly people submit themselves for torture on TV for my amusement. Coming up after the break - more video filler and another performance from the losers!

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Posted in Grease: You're the One That I Want by Krank Mills at 8:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)
Last Comment: felicia on Apr 2, 2007 03:09 PM.

Comments (13)

JasonR :

KM,
Thanks for the recaps all season. This show was sometimes fun to watch, but even when it wasn't, it was fun to mock. I too was rooting for Max and Laura. I thought it would be tough having Laura be slutty Sandy in the last scene but I have to say she tarted up quite nicely at the end of the show.

I was also lol about how old the Broadway cast looked. Everyone in the movie looked 30-35 and these guys make them look like kids. At least Max and Laura can be somewhat convincing as high schoolers.

I watch Idol but have never spent a cent to buy the music of anyone who appeared on the show, and I don't know if I'll shell out the money to see Grease, but curiousity may get the best of me.

1 of 13 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on March 27, 2007 12:28 PM

rjfrankel :

Did anyone notice how clearly the 'professionals' were professional -- the caliber of stage presence was raised several notches when the other non-winning contestants left the stage? Yes, they are too old, but the difference was striking.

My mother, whom I called during every commercial break, informed me that her cousins are planning to go to New York to see the show and did I want to join them (they are in their late 60's, I'm in my 40's)? I laughed, but then thought, "Sure". So, does anyone know the deal -- is the contract just for a week, or 30 days, or was that just an out for them in case the winners were not good. I suspect that if advanced ticket sales based on the tv show are good, people are going to see Laura and Max, so they will continue in those roles for that part of the run at least.

2 of 13 | Posted by rjfrankel | Posted on March 27, 2007 12:47 PM

yvonne:

they picked the wrong people it should of been AUSTIN and ASHLEY they where the best of them all. only time will tell that LAURA and MAX WERE WRONG CHOICES.

3 of 13 | Posted by yvonne | Posted on March 27, 2007 12:56 PM

yvonne:

they picked the wrong people it should of been AUSTIN and ASHLEY they where the best of them all. only time will tell that LAURA and MAX WERE WRONG CHOICES.

4 of 13 | Posted by yvonne | Posted on March 27, 2007 12:58 PM

Rose18 :

OMG I lol so much with your recap! you were awesome!!!
I have to admit it I was so hooked up on this show and Im sure going to miss it!!!
Congrats max and laura woooohooo!

5 of 13 | Posted by Rose18 | Posted on March 27, 2007 12:59 PM

Jennae:

I would have been fine with either of those final three gals (although I secretly wanted Ashley Anderson to make it there). I'm just overjoyed that I didn't have to see any short glimpses of Lindsey from So You Want to Be a Soap Star.

The boys made me HAPPY though - seriously America RULED in this competition - unlike almost every other of the call-in voter ilk.

6 of 13 | Posted by Jennae | Posted on March 27, 2007 1:03 PM

felicia:

they pick the wrong people it should of been AUSTIN and ASHLEY they were the best of them all.

7 of 13 | Posted by felicia | Posted on March 27, 2007 1:06 PM

Lisa:

Well good. Now I can skip Grease. I was only going to go if Austin got the role because he's got a great voice, is a fantastic dancer, and is a believable guy in love onstage.

I'll spend my money elsewhere. Legally Blonde, perhaps? Or the new musical version of Shrek? Either of those will be more entertaining than Grease with Max.

8 of 13 | Posted by Lisa | Posted on March 27, 2007 9:28 PM

busybee68 :

yvonne/felicia(#'s 3,4 and 7)

If you're going to post under different names, at least mix it up a bit, don't use the same wording! Oh, and it's "should have been", not "should of been" (pet peeve of mine!).

9 of 13 | Posted by busybee68 | Posted on March 28, 2007 5:44 PM

felicia:

mine your business busybee68 ill do what i want

10 of 13 | Posted by felicia | Posted on March 30, 2007 8:51 PM

felicia:

mine your business busybee68 its no concern of yours.

11 of 13 | Posted by felicia | Posted on March 30, 2007 8:57 PM

busybee68 :

^^Does this mean no one is supposed to respond to your "comments"? Fine by me, your spelling and grammar were giving me a headache anyway.

12 of 13 | Posted by busybee68 | Posted on April 2, 2007 11:57 AM

felicia :

please spare me give it up. your no better than me. you were giving me a headache yourself. so keep your thoughts to yourself next time busybee68.

13 of 13 | Posted by felicia | Posted on April 2, 2007 3:09 PM

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