Tonight's episode perfectly embodied what this whole Grease experience has been about. The final four Dannys and Sandys performed for AMERICA's votes. They each sang half a song from Grease and half of two pop songs. We saw dancing in a group number and didn't see any acting. We measured chemistry by looking at the Dannys and Sandys side by side. And now we have to judge who should go into Grease on Broadway. Is it any wonder this is going to be a train wreck when these few weeks of pop performances are what we have to judge these people hand-picked by the judges?
And you know what I heard last week? That the grand prize on this show is ONE WEEK on Broadway in Grease. Now, I've had no verification on the matter, which is where you come in. Heard anything to the contrary?
We begin tonight's show in a soda shoppe, with our six (soon to be four) remaining Dannys and Sandys singing "Rock and Roll is Here to Stay." Now you all know how I love Max, but he sounds kind of horrible on those opening chords. All of a sudden he's nasal and wobbly, but he does manage to pull it together as he starts his solo.
There is so much spanky-pants flashing in this number. Sometimes I feel like the girls are intentionally pulling their skirts up. Just because you're wearing shorts, doesn't mean you have to show us!
More singing, more dancing. Everyone sounds good and moves well. It was pretty much at this moment that I realized I really don't care which girl becomes Sandy. And I want Max to be Danny, but I don't really care that much. Why don't I care about any of these people?? I've been watching them for weeks - nay months! Give me somebody to dance for!
Oooh, I totally covet Cat Deeley's dress this week. Also, guys, apparently we're making showbiz history! First time ever AMERICA is voting for who they want to star in Grease on Broadway. Actually, I think we've been doing that for weeks now, but whatever! I'm part of showbiz HISTORY!
In just a few minutes we'll learn who's out - no sing off, remember - and then our final four will perform for our votes. Ryan Seacrest introduces the panel of judges, now rendered powerless by AMERICA and DEMOCRACY.
Facists!
The judges are all pretty calm, because they've already weeded out all the unsuitable contestants. We are then treated to a video montage of all those funny contestants we forgot months ago. Remember the tone-deaf transvestite? Oh, those were the days. The days before we realized how truly boring this show could be.
The final six sang their hearts out last week. But was it enough? Ominous music plays as we return from commercials. Allie, Ashley, Laura, you want to be Sandy, but does AMERICA want you to be their Sandy? America wants Laura, she's safe. She and her poodle skirt flounce off. So who's going home, Ashley or Allie? Ha, totes obvi. "Ashely, this is the most stressful moment of your life... And it is not going to get any easier." Says Ryan Seacrest. You can read every thought in Ashley's head at that moment - she totally thinks she's out. If I could get a screencap of that image, I would, but I think this picture of Meg Ryan will suffice:
There is no way I'm going home before Allie.
Ashley was in fact mistaken, and she will perform in the finale tonight. Aw, Allie, America hates you. Bye!
Allie says it's a big letdown and tries not to FREAK out. Let's watch a sad video of your journey. No, not sad enough. Let's get a picture-in-picture box with you watching this sad video. Ah, there are the tears. Tears of crushed dreams. So sad. I kind of can't believe she made it this far. I'm also kind of glad to see her go because now I don't have to worry that she's going to fall down the stairs and break her neck.
Now it's the Dannys turn to sweat. Austin... is safe. NO WAY! Yes way! Austin scampers off to get ready for his next number. When I first watched this I seriously thought Max might be going home. But AMERICA didn't disappoint me, and crackmaster Derek is finally gone!
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Comments (3)
Krank, I totally heart your reviews of this show. Max's bawling when recounting his Bell's palsy was kind of lame. I was embarrassed for him even though I like him a lot. I think Ashley is scary. I don't really care who wins. Yawn!
1 of 3 | Posted by LonnaSaur
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Posted on March 20, 2007 1:38 PM
In response to your question, I heard that the winner of the contest gets a 30 day contract. Great recaps!
2 of 3 | Posted by abbeylane
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Posted on March 20, 2007 2:47 PM
That kiss...I am effing blind. Oh the humanity.
3 of 3 | Posted by Danny Aged
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Posted on March 20, 2007 5:35 PM