Next up duets, but first, let's chat with the judges, remember them? Cat asks Kathleen what she's looking for. Kathleen explains, "Who do you believe? Who is true? Who is real? Who connects to the words and to each other?"

Ryan adds, "And maybe a little making out too," as the final four will now demonstrate in this first set of duets. Austin begins singing to Ashley. Austin sounds fake, as he does when he sings boring romantic ballads to women. They kiss and I am skeeved out.

On the other winding staircase it's Laura and Max. Oh what lovers frolic! So tender. Max is totally giving off a Josh Groban vibe, which bodes very well for Max. I think he's vocally outshined by Laura, but they look cute together. Vote for Max and Laura!

When we come back from commercials it's time for our second set of duets. Now, I thought they were going to sing "You're the One that I Want" for the finale, but my friends reminded me that'll totally be on next week's show. Instead tonight the final duet is "I've Had the Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing. No joke. And they don't even do the dance sequence from the movie, which is the only way this song would have been appropriate here. Instead they half dance and are vocally boring. I kind of feel like I'm on a cruise ship, or is that just because they use this song for cruise ship advertisements?

Alright judges, last chance to voice your favorites! Kathleen most believes Max and Laura. Jim hems and haws and blathers before picking Max and Laura as well. David Ian likes Max because he makes us laugh, and likes Laura by a hair for passion alone.

Sing goodbye to Derek and Allie. Bye-y-y-ye for the last time!

Who's psyched for the finale? I am, if for no other reason than I don't have to watch this crap anymore!

Recap: For Purple Mountain Majesties Above the Fruited Plain! America, Ameeeeriiiicaaaa! Sections:  1  |  2  |  3 

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Comments (3)

LonnaSaur Author Profile Page:

Krank, I totally heart your reviews of this show. Max's bawling when recounting his Bell's palsy was kind of lame. I was embarrassed for him even though I like him a lot. I think Ashley is scary. I don't really care who wins. Yawn!

abbeylane Author Profile Page:

In response to your question, I heard that the winner of the contest gets a 30 day contract. Great recaps!

That kiss...I am effing blind. Oh the humanity.

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