Now it's time to make some cuts. Ooh, they're cutting half the contestant pool. Intense! In a sing-off. Not so intense. So all 48 of the newbies have to "sing for their lives" in the gym of this school and it's not quite the most compelling television I've ever seen. They pretend this sing-off is what's determining who goes on and who stays, but David Ian clearly looks at a piece of paper in his hand before every cut and it's pretty obvious it's a list of who's staying and who's going.
The newbies start dropping like flies, and though some take it well, most cry. Hey guys, have you seen Carrie? Just remember, you could be having a worse time in a high school gym. Dominic Fortuna, or as I like to call him, Old Danny, is shocked he got cut and thinks that the thousands of people he's performed for before will be too. I don’t know, I’m pretty shocked he’s there to begin with.
Among the notables, or as I like to call them not-ables, that got cut this round: the boy who got dumped in New York, who's now all up in that black girl who was never going to be Sandy but the judges wouldn't cut her because they didn't want to look racist's grill. Methinks someone is trying to make his ex-girlfriend (more) jealous! Also, did all these shots of crying teenagers hugging each other outside a school make anyone else think of news footage from some horrific school shooting? Seriously, go back and watch it on mute and tell me that's not what it looks like.
Back in the gym, David Ian finally tells them they can stop singing and gives the money line: "Somewhere in this room I'm looking at Sandy and Danny." Among the notables who got through: The Choker, Austin Miller, and The Trio. To celebrate making it to the next round, all 24 of them sing that Rama-Lama-Shoo-Bop song like the big bunch of musical theater dorks they are. (I'm not judging, I am too. A song from Spring Awakening is the ringtone on my cell phone.)
Next up for the newbies: Preparing for an exclusive showcase for theater-critics and a star-studded crowd. Yeah, somehow I think you'd be hard pressed to find Frank Rich or David Rooney at that showcase. Hell, you'd be hard pressed to find Clive Barnes! (Rimshot and random New York theater critic reference! Two for one, up high!) As for star-studded, I see Marilou Henner, Marissa Jaret Winouker and Jai Rodriguez. Someone at NBC has a broke-ass star bedazzler.
So now everyone is in single-sex groups of four, singing a pop song that relates to Danny or Sandy's emotional journey, as staged by Kathleen Marshall. One of those songs? Avril Lavigne's “Complicated." I officially want to punch this show in the face. Seriously, as much as the juke-box musical has a huge presence on Broadway, there is nothing legit theater people hate more than pop music anywhere near Broadway. But I guess this show has shown is that they're not going for a theater crowd, but rather, trying to bring TV watchers to theater. I can argue about the pros and cons of that for hours, so let's move on, shall we?
The groups rehearse vocally and go over their staging with Kathleen Marshall. During the rehearsal for one group of potential Danny's, David Ian pulls Max Crumm (my personal favorite) to have a talk with him about his look. They're concerned because he came to Grease Academy committing the cardinal sin of having long hair and forgetting hair gel. David Ian's flat top judges Max Crumm's floppy, pseudo-hipster haircut. What a bitch. David Ian reiterates to Max that the judges have no imagination, so if he's not walking around looking like Danny 24/7, they just can't believe he could accurately play Danny on Broadway.
In an effort to drum up even more drama than Max Crumm's hair dilemma, we are introduced to new BFFs, Cara Hille and Ashley Spencer. They met in line in LA and now wear vials of each other's blood around their necks, that's how serious this friendship is. Blood sisters! Plus, they're both cocktail waitresses when not acting, and that's a bond that doesn't just happen. Cara admires Ashley and marvels at the way she can learn the music right away. Since they've just been introduced as BFFs, one of them is clearly going home at the end of this episode and her name rhymes with Bara Gille.
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Comments (9)
Too bad the 42-year-old Danny that looked like Joe Namath and the 17-year-old white trash Sandy both got the boot this week. I was hoping there would be some chemistry between them on stage.
1 of 9 | Posted by Foxbase Alpha
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Posted on January 24, 2007 1:18 PM
Foxbase, they might have made a great pair if you were going to stage "Long Island Lolita - The Musical" with them starring as Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher. Hey, wait. That would be a friggin awesome musical! Anyone else that would pay to see that?
2 of 9 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on January 24, 2007 1:58 PM
I'd pay to see that JasonR before going to see this tourist dreck.
I hope America does vote for the worst talent, and the broadway show tanks, miserably.
Am I the only one that hates Billy Bush?
KH
3 of 9 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on January 24, 2007 3:59 PM
No KatiesHole. You're not.
4 of 9 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on January 25, 2007 8:53 AM
Casting and rehearsing for a Broadway musical is more suited to cable (Encore, VH1).
Why would anyone care about these wannabe actors and the whole process?
5 of 9 | Posted by soflat
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Posted on January 25, 2007 9:09 AM
As much as I wish I could love this show, as anything having to do with musical theatre on network television should be extremely exciting--this sucks. And the talent pool sucks. They should've stuck with Hillary Duff.
Hey--if they really went to the Idina school of singing, their belting might carry some weight...
6 of 9 | Posted by aclikeslater
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Posted on January 25, 2007 10:00 AM
Guest Columnist, which Spring Awakening song is your ringtone? From one theatre geek to another...:)
As long as they don't go with Austin (too gay and boy-bandy) and Juliana (whom I just loathe), I think that there are good Sandys and Dannys to be found in the bunch. My personal favorites so far: Chad and Ashley (good True Colors Ashley).
7 of 9 | Posted by maybeimamazed02
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Posted on January 26, 2007 9:30 AM
maybeimamazed, I've got "My Junk" as my main ring, and "Mama Who Bore Me" when family calls. Freaking love that show and getting seats onstage for the day after the Tony's...
8 of 9 | Posted by kmills
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Posted on January 26, 2007 12:02 PM
kmills, NICE!
"My Junk," "The Dark I Know Well," and especially "The Bitch of Living" are my favorites.
I too am craving onstage seats...what a great show! Maybe it's just me, but it's refreshing to hear female voices that don't sound like every other poppy belty Idina wannabe out there.
9 of 9 | Posted by maybeimamazed02
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Posted on January 26, 2007 3:26 PM