Backstage, Billy told us that David's rejection of Fawn had been "the most cutting critique so far!" I didn't realize that the reckless usage of the word "boring" could qualify as a "cutting critique," but this was Billy Bush, we were talking about. He certainly didn't think Fawn should have been dropped like an old belt. As he handed her a tissue, he told Fawn, "This one I don't agree with." GREAT. Remind me to call upon your Broadway know-how when I put together my upcoming production of Nunsense.

Next was an older gay guy/massage therapist named Ricky. He told us his biggest fear was that the judges would tell him he sucked. Well, guess what? He sucked. Such is the cruel nature of You're the One That I Want. More promising was Max Crumb, a twenty-one year old fitness club receptionist. We could tell he had star power because his backstage antics proved him to be terribly goofy. What a pistol! Anyway, he sang very well; although, listening to the smooth stylings of Max Crumb kind of made me feel like I was aboard a cruise ship (near the Jell-o at the midnight smorgasbord, to be exact). No shock here: the judges all loved him and sent him through to the next round -- with one stipulation. The next time they saw him, they wanted him to be dressed like Danny. That meant slicked back hair and a leather coat. SUCH DEMANDS!

We then paused for a little biographical information on David Ian. Turns out he produced the early nineties British production of Grease. It was a risky move for him because he had to take out a second mortgage on his home to fund the show, but luckily, it earned "millions and millions," which meant he had enough money left over to pay for a spray tan or ten.

Suddenly, we found ourselves back with Fawn -- she of the monolithic belt. Billy, it seemed, could not stand idly by as his starlet was cast aside by the cruel judges. She deserved a second chance, he said, and in a move that he claimed was completely unstaged, Billy waltzed out onto the stage and pleaded with the judges to give Fawn another try. Would they show pity for dearest Fawn???

Commercial!

As if there was any suspense. When we returned from the break, the judges all predictably melted from Billy's charm and let Fawn have one more shot at Broadway stardom -- that is, if she didn't demonstrate any "hootie head voice," as Kathleen said. I don't know what Hootie Head Voice is, but I personally think it sounds delightful.

Anyway, for her second shot, which was actually her third song so far, Fawn seemed to be much improved. I still didn't think she had a very good voice, but her energy was up, and the belt -- it couldn't be denied. For a moment it seemed like she might actually redeem herself, but then came one awful, terrible, missed note, and just like that, her dreams shattered. The judges denied her once and for all, and so the saga of Fawn came to an end. Afterwards, she passive aggressively thanked Billy Bush for giving her a second chance to humiliate herself. No, thank you Fawn, my sweet, belty Goddess.

With Fawn officially gone, I couldn't help to wonder one thing: what the hell happened to Denise Van Outen? Did she suddenly come down with a fatal case of Hootie Head Voice?

Nevertheless, next up was... Mindy Cohen? No, wait. It's Wendy the Snapple Lady! Wrong on both counts. This was Patricia, a hefty woman from the Bronx who won points off the getgo for her willingness to bash all the other girls in the competition. Turns out she could sing too. Yes, Patricia had a great Broadway voice, and as added bonus, she was a self-described "tapdancing cupcake." Apparently she literally dresses up like a cupcake and dances for supermarket openings and whatnot. Little known fact: twenty years ago, David Ian was a clogging scone. See? We all have humble origins.

patricia010707

Well, despite her plump disposition, Patricia made it to the next round, and then we were treated to Kathleen Marshall's background: basically, she won a Tony. Hurrah!

Recap: You're the One That I Want: This Show Could Be System-matic. It Could Be Hydro-Matic, Ultra-matic... Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7 

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Comments (21)

Lyndsay Author Profile Page:

Wow! Speedy recap, B-Side! Thanks!

I think I'll keep watching, at least until after Grease Academy. I don't have any favorites at this time, but it's still a pretty fun time. My husband even kinda likes it, and he hates musicals!

zoobabe Author Profile Page:

The fact that 42 year old Dominic made it through to Grease Academy makes this show lose a lot of credibility for me. No way does he look young enough to play Danny, and if he can look younger then the fat girls can lose weight. I won't make it a point to watch it anymore unless nothing better is on.

SaveFerris Author Profile Page:

B-Side, this is one of your most, nay the most, hilarious recaps ever! Much better than the show.

"You say I look like who? Nakomis?"

Classic!

Chris Author Profile Page:

I was all about the Dancing Cupcake but now I'm going to have to find myself a new Sandy to cheer for. I'm guessing the best will come out of New York next week.

As far as Danny goes, the guy who sang "Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love" is probably my favorite simply because he's hot and did pelvic thrusts.

JasonR Author Profile Page:

This show is so much like Idol it's hard to think of a reason to watch both, but I may just have to if only to fully enjoy B-Side's recaps.

Billy Bush is a really poor man's Seacrest. I'm liking D-Vo, though.

Rebecca the pharmaceutical rep was especially yummy. Very sorry she didn't make the cut.

One thing really bothered me: the claim that "Grease" made Travolta and Newton-John huge stars. Travolta at least was already a pretty huge star when "Grease" came out, having already been in "Welcome Back Kotter" and "Saturday Night Fever".

"Bang-A-Thon on her forehead" . . . heh heh heh.

As an obsessive fan of Grease the movie as a child - I have been waiting for this show for weeks.

I must say I was very disappointed, and rolled my eyes and wanted to turn the TIVO off at least a dozen times while watching.

I am going to stick it out because I think it could get better once they narrow it down to those with some talent.

Oh and on a side not...for the Reality TV junkies like myself there is nothing better than finding a Reality TV crossover on a new show...there was a gal that made the cut for Sandy that also went pretty far on I Want to be a Soap Opera Star. She was the blonde girl and has an Australian accent, but they didn't show too much of her last night.

soflat Author Profile Page:

Why was that deaf old woman trying out? The characters are in high school.

I thought the black chick was pretty good and she'd make for an interesting take on the musical.

Oh well, I couldn't sit thru the whole, it was boring.

Great recap though.

maybeimamazed02 Author Profile Page:

The fact that Deja got to stay even though none of the judges appeared to like her that much ticked me off. It reminded me of The Bachelor (or Bachelorette) where the African American guy only makes it past the first round.

Cupcake cracked me up, and I too thought Rebecca was sweet and very Olivia Newton John-ish (without the scary Botox). I've actually been in Grease before, and I'm sure they're planning on revamping the production (hence the inclusion of You're the One That I Want, which was written for the movie, not the play), but Sandy really doesn't dance in the play, and she didn't dance much in the movie (if you look closely, you'll see that the heavy choreography belonged to John Travolta, who was a dancer). Again, I'm guessing that Sandy will dance more in the revival.

I know a lot of it's edited, but I was kinda sad that they didn't find more talent in my sweet home Chicago. My roommate and I met while doing a local production of Grease six years ago (he played Eugene, the nerdy guy), and he thought about auditioning, except that he doesn't have the vocal range for Danny.

Danny favorite so far: Hunka Hunka Burnin Love guy. He's the only one I saw who had the right charisma for Danny. Dominic's great, but too old to make it much further. 17-year-old girl (I forget her name) would need a really young Danny, and I don't see that happening either.

And though I felt bad for Sunshine, America's not ready for an overweight Sandy. Sorry. She'd be a great Jan, but they're not casting supporting characters.

The other thing I worry about is that they'll be fixated on a blonde Sandy, when the original Broadway Sandy was a brunette. Same with Danny--Barry Bostwick did NOT look like John Travolta at all.

Yes, I'm addicted already. I'm such a dork.

MTV4ME Author Profile Page:

I was a little excited about this show too. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either. I found myself rolling my eyes out of annoyance.

I suppose we can thank American Idol for allowing people with NO TALENT to even be televised on a crappy audition. Although I enjoy some of the American Idol antics, this show can do without it. I am watching specifically for the love of the musical and I suspect most of the viewers are too. It's a waste of time to allow crappy auditions into the televised show for a quick gaffaw.

Hopefully the New York auditions will be better.

Foxbase Alpha Author Profile Page:

I wonder how the producers of the show are going to work in the legitimate Broadway cast with their Danny and Sandy unknowns? Is this show also casting the Danny and Sandy understudies as well?

Laurie Author Profile Page:

Once again, all "good" reality shows are remakes of successful british versions (pop idol, big brother, dancing with celebrities etc)

There was a british version of this show where the winner got the part of Maria and the in the Andrew Lloyd Webber production of The Sound of Music in the West End. So I'm guessing that the producers already have a system in place for working the rest of the cast in.

augustburns2 Author Profile Page:

According to a broadway website, there is a former castmember of a off-broadway musical in this show --

http://www.broadway.com/gen/general.aspx?ci=536203

I suspect that the New York auditions will be amazing.

I felt sorry for some of the people that were let go. I wish that they would also let them audition for the other characters like Jan and Doody. They could go to Grease Academy and put through the ringer for those other characters - like a Miss Lynch boot camp

JasonR Author Profile Page:

The good thing about this show is that, unlike "Idol", these are open auditions, so when we get to NY auditions, we should be seeing some stage pros on a par with or surpassing what we saw from L.A.

BSL Author Profile Page:

Put me down for being disappointed in the first show. But surely things will get better at Grease Academy - according to the previews, there are at least TWO hookups!

I really liked that perky Cara Kelly. I liked Sunshine buuuut...I mean, not to be mean but if this is your "dream" then you should probably lose weight. It's a cruel industry based on looks.

And I like Max Crumb! Leave him alone B-Side!

EdHill Author Profile Page:

notice that when Robin said she has written mystery novels she didnt say "published" so I'm assuming these novels were written in her own menstrual fluid on her bedroom wall.

An hour and a half premeire was pretty tough to take. This show needs some serious editing. But heck, it wont be around long anyway.

LuvzSunshine Author Profile Page:

EdHill! EEEEEWWWWWW!!!

suebee Author Profile Page:

Olivia and John T. weren't made famous by the musical version of Grease anyway.

Here is a link to the gal I mentioned made the cut for Sandy. She was previously on I Want to be a Soap Star.

Any other career reality star spottings?

http://soapnet.go.com/shows/soapstar3/bio.html?contestant=lindsey

Well here it is I guess...the first time didn't work.

maybeimamazed02 Author Profile Page:

Suebee, you are right, I noticed that mistake too.

In fact, it's my understanding that Travolta and Newton-John were cast in those roles BECAUSE they were already big stars. That's actually why Danny sings Grease Lightning in the movie and not Kenickie (as in the play)...John Travolta used his clout to take that song away from Jeff Conaway, who was playing Kenickie and who had been in the show on Broadway.

My roommate went to school with Jacqueline from Chicago.

kelsee422 Author Profile Page:

whoa.....I went to school with her too!

Small. World.

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