Previously on The Great American Road Trip, the Cooties were overthrown!! This calls for a celebration!!! People are already celebrating on Route 66 and burning effigies of Mama Cooties. The brutal leader has been dethroned! Take out the champagne and your guns!! We're gonna party like it's 1999!!
We finally saw the Cooties lose their shit over ONE loss. Mama Cooties, the mastermind behind the Cooties Empire, demoted #2 Jake to #3.
NBC tortured me with a non-elimination episode. I said "me" because I know I'm the only one watching this stupid show. In this episode, one family is definitely going home. Thank god, because if there wasn't elimination, I would have taken them out myself...Redneck style!!
The families leave Las Vegas for Boulder City, Nevada for the next King of the Road challenge. Thank you NBC. Make this episode quick and snappy so that I can get on with my life.
Mama Cooties states (AGAIN) that the road trip has become a game. No Madame, it's a fucking circus. You're all freaks and I'm recapping your acts. Act #1 is the Redneck family from Alabama that's completely detached from the modern world. Act #2 is the Italian mother with her good-for-nothing husband and her lazy sons. Act #3 is you Mama Cooties: the evil mastermind who plans to take over the competition...and than the world (add diabolical laugh here)! You're almost like the Spartans in this road trip minus the swords and the army. Yes, you're all circus freaks and we spent a whole summer watching you guys do stuff. We were not entertained (throwing popcorn on my computer screen).
The Disalvatores really want to win the King of the Road challenge. I think you should set your sights on winning PERIOD. You guys haven't one anything on this road trip and I'm astonished that you've even made it this far. Blake really wants to win because he wants that walmart-bought crown the Cooties have been hording all this time. He also wants that bumper sticker and the pillow that comes with it. That's when Syl scrunches up his face in this "that's what you r-e-a-l-l-y want???" kind of way. Am I agreeing with Princess Sylvia? Oh my god! What is going on? To be honest it's a stupid crown. If you really want to win something, try to save your behind so that you can at least make it to the finals. If you want one that badly you can make that crown yourself. I know Reno got most of his material from Toys"R"Us.
Allen tells her boys that if they win the King of the Road challenge, they won't need to buy her a birthday card or a present ever again. Allen, have they ever given you cards? Because you seem like the kind of mother who slips post-its around the house with a gentle-reminder of "that special day (insert your birthday here)". Syl warns Allen that she might want to reconsider her offer because if her sacrifice stands, than he's going to have to "bring it". Bring what? You brought a whole lot of nothing on this trip. You wouldn't want the other families to be scared of your non-wrath would you? Syl wants Valentines day included in the pact! You might also want to add mother's day and Christmas. OH, and don't forget Bastille day. Allen puts it in writing and the pact is done.
King of the Road challenge time!! The families are asked to step out of their RV and to hop into these cars...mafia style. They don't know where they're going, but they can sense that they're going to have their kneecaps broken. They drive their way to the next challenge. It looks like they're going to be doing some zip-lining but they must first walk all the way to the top of the deserted mountain under the blistering sun to their next challenge. Sorry guys, the producers didn't have enough money to carry your asses to the top. NBC budget baby!!!
The Disalvatore are all gasping for air as they walk up the deserted hill. You have no excuse and the "big city" nonsense won't work either! You can't drive in New-York! It's WAY to hectic. You could catch a cab but I believe the service is limited in Boulder City. "Our feet belong on sidewalks and streets" Allen tells us. The same goes for dirty cabs, elevators, and metros. Note: all these things are made-man. You're racist against nature. You disgust me!
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Comments (1)
Actually, there are two of us watching this ....er....um.... dumb show. Thanks for the recaps Tyra.
Damn the Cooties for making me root for the family that has made me want to slap my TV since the first episode! I guess it's too much to hope that the Italian Princes might actually grow up a bit, though....
1 of 1 | Posted by Lady-in-Gray | Posted on August 22, 2009 10:08 AM