Desire Under the Bedpans - 
by m_ruv
Well I sure didn't see that coming. The previews made it look like this week's Grey's Anatomy would be essentially a throwaway, a fun little breather after all the drama of the Code Black fiasco. But NO—instead we had a big plot twist at the end that just made things about a hundred times more interesting. Needless to say, if you don't like spoilers, don't read this. (And incidentally, apologies for the late recap—my leprosy and rickets flared up.)
This week we open with yet another voiceover of Meredith saying there's a certain look, a certain smell that patients get when they know they're about to—not really, THANK GOD. Instead, we open with an equally appalling tableau of Cristina dancing in Burke's kitchen with her iPod blaring, her pants open, and a toothbrush in her mouth. Well at least it's not a toilet brush. As Cristina continues to go apeshit, Meredith's voiceover states that there's really no such thing as a grownup: people may move on and move away from home, but they never truly outgrow their childhood habits. As instant proof of this, Burke walks in and also starts dancing—"backing that ass up," as the youth apparently say these days—until they both burst out laughing.

Burke and Cristina reenact the mating dance of the long-extinct dodo
We're plunged firmly back in grownupland when Burke answers Cristina's cell phone, and it's her landlord calling to say that there's a flood in her apartment—her other apartment. Oof. Cristina looks at Burke with embarrassment and quickly tries to back that ass up right out the door.
Meredith, meanwhile, visits her mother at the nursing home. Ellis says she's exhausted. Not because of a spirited game of Chutes and Ladders, mind you, but because she was "going at it all night in the on-call room." Eww, old-person sex. To Meredith's horror, Ellis goes on about how "he"—Dr. Webber, though Meredith still hasn't quite pieced this together—makes her "purr like a kitten" and that Mr. Grey knows all about this harlotry but doesn't have the balls to leave her. Instead, he plays stupid, ignoring even such obvious signs as hickeys on Ellis's neck and 11-inch vibrating dildos in her handbag. Meredith is so shocked that it even shows through the Botox, albeit only for a brief second.
Cristina arrives at the hospital complaining that Burke's acting like she committed a crime, like she's using her old apartment to stash stolen goods or do illegal organ transplants. Sweetie, the big growth industry these days is Christian book publishing—get with the program. Meredith counters with the classic "My mommy's a filthy whore," which she croaks out like Dorothy Zbornak. Cristina is unimpressed.
Elsewhere in the locker room, Izzie notes that Alex "has dirty in his eyes"; he notes the same of her. Hmm, I wonder whether they'll ENGAGE IN RELATIONS soon, since they apparently couldn't go TEN SECONDS without it last week. Izzie claims, however, that she's not doing dirty with Alex anymore—it was a one-time lapse in judgment. Alex quickly corrects her that it was a four-time lapse in judgment—oh you impossibly virile stallion you—but Izzie insists that they'll just remain friends. Whatever honeybuns, drop the chastity shit and just admit your taco stand is open for business.
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