Ooh... throw Alan Alda in there and this could get HOT

In the kitchen, an amused Izzie watches as George suddenly notices that the $8.7 million check is missing from the refrigerator door. He panics, thinking the check has gone lost, but Izzie remains blasé, lost in yet another of her daily My Little Pony daydreams. She lets George squirm a tad longer and then tells him the check is at the bank. George remains incredulous for far too long—seriously George, STOP BEING SO INCREDULOUS, this isn't OPRAH'S FAVORITE THINGS—but then settles into nouveau-riche jubilation. He reminds Izzie that it's a lot of money, so she can travel! buy things! something about "gather ye rosebuds"! George becomes positively giddy.

At work, Dr. Montgomery gets trapped in the hallway between Dr. Sloan and Alex, which is awkward as shit. Then Thatcher Grey, the Grand Poobah of Awkwardville, comes up to ask inane questions, tripling the awkwardness quotient. If I hadn't seen Maria Menounos "interviewing" America Ferrera at the Golden Globes, I'd call this the awkwardest moment ever.

Meredith watches her father's awkwardness parade from a safe distance, wondering how she—a graceful princess, a true flower, not bony or hoarse in the least—could be related to such a clumsy man. Cristina retorts that Meredith is exactly like her father: she stammers constantly, talks nervously for no reason whatsoever, often has bits of food stuck to her face and hair—it's like snack time at Philip Seymour Hoffman's! Meredith fires some lame insults in self-defense but fails miserably.

Dr. Bailey pages Izzie to spinegirl's room (the one from last week, with the vertebrae made of Silly String), where Izzie tries to act surprised when Shepherd announces that some anonymous batshit donor has ponied up $200K to pay for the girl's procedure. Bailey of course knows the donor was Izzie.

Bailey follows Izzie out in the hall to confront her with some dubious MHMMs. She asks Izzie whether she spent all that cheddar simply so she could scrub in on a cool spine surgery. Izzie protests that no, she donated the money because poor spinegirl is miserable, and she wanted to help. Trouble is that Bailey was hoping Izzie had spent it simply so she could scrub in. She insists that Izzie must decide whether she's a real surgeon or someone who gets emotionally involved—the two are mutually exclusive, so Izzie is officially not allowed to scrub in. ZING!!

After a requisite Space Needle flyby, we make a welcome return journey to the ever-popular SGH quasi-outdoor cafeteria. Dr. Torres pulls up at a table with Dr. Montgomery and babbles about how George kissed her during their urine-soaked revelry in Mr. O'Malley's room the previous day. Callie keeps talking and talking as Addison just stares blankly, listening to nothing whatsoever. This must be what evenings at the Ford-Flockhart household are like.

Then, Montgomery suddenly blurts out that she aborted Dr. Sloan's baby. EGGHHH. She confesses that she got pregnant with Sloan a while back but, despite Sloan's giddiness about fatherhood, decided to get an abortion. The baby's due date would've been, well... today! Oh great, a CAPRICORN. That baby would've been an asshole. Anyway, Montgomery tells La Torrecita that she did want a baby—but only a Derek Shepherd Limited Edition McBaby® and not some cheap Mark Sloan generic knockoff. She gets teary and says she feels like her life has gone nowhere. They share a nice, quasilesbian emotional moment, but no body fluids are exchanged. Actually, this is a nice scene.