In the kitchen, Izzie's $8.7 quadrillion check falls on the floor as George closes the refrigerator door. He implores her to deposit the check immediately, saying that its presence ruins his mornings as reliably as that tramp Ann Curry. Izzie tries to change the subject, then goes into the den to drop some acid and play with her Nerf Crotch Bat.

At the hospital, the interns are dying to know whether Dr. Burke's hand is better. Cristina informs everyone that she and Burke aren't speaking, so she has no idea how the hell his hand is doing. Upsettingly, as the interns enter Mr. O'Malley's room, we see that the entire extended O'Malley clan, from Grandpa Seamus to lame old Aunt Gertie, are shitfaced, cheering, and inexplicably decked out in party hats.

It's a St. Patrick's Day nightmare!

George presents his dad's case for the day, using lots of big words. This impresses the assembled Celtic hordes, as the O'Malleys all cheer lustily. Bailey then ushers all the extended family outside, at which point Mr. O'Malley explains that the party hats were meant to celebrate the last day before his surgery, because his post-surgery chemotherapy might, well, put him in a mood not to wear party hats.

Bailey and Webber warn Mr. O'Malley that the surgery may not be smooth sailing: they have no idea how much his cancer has spread, and if it has indeed spread widely, chemo isn't really an option. Hmmm, it's like an hour before surgery and they're just now explaining this to him? GET WITH THE PROGRAM, MIRANDA.

The next patient is some girl who comes stumbling out of the bathroom, bent full over at the waist like she's Marilyn Musgrave robbing the graves of our troops. The girl has what might be described as scoliosis to the tenth power, with a spinal column shaped like fusilli pasta. Izzie informs everyone that this is called "VATER syndrome" because it affects the Vertebrae, Anus, Trachea, Esophagus, and let's not forget Renal system! This disease is like GODDAMN MEGAMILLIONS for the Grey's Anatomy writers. Anyway this girl is in the hospital to have a few ribs removed, or some such foolishness.

Darth Goiter turns out to be a very angry, bitter young woman. She mocks Izzie and responds with hostility to Dr. Torres, who's fairly drooling at the prospect of trying a more radical procedure on the girl. Basically, the girl just wants them to fix her spine enough so she can get laaaaaaid. Whatever lady, just get some Botox and wax your cooter and you'll be all set.

Meredith, meanwhile, presents the case of her half-sister, who you may recall is recovering from an emergency C-section after delivering a baby that had some manner of circulatory or digestive or urinary problem of some sort. Midway through this, Meredith's dad, Thatcher, walks in, having arrived at the hospital to check on his newborn grandchild. He and Meredith have a horrifically awkward moment, so he leaves nervously.

Dr. Bailey decides to assign Meredith to Mr. O'Malley's case and gives George an extra day off so he can spend time with his family. George thanks Bailey and implores her to be completely honest with him about his father's condition as things progress. She assures him that she will—which of course means she'll probably either start lying or be forced to lie within ten minutes or so.

Izzie begs Bailey to be allowed to scrub in on the spinetastic girl's surgery, but Bailey refuses, because Izzie still hasn't deposited Denny's inheritance check as the hospital psychiatrist has requested. Not only is Izzie refusing to heed the doctor's orders, she's also losing thousands of dollars a day in interest! Who knew Bailey was such a crack financial planner? Is she with Charles Schwab?