Young lady, you are NOT too big to shake.

Candlewick Inn library lounge, morning. Creepy Madison tells her mother Trish's Sister that Grizzled Local Cop didn't hurt her during their "game", which involved Madsy waiting for Abby to rescue her. The promised prize? The return of her father, Kinky Ginger. Isn't that neato keen, Mummy? I love how this kid is alternately precocious and moronic, depending on the needs of the scene. They should have made Madison twins, one savvy and perverse and one a big tard. Like Alexis and David Arquette. TS doesn't tell M that Ginger was found harpooned to a dead tree and instead shoots Abby a covert dirty look as she sits at the bar alone, looking vaguely disturbed.

Who invited Aunt Flo?

Candlewick solarium. Townie shows Henry the late Widow Beef Wellington, sitting in a pool of blood in the chair she's been stabbed through. Townie says he doesn't know when it happened-- she was warm when he found her. TMI, Townie! I'm kidding. If he copped a feel, he unfortunately did it off-camera.

Candlewick library lounge. Braids, Spiky Hair, and Trish chat at the bar. How could GLC have snatched a child?! Maybe he found out Abby was John Wakefield's daughter and snapped. Fish Hunk advises an adjacent Abby to ignore the gossiping. Abby expresses to FH how impossible she thinks it is that her (step?)dad GLC is a dangerously unhinged kidnapper and murderer. Also, GLC spent the night in the clinic with a severe puncture-wound from the forest booby-trap. Henry appears and asks if FH can take everyone to Seattle on his boat. FH says yes. He'll go get "some gas". Henry tells them all to take only what they need-- they're leaving now. FH and Townie exit. Henry says the WBW is dead in the sun room. Not much reaction, especially from Trish. If someone would just knock off TS and Madsy, it'd make things loads simpler when they read Beef Wellington's will. Henry tells Braids and Spiky to go get Bosomy Redhead Hotel Manager. They can pick up GLC, Preppy Blonde Snot and Slutty Blonde Bitch on the way to the marina.

Ext. Harper's Island coast. A seaplane carries State Policeguy and State Policegirl toward the island. Policegirl has a perp-folder on Goth Guy and rattles off some GG stats : 23 (yeah, me, too!), history of mental illness, nuthouse alum 2004, no criminal record. Why would this kid kill a real-estate tycoon like BW? Now I'm a recap artist, not a criminologist, but maybe the insanity has something to do with it, chiquita! Her partner is more interested in the whales frolicking below them. Policegirl is new on the job. That explains her enthusiasm... and the stupid mistakes she'll surely soon be making, resulting in her victimhood.

Hey, Sarge-- after the trial can my nephew have this?

What's a head-spade? Policegirl asks, perusing a gory crime-scene photo of BW's splattered head. Policeguy tells her it's used to decapitate whales. Hey! How'd he know about Fat Party Animal? He adds that Wakefield used one during his killing spree "six or seven years ago". It's seven. Learn your craft! Policegirl wonders if the spadings could be connected. Wow, she's a regular Olivia Benson. But Policeguy says nah, Wakefield's dead.

Harper's Island clinic. Rifles at the ready, Abby and Henry enter the clinic, encountering Slutty and Preppy who, remarkably, are dressed, but no GLC. They tell an alarmed Henry and Abby the sheriff slipped out during the night with his oxygen tank while they were "sleeping".

VPL under a jumpsuit-- that'd be the REAL crime.

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Posted in Harper's Island by Leia LaBiblia at 7:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Last Comment: Snootchy Bootches on Jun 22, 2009 11:32 AM.