Candlewick Inn grounds, morning. Henry finds Trish traipsing around the gardens and reminds her how she got trashed on mojitos last night, fell in the pool and almost drowned. Maybe she should take it easy instead of all this stressful manicured-lawn-pacing. Nonsense, Trish says. She has oodles to do today. Henry flags down her passing dad Beef Wellington and asks him to tell her to take it easy. BW agrees and escorts Trish off someplace.

Fish Hunk's living room. Abby awakens fully dressed on the couch to some loud knocking. She answers to her dad Grizzled Local Cop, who's even more shocked to find her here than we are that she didn't bone Fish Hunk. She tells him it's not what he-- then makes things way worse by telling him FH is in the shower.

I know what I'm having for breakfast.

Our prayers to Satan are answered when in strides FH, clad in a purple towel cinched an inch and a half below his navel, armpits and treasure trail glistening dewily. As Abby squirms/denies, FH makes a rakish comment about their wild night. FH, totes inappropes! Then with an easy natural charm to match his delectably natural bod, FH says he and Abby will meet GLC at Pepper's. whatWhatWHAT?!? FH and GLC have plans? Don't be so surprised, A. We found out last week FH's "girlfriend" was an old bat, and your dad's been a lonely widower for nigh on seven years. Kidding, Gasmii-- FH is as straight as I am.

Massacre Woods. Trish and BW enjoy a father/daughter mountain-bike ride. Trish sees a white critter scampering through the forest. That looks like Purse-Dog! Didn't Soror-Whore 1 "have to leave" the island? BW asks, finally addressing an issue that's been annoying all of us for two weeks. Yes, she did, Trish confirms, without explaining why. But she mentions SW1's boyfriend, who will be arriving soon. As they decide it couldn't possibly be Purse-Dog-- what with SW1 "having to leave" and all-- they bike over a trip wire, causing a huge log to come swinging toward them. It hits Trish's bike and she and BW crash off the path, lying still. Main Titles.

Got wood?

BW and Trish stir, banged up and unsure what happened. Trish's cell phone is smashed. BW helps her to her feet and they hobble off past a No Trespassing sign.

Ext. Candlewick Inn. Goth Guy is in his Converses on the steps where he's joined by his sociopathic niece-in-law-to-be Madison. They have a Creepy Outcast bonding moment and he asks her to help him with some mischief involving firecrackers.

I usually have to go on the internet to meet a guy THIS dreamy!

Candlewick Inn verandah. Henry is vaguely disturbed that Trish has been gone for two hours. Didn't he tell her to go?! Henry is a woman. So naturally Bosomy Redhead Hotel Manager asks him a question about table-runners: seashell or ecru? (Ecru.) They start discussing napkin holders until pops ring out-- someone's dropped firecrackers from the upper deck! Fucking kids.

Candlewick, Fat Party Animal's room. FPA has a nightmare about Hot Nerd getting shot. He jiggles awake, freaked out. The shower is running. Hoping that HN is in there cleaning his wound, FPA goes into the bathroom and yanks the curtain. It's empty. Dreadlocks appears at the door. He's looking for HN. FPA says he hasn't seen him, kicking the duffel bag of stolen cash FPA took from their late pal HN under the bed. Dreadlocks leaves HN a voicemail as FPA looks vaguely disturbed.

Show a little class. I could've been taking a dump!

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Posted in Harper's Island by Leia LaBiblia at 9:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: leia labiblia on May 15, 2009 01:57 AM.