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Trish watches him put a friendly arm around Abby then agrees with Slutty and the Soror-Whores that Abby is super-nice. And she lives in a really good part of Encino so it's OK. Slutty remarks that she doesn't think men and women can just be friends. And that's why you're a slut. Trish gets a text from Hunter Jennings: "You look lovely in blue. Meet me in the south lobby." Trish looks vaguely disturbed, then excuses herself and goes into the corridor where she runs into Hunter, a big sexy stud with manly dark eyebrows, a soupcon of stubble and lips you could park a Jag on. He immediately tries to kiss her and she resists, flustered. "I'm getting married!" "Are you sure?" Not so much.

I'm here for the bachelorette party. In your pants.

Candlewick Library. The guests drink, dine and dance. Trish with Henry. She looks vaguely disturbed. Uncle Harry with Slutty. Abby goes over to the Soror-Whores. One comes right out and asks her-- have she and Henry ever "hooked up"? Nice manners, babe! Before Abby can answer, there's Henry, making sure everyone's getting along. He wants to know if any of them have seen "J.D." Anyone who's seen a Roger Corman movie knows this means "Juvenile Delinquent", so it's no surprise he's talking about his brother Goth Guy. Abby quickly offers to go find him, thrilled to get away from the Soror-Whores before they can ask if she spits or swallows.

Cut to Trish and Trish's Sister. TS thinks Trish should tell Daddy and he'll make Hunter leave. No! Daddy will just make a big scene and embarrass Henry. Well then she has to tell Henry. Never! TS tells Trish couples shouldn't have secrets. Trish doesn't appreciate being told what to do just because TS has the perfect life. Well then why'd you come in there, for Christ's sake? TS says if Trish has any doubts about this marriage, now's the time to mention them. Actually, the time would have been before they rented out an entire island. Through light tears, Trish insists she loves Henry and is 100% doubt-free.

Cut to Candlewick Grounds. Uncle Harry spies on Beef Wellington clandestinely conversing with... wait for it.... Hunter Jennings! Hunter says Trish was surprised to see him and not in a good way, but she did agree to meet him tomorrow morning. BW is hopeful-- Trish ain't married yet. Harry slips away with this shocking information.

Cut to Abby walking down a dark road alone. She really seems to have conquered her fear of being on the same island her mom was sliced up on. She approaches The Cannery, a bar that from the outside bears an astounding resemblance to Merlotte's in True Blood. How I miss that show. Abby goes in and the deja vu keeps comin' as she trades hugs with Sookie Stackhouse, I mean, another sassy blonde waitress with kickin' tat-ta's. To be fair, there are differences. This waitress isn't telepathic, has a pierced tongue, and is NOT played by an Oscar-winner. Clearly. Pierced Tongue goes off to serve the rowdy local crowd and Abby finds Goth Guy boozing it up alone in a corner. As she approaches him, Fish Hunk calls to her from the pool table. "Hey Big City Girl, get over here. That's a pretty dress... you wearin' it for me?" With an affordable "Back In Black" soundalike raging on the juke, Abby picks up a pool cue. She tells Fish Hunk she hopes his game is better than his banter. That's pretty much a given.

Who do I have to blow to get a drink around here?

Make it a double!

Cut to Empty Candlewick Suite. Slow zoom into an untouched gift bag addressed to Cousin Ben, stuffed with what looks like Aveda products and a bottle of Pellegrino. Jesus Christ, wedding planner, live a little. Hands grab the gift card and start ripping it up. It's creepy moppet Madison. As she swipes the bag, presumably to guzzle down some of that forbidden Pellegrino, her mother calls her. Time for bed.

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Posted in Harper's Island by Leia LaBiblia at 11:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: leia labiblia on Apr 16, 2009 02:02 AM.