May 18, 2009

Hell's Kitchen: Sunergy vs. The Velvet Hammer - The Epic Battle Begins!

Okay, maybe not. But it sounds more exciting than what's actually about to happen. We've got a pretty even match this year on Hell's Kitchen. Who do you think will win? 

HK20090514a

It's not her, so you know I'm happy! 

 

Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Hell's Kitchen: Sunergy vs. The Velvet Hammer - The Epic Battle Begins!" »

May 10, 2009

Hell's Kitchen: Finale, Part the First

This week, they spend the first twelve minutes of the show recapping the entire season of Hell's Kitchen so far. TWELVE MINUTES!! I never understand this. Does anyone ever just start watching a show the episode before the finale?? Do they really think we can't remember the season we just watched?!?

HK20090507a

I'm not this guy for Chrissake! 

Well, I'm not recapping their recap. If you've forgotten anything and need a refresher, you should go back and reread my recaps.

 

SmileyCentral.com

 

Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Hell's Kitchen: Finale, Part the First" »

May 4, 2009

Hell's Kitchen: Ding Dong the Bitch is GONE!

This week on Hell's Kitchen...... WOO!!

She's gone where the goblins go, below, below, below, yo ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.

Okay, so I'm getting a little ahead of myself here, but you're all going to have to deal with it. Mmmkay?

Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Hell's Kitchen: Ding Dong the Bitch is GONE!" »

April 28, 2009

Hell's Kitchen: &%#>*^%@@$** $!!!!!!!!

This week, my brain explodes while watching Hell's Kitchen.

HK20090423a.jpg

Wonder why? No you don't. You know why. But if you want to see it all unfold, join me after the jump. Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Hell's Kitchen: &%#>*^%@@$** $!!!!!!!!" »

April 19, 2009

Hell's Kitchen: Immunity SUCKS ASS

There is some sort of bullshit going on this week in Hell's Kitchen.

Smells like poo.
Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Hell's Kitchen: Immunity SUCKS ASS" »

April 12, 2009

Hell's Kitchen: Yakety Yak. Don't Talk Back.

So we're down to the final six in Hell's Kitchen. What will this week bring us? Incredible teamwork? Amazing food? Or incompetence and whining?  Join me after the jump to find out.



It's a hot time in Hell tonight.

Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Hell's Kitchen: Yakety Yak. Don't Talk Back." »

April 5, 2009

Hell's Kitchen: Feeling Crabby

Warning! This recap has been rated AA (Anti-Andrea). You may want to skip reading this recap if you are Andrea, are related to Andrea, or for some unknown reason, LIKE Andrea. If the latter applies to you, you may also want to seek psychiatric help. Thank you.

On with the recap!

This week on Hell's Kitchen, in a shocking turn of events, Andrea is a bitch. I know, I know, I never saw it coming either.

HK20090402a.jpg

She puts the itch in Bitch

Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Hell's Kitchen: Feeling Crabby" »

March 29, 2009

Hell's Kitchen: So Long, Farewell, Auf Weidersehn, Good-Bye!

So. This past week I learned that I have been misspelling Chef Ramsay's name for the past seven episodes. Shout out to jakeinla for the heads up!

All I can say is Oops! Sorry Chef. I hope someday you will be able to forgive me.

HK20090326a.jpg

I said I was sorry for fuck's sake. What else do you want from me? GOD. What's an "a" or an "e" between friends? Get over yourself.

Anyhoo, this week, Ryan Seacrest can't control the animals in his zoo, yet again, so for the second time this season American Idol bleeds into Hell's Kitchen. Thankfully it's only about two minutes this time. But still. It's the principle, you know?

Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Hell's Kitchen: So Long, Farewell, Auf Weidersehn, Good-Bye!" »

March 23, 2009

Hell's Kitchen: A Tale of Witches, Bitches, and Snitches

This week on Hell's Kitchen, Ben sweats all over the place, PrettyGirl quits again, and Andrea is a bitch.


HK20090319a.jpg

Someone get this dude a towel immediately!

Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Hell's Kitchen: A Tale of Witches, Bitches, and Snitches" »

March 15, 2009

Hell's Kitchen: Mazel Tov!

This week on Hell's Kitchen, JP wonders who he pissed off in production, a boy becomes a man, and the thirty second rule gets put to the test.

HK20090312a.jpg

It's mine, all mine!

Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Hell's Kitchen: Mazel Tov!" »

May 18, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: Sunergy vs. The Velvet Hammer - The Epic Battle Begins!
May 10, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: Finale, Part the First
May 4, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: Ding Dong the Bitch is GONE!
April 28, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: &%#>*^%@@$** $!!!!!!!!
April 19, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: Immunity SUCKS ASS
April 12, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: Yakety Yak. Don't Talk Back.
April 5, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: Feeling Crabby
March 29, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: So Long, Farewell, Auf Weidersehn, Good-Bye!
March 23, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: A Tale of Witches, Bitches, and Snitches
March 15, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: Mazel Tov!
March 8, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: Oragami is the Great Unifier
March 1, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better. I Can Do Anything Better Than YOU.
February 22, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: Beef. It's What's For Dinner.
February 8, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: I've Got a Headache THIS BIG and It's Got Colon Written All Over It
January 31, 2009:Hell's Kitchen: Just Another Pretty Girl In That Kitchen There
July 14, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: And the Weiner Is...
July 5, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: Those Stripes Make Your Restaurant Look FAT
June 30, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: Three's Company!
June 23, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: Once Burned, Twice Shy
June 16, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: Um. What?
June 6, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: Matt Goes Bonkers
June 2, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: Recipe for Disaster
May 24, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: Super Blue!
May 19, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: Just One of the Gals!
May 11, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: Sparkle! and Glee! and Happiness!
May 2, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: If You Can't Stand the Fire, Then Get Out of Hell
April 26, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: "The Dinner Service Massacre"
April 18, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: Good Riddance, You Corpulant Redneck Boob
April 11, 2008:Hell's Kitchen: Time to Go Back to Your Dream Home
April 4, 2008:Grab Your Pots, Pans and Toilet Brush!
August 17, 2007:Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Surprise of the Century!
August 9, 2007:Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Taking Sides... Or Maybe Not
August 3, 2007:Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Mum's the Word!
July 26, 2007:Hell's Kitchen: Recap: All the Rage in Hell's Kitchen
July 20, 2007:Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Separating Chefs from DONKEYS!
July 11, 2007:Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Danger - Exploding Rock Ahead
July 6, 2007:Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Wedding Reception from Hell('s Kitchen)
June 30, 2007:Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Schooling Your Palate
June 21, 2007:Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Operation Dumpster Dive
June 13, 2007:Recap: Hell's Kitchen: If You Teach a Man to Fish...
June 7, 2007:Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Welcome BACK to Hell!
August 15, 2006:Winner of Hell's Kitchen Revealed!
August 9, 2006:Listen All Y'all It's A Sabotage!
August 1, 2006:Decisions, Decisions...
July 25, 2006:Et Tu, K-Grease?
:HK2's Reality Double Take
July 19, 2006:Gordon Tastes Virginia's Huge Breasts
July 13, 2006:Gordon Ramsay Topless Scandal!
July 11, 2006:Welcome to Donkey's Kitchen
:The TVgasm Tour of Los Angeles
June 27, 2006:Something Wicked This Way Comes...
:Gordon Ramsay Hot Dog Scandal!
June 20, 2006:Gordon Takes Us To The Donkey Show
June 14, 2006:Larry Tingles and Gordon Rides Veronica
June 13, 2006:He's Baaack...
April 23, 2006:Is This Really Fair?
August 2, 2005:Goodbye Hell's Kitchen, Hello D-List
:Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen
July 26, 2005:Gordon Is Happy. So F@*!#ING Happy.
July 19, 2005:It Must Have Been Love
July 14, 2005:Halibut's Kitchen
July 1, 2005:Maybe They Should Stick to Pasta Roni
June 21, 2005:You Got Served!
June 15, 2005:Supermarket Sweep
June 7, 2005:It's Getting Hot In Here
May 31, 2005:Hell Is Heaven