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This was a crazy week on Hell's Kitchen, and I'm sure that it shall live on in reality tv infamy for many years to come. Not only did Cringing Matt have a total breakdown, but we got to deal with a group of finicky teenagers, an overly Botoxed mom and a twinkling party planner from a different planet. So much ground to cover, and so little time. Let's get started, shall we?
Last week's episode of Hell's Kitchen was certainly one for the archives as we watched a "professional chef" (Craig) flub up spaghetti! And I thought that pasta was impossible -- or imPASTAble -- to mess up. Each week, we continue to reach new lows.
This week on Hell's Kitchen, it's kid's night! So the culinary warriors have the complicated duty of preparing fine delicacies such as pasta, onion rings and hamburgers. It should be easy, right?
This episode of Hell's Kitchen marked one of the happiest moments of my recapping career and perhaps even life. Because this week, Fatso falls on his ass -- both literally and figuratively. Yay! Christmas is saved! Now let's get on to this fabulous episode, shall we?
In honor of this week's fallen culinary warrior on Hell's Kitchen, I took it upon myself to do a little research about that loveable American doll that we call the Barbie. Fun Fact #1: Her full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. Do they actually make people named "Millicent" anymore? Sounds like a fat girl name.
Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Hell's Kitchen: Time to Go Back to Your Dream Home" »After six months of sleeping, the beast has reawakened, and it's time for another season of Hell's Kitchen!
This is the only show on television where there is so much cursing that you actually start to believe that everyone's face is naturally just one big pixelated mess. And I love every tempered minuted of it!
The End!
So tonight actually is the finale of Hell's Kitchen Season 3, thank goodness. I've learned a lot this season, including how to make bloody risotto, what turbot is, and that you shouldn't take food out of the garbage and serve it - wait, I already knew that. I am still fuzzy on the difference between flan and crème brûlée, so if you know, please enlighten me. (Donna Martin Graduates?) Chez Honey Gangsta still has a limited menu, but it used to have no menu at all, so I would call that progress, yes? All right, let's see how this ends up, as if there is any question. Please join me now for our Grand Finale...
Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Surprise of the Century!" »
Is this a reality show or Sophie's Choice?
Okay, so let's start by admitting the obvious: I was grossly mistaken in thinking that tonight's episode was the Hell's Kitchen season finale. I didn't think that there was anywhere else to go after eliminating down to two finalists, but I was dead wrong. There is one final place for us to go before the finale and that place is - the stalling zone. Yes, my friends, we have been shuffled expediently into that boundless, meaningless, useless, advertiser-friendly space known as the stalling zone. They're putting us off, guys! And they're doing it very sneakily and behind our backs... recaps, looks at past season winners, last-minute trips to Vegas... filler! If they think they can dupe me into watching long enough for me to start rooting for one of the finalists, well... let's see what happens, shall we?
Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Taking Sides... Or Maybe Not" »
The Final Three in all their lunacy
So I got really close to actually cooking something for Chez Honey Gangsta this week, but unfortunately, the dish only made it to the boundaries of my mind. I did think hard about it though - and it might just happen before next week's recap. RamJam is having a positive effect on me after all! If only I could cook telepathically while fast-forwarding through So You Think You Can Dance. Ooh, and dance telepathically. I'd get a great workout followed by a great meal and all without leaving the couch! But I digress. The important thing here is that this week on Hell's Kitchen we go from three to two with a little maternal nudge to help us through it.
Continue reading "Hell's Kitchen: Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Mum's the Word!" »
"Doughnuts OUT!"
Wow - this week on Hell's Kitchen we learn about trendsetters. Chef RamJam introduces us to some Los Angeles trendsetters and then we spend some time with our very own setters of trend. First there is Bonnie, who leads us in the fad of making dumb mistakes and crying. Next is Josh, who shows us that having a functioning brain is highly overrated and it's hip to be stupid. Jen illustrates that it is very helpful and productive to antagonize and argue with bullies, and Rock demonstrates just how popular it is to be mean, insulting, and self-righteous. Julia continues setting the trend of hanging in there and always acting dignified - imagine that. Finally, Chef Ramsay begins a new rage by calling someone a doughnut. Here we go, so get ready to get cool!