The guests start fawning all over a gloppy chocolate fountain when Francisco forgets that he's not a guest and sticks a skewer into it. He tells Jean-Philippe that he should try the chocolate, and J.P. gets all confused. He is mortified that Franny tried the chocolate and pulls him away. J.P. says that Fran cannot eat with them. And Fran retorts saying that he's the party planner. And it's all about glee and sparkling and happiness. J.P. says that if it happens again, then he'll be thrown out. But Fran goes for one more banana behind J.P.'s back and drops it into the chocolate.
Now both kitchens have moved onto desserts, which everyone loves. Both sides have pulled it together and completed dinner service. Phew!
Gordo asks Melissa and her mother if they had a good time. Mel says that it was great and she'll never forget it. He then says that there's another surprise for them waiting outside. I am hoping that it's the creepy petting zoo from the kids' night, but I fear that it's not.
Melissa and her guests excitedly scuttle outside where there is a stage set up and the Pink Spiders will be playing. Apparently this is Melissa's favorite band, but I've never heard of them. They don't sound that bad to me. It's just the typical guys in skinny jeans, skinny ties and greasy, messy hair. You know, the type of look that says, "This is the way a punk band is supposed to look, so we'll look that way."
Back in the kitchen, Rams has comment cards from the teenage guests. 98% of the men's guests said they'd come back. But 99% of the women's guests said they'd come back! The ladies celebrate, but it's too soon. Chef says that he can't choose a losing team because it was too close. Matt pipes up and says, "Thank you for your generosity, Chef." Lame. Suck-up. Luckily Chef sees through it and snaps, "Fuck generosity, Matt." Or at least, that's what I think he said underneath the bleeps.
Both teams will choose one person for elimination. Instead of going to discuss who they'll pick, Matt storms back to his room and starts packing his bags and throwing a Matt-sized fit. All the men make fun of him and his lame generosity comment behind his back. The General says that he always manages to open his mouth at the exact wrong time.
For the women, they all want Shayna gone because she is slow or Rosann because, I'm sorry, but she just kinda sucks.
At elimination, the men choose Matt. And the ladies choose Shayna. Chef asks Christina who she would personally nominate, and she says Rosann. Rosann sent an undercooked steak to the birthday girl herself. So Chef calls Matt, Shanya and Rosann to all step forward.
Shayna says that she should stay because she left her three-month old child behind, which means that she really wants this really bad. Rosann is also there for her daughter to give her a better life.
And whoa. Here comes the tirade.
Matt is beet red and fuming. He says that he should stay because he was pushed and bullied off his station. Chef says that he hides behind the General. Then Matt says that it's Ben who hides behind the General. Chef says that he doesn't buy it. Matt's 250 pounds. He shouldn't be pushed around. T.B.'s balls are bigger than his! Matt says that he doesn't even have a voice because no one listens to him. Then he says that if he's put in the Red Kitchen, his absence will be noticeable in the Blue Kitchen. All the women look at each other like, "Oh crap!" Because they don't need that dead weight either!
Chef tells Matt to get back in line. Shayna will be leaving. He says that she's a solid cook but just a little too slow. And it's obvious that her heart is at home with her baby. Shayna says that she's not happy to go home but is confident in her skills and is sure she'll still succeed.
Then comes the major announcement that we've all been waiting for. The mystery cook who will be joining the girls is none other than CRINGING MATT! Ben says that the girls better watch out because they don't even know what they've inherited. Wow, this is going to be really interesting!!! I almost can't wait.
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Comments (15)
I first anticipated from the previous week that we would see Julia returning.
Seriously, are any of these guys likable? They're all attitude, no ability. Even G-Ram knows that they all suck.
And someone really needs to smack the shit out of Corey.
1 of 15 | Posted by you you you | Posted on May 11, 2008 12:23 PM
All I gotta say is that Corey is one delusional, egotistical, condesceding beeotch!!! Hate her!!
Great recap! :)
2 of 15 | Posted by jojobear | Posted on May 11, 2008 4:41 PM
Great recap.
I can't believe that dumbass Matt made it through yet ANOTHER round. His face is enough to keep me in a perpetual pissed off state every single week. He's a worthless sack of skin and the women are really in for a helluva horrible time with that clown cringing in their kitchen.
It's a pity about Shayna. She was finally starting to make herself known on the show, only to be cast off...meanwhile, Rosann and her "cooking skills" have made it yet another week. What with RamJam cooking for her and all?!?! I would've packed her bags for her myself!
3 of 15 | Posted by jaded | Posted on May 11, 2008 5:15 PM
Fabulous recap, as usual :).
On to the evil:
Corey is annoying and thikns she's hot shit. Toilet Brush is GAY that's why he was all Asian beaver face (anyone else think that was really inappropriate, that would be like me, a black chick, saying "No massa, I dun wanna get in the hot tub with ya") and refusing to get in the tub with her.
The Beneral is irritating but at least they actually cook stuff and get it out on time-ish. They actually seem to want to WIN and know that it takes moving your ass to do it.
Shayna is slow, yes, but it has nothing to do with her being overweight (jackass Corey). You could be 500 pounds and chop vegetables quickly. Mario Batali (my absolute fav Iron Chef and overall sweetheart) is a big fella but he gets around the kitchen on Iron Chef. Shut your face, Corey. I bet she's just pissed because she couldn't get into modeling or some other dumb shit.
Petrozza is just here because he never really screws up worse than anyone else.
Rosann can't cook meat properly. I don't know what she was doing but omg. I can cook steak better than her and I've literally burned a pan trying to boil water (don't ask).
4 of 15 | Posted by PixieGal262 | Posted on May 11, 2008 8:40 PM
Christina: Shut your ugly, Whoface. She looks like a child and acts like a child. "I can read a book"???? So can a four year old, dumbass.
Cringing Matt...og Cringing Matt. I can't even look at his face without wanting to punch him. He was definitely the fat kid at school. He has a very soft voice that doesn't carry so everything he says sounds like he's about to cry when he says it. He's the uncool person who thinks he's cool. He is delusional. He thinks the Beneral is the reason the blue team was going down? Now he's gonna eff up the chicks with his very special brand of dumbassery.
By the way, he totally looks like Jake Gyllenhall's ugly uncle (and I totally imdb'd him to find out just how you spell his last name).
5 of 15 | Posted by PixieGal262 | Posted on May 11, 2008 8:47 PM
Ok, two things here...first, what happend to the chef that was returning?
Second, when Fransico was introducing the queen of the day, did anyone else think it was going to be J. Phillipe?
:)
6 of 15 | Posted by Pappy | Posted on May 12, 2008 10:09 AM
Just an observation, but doesn't Matt look like he's smelling a fart each time we see him cringing (which is each time we see him)? That guy is a real douche.
Corey sure likes herself, doesn't she? :) Pathetic.
I was REALLY hoping for a Julia return, myself. Bring her back, G-Ram! She can win this whole thing!!
7 of 15 | Posted by marksangel | Posted on May 12, 2008 10:15 AM
Just an observation, but doesn't Matt look like he's smelling a fart each time we see him cringing (which is each time we see him)? That guy is a real douche.
Corey sure likes herself, doesn't she? :) Pathetic.
I was REALLY hoping for a Julia return, myself. Bring her back, G-Ram! She can win this whole thing!!
8 of 15 | Posted by marksangel | Posted on May 12, 2008 10:17 AM
So many rants, I don't know where to begin, but here goes.
First, the party planner. Wasn't that the same actor who was the wedding planner last year? And how many times does Ramsey say "for the first time ever in Hell's Kitchen...."
Matt: Not since Josh last season have I seen someone so incompetent survive week after week. He is horrible. Two weeks in a row he sends out raw food. He can't last long.
Mystery chef: If Matt is the mystery chef joining the girls, why did FOX show a promo showing someone behind a closed door about to enter the kitchen?
Elimination: How bad is this group? The two people that stayed served raw fish and raw steak. One week, I'd like Ramsey to send multiple chefs packing. Of course, FOX couldn't stretch this out to Labor Day that way.
9 of 15 | Posted by belmont | Posted on May 12, 2008 2:30 PM
Okay, I could have sworn I saw a wedding ring on Matt's hand.
If he is married, then whoever this woman is, my god, you are my hero. If I had to look at that cringing face day in and day out, I would probably lose it.
10 of 15 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on May 12, 2008 4:01 PM
Cringing Matt = Human form of Burt from Sesame Street
11 of 15 | Posted by keelaurow | Posted on May 12, 2008 5:14 PM
Great recap! Where DID they get this group of "chefs" this year? Seriously, I'm not sure I'd let a one of them work in my kitchen, much less run it! Makes me feel less bad for them when GR hollers at them.
Corey and the Beneral have seriously cocky attitudes without a whole lot to show for it, other than being less incompetent than the competition which is an extremely low bar! And don't even get me started on the Amazing Cringer himself!
And sorry to say, but the "Sexy Men of Hell's Kitchen" calendar might have to lose a few months. Or 12. "Sexy Men of Top Chef" would be a lot easier to publish...
12 of 15 | Posted by ChicagoGal | Posted on May 13, 2008 9:27 AM
Sorry, but this is driving me crazy and I've seen it more than once here.
The phrase is "take the REINS." As in reins on a horse's bridle, to control the animal.
Reigns = what a King or Queen does over subjects (rules).
Reins = Straps of leather that control a 1200-pound prey animal that can run fast, and kick and bite hard. "Dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle" - David Niven
13 of 15 | Posted by killbondnow | Posted on May 13, 2008 1:04 PM
--And sorry to say, but the "Sexy Men of Hell's Kitchen" calendar might have to lose a few months. Or 12.--
Unless they just alternate months between Gordon and Jean-Philippe. God, I love that Belgian waffle!
14 of 15 | Posted by coolbyrne | Posted on May 16, 2008 4:00 PM
Thankyou, killbondnow, for your astute correction.
Seriously.
I cannot be the only trainspotter on this site (not something I am particularly proud of, as "nobody likes a know-it-all" echoes in my ears).
I frequently have to quell the urge to correct people, but then I often also wonder, surely people rather get something right than continue to display their ignorance?
~~~
MandaMo, I can't remember if I said this previously, but you officially ROCK! Hilarious recap, doll!
15 of 15 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on May 17, 2008 4:23 AM