Last week we were treated to two entire back to back episodes of Hell's Kitchen so I decided to something different here and just cover then both in one recap. Besides, I'm lazy and I still have 2 hours of DWTS to do so it just makes sense. Let's see what the Chefabes are up to in Part One.

Last week Corpseface was sent packing and Suzbland was sent to the Blue Team. Cueball wants her gone immediately. In fact he sits her down and tells her point blank "we don't like your attitude and we don't like you." Instead of getting up and punching him in his shiny ass tater she just yes's and I'll try to be good please don't spank. Ugh.

Cueball keeps yapping about how they will rub her her out like they've rubbed out all the weak ones.

Over on the Red Team WhoopiG is nervous since they only have 3 people now. Ariel says Sabrina is a disaster and WhoopiG tells Sabrina she better bring out her inner demons.
Downstairs they all go and they are greeted by Chef Scott. He tells them Gordon would like to speak to them. And a screen drops from the ceiling with Gordon's bright face on it.

He tells them that he is in Whistler and that since this winter they will be hosting the Alpine skiing events for the 2010 Winter Olympics people from all over the world will be eating at his restaurant the Araxi. Voted restaurant of the year 9 years in a row. He explains that one of them will be working there.

He continues by telling the chefabes that like most of his restaurants they rely on local ingredients. He has had 15 ingredients flown in for them to chose from and make a meal. Heather and Scott bring a tray out for each team. Gordon tells them each team will have to make 3 entree's, using all 15 ingredients yet never using one twice. He will be flying back in with some special guests for tasting.
As the girls start trying to figure out what to cook, Sabrina is making suggestions yet she is being ignored. Over on the Blue Team the same thing is happening to Suzbland.
Back over to the Red Team WhoopiG and Ariel decide the lamb would go well with cranberries. Only one problem. That's not lamb.

Sabrina of course is tickled shitless and has absolutely no inclination to splain to them that that is venison, not lamb. Every time they call it lamb, Sabrina giggles.

The Blue Team seems to working well together and then Heather starts counting down the time. Here's Gordon. And he has guests.


Impressiveness all around. Up first is Cueball and Ariel. Cueball has a Carmalized Salmon and a Pan Seared Leg of Lamb.

Ariel has Grilled Salmon, Melted Leeks and Grilled Shrimp.

Gordon thinks the sauce on the Red Team was too rich and the leeks to heavy. Sasha and Johnny both choose Blue Team.
Second Entree. WhoopiG and One Armed Wonder.
WhoopiG has "A magnificent LAMB." Hahahaha Gordon yells "What?"

WhoopiG continues to struggle with what the hell she has cooked "UH I uh they well uh I."
Finally she says "Initially I thought it was lamb but it looks like its...." She leans over and announces it's venison. Gordon looks over to Ariel and asks what it is. Ariel says "It's venison Chef." Like she knew the whole time.

So then Ariel carries the lie further and says that since they work with lamb every day WhoopiG just got confused for a second. LOL.
Over to Dave who has a Rack of VENISON with a Cranberry Sauce.

Johnny thinks the sauce is kinda scary looking. Sasha thinks the Red Teams kale was very good. They both choose Red tying the score at 2-2.

Up next is Sabrina and VanDipDong. Sabrina has LAMB with a Mushroom Something and Jerusalem Artichokes.

Gordon asks VanBrainDead "What is that contraption?"

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Comments (8)
I don't blame Van for getting tongue tied during the challenge. If I waas that close to Sasha Cohen, I'd forget basic language skills too!
1 of 8 | Posted by FreewayShark | Posted on September 29, 2009 6:01 PM
Great recap Cherie!
Imagine how funny the "taste off" could have been if it was with Sasha BARON Cohen instead!!!
Especially if he was in character of Jean Girard from Talladega Nights.
heehee :D
2 of 8 | Posted by knackered | Posted on September 29, 2009 7:45 PM
"Oh settle down Frances" is going to have me laughing all day. Thanks Cherie, great recap.
3 of 8 | Posted by Bremm | Posted on September 30, 2009 8:25 AM
Ugh I am so over this show!! Maybe I am spoiled by Top Chef but I would never want to eat in a restaurant where any of these "chefabes" worked. Chef Ramsay needs to take a break with this show, it's gonna give him high blood pressure and a hernia.
I guess Ariel, Cueball, One Armed Wonder look the best so far.
4 of 8 | Posted by Yanksfan24 | Posted on September 30, 2009 10:23 AM
Cherie, great recap! Thanks for the page one photo of (looking over shoulder to see if Potty Mouth is reading) Scott...
Van DipShit was past his expiration date. Maybe he is a good cook back home, but he was a bit of an eejit on this show. As a chef who works with fish daily, it is incomprehensible to me how he could CONTINUALLY eff up the fish. Even I, Queen of the Micro, can cook fish...
Suzbland just got more delusional as the season progressed. Her conviction at the lunch that she was the next Christina was pathetically hysterical. With fewer chefs in the kitchen, her shortcomings have become more apparent. And a good leader needs to inspire, which is hard to do when everyone hates/ignores you. It was interesting how Dave had to shush her from crowing at their win. Seems like she just doesn't get it - that sort of behavior is offensive to the losers.
Whoopi is still cracking me up. The yelling annoys, but she has come on really strong and can be quite entertaining. Doubt she will go all the way, tho.
Dave and Kevin look strong, and Ariel better get her shit together - soon.
Anyway, thanks for the laughs - I needed them today! Hugs - xox
5 of 8 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on September 30, 2009 10:34 AM
I was thinking to myself if I had been there and ordered the porterhouse it would've been mine and all mine and if my "other half" tried to reach over to get some he would've been stabbed in the back of his hand with my fork. Anyway, great recap Cherie, "taint" is one of my favorite words for some reason and when I read it I giggleg so hard I peed in my pants a bit. Thank God I'm at home lol.
6 of 8 | Posted by kittkatt | Posted on September 30, 2009 11:38 AM
Cherie, awesome recap! I especially LOVE the front page pic of hottie Scottie. Guess who keeps scrolling down the page??? No, not me, it's njgasmifan! I sawed her!
I love your screencaps so much! For some reason "Lamb, spam, ham, whatever" sent me into a fit of giggles. I don't know why.
Anyway, thanks for another great recap and giving me several cases of the giggles!
SWAK, PottyMouth
7 of 8 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on September 30, 2009 4:47 PM
Great recap. I, too, am still enjoying Whoopie and her shouty sass. I am surprised you haven't once mentioned how much the One Armed Bandit drones when he talks. (Perhaps you have...)
My vote -- it will be Whoopie vs One Armed Bandit Droner.
8 of 8 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on October 3, 2009 10:58 PM