This week on Hell's Kitchen, it's kid's night! So the culinary warriors have the complicated duty of preparing fine delicacies such as pasta, onion rings and hamburgers. It should be easy, right?
After last week's elimination, Chef Ramsay is furious with the chefs for showing him the worst dinner service in the history of the show. The men nervously laugh it off, and as usual the ladies cry. Vanessa is still feeling like part of her died and simply cannot shake her raw beef failure.
As the chefs lounge around, puffing away, trying to relax, Rams' voice comes over the P.A. system and tells them to get downstairs and clean the kitchen.
Corey, per usual, is a jerk and starts bossing everyone around. She says that she's too tired to clean, so everyone else needs to hurry up and get it done. She lazily watches as the broom slides down the fridge and falls to the ground, then shrugs and doesn't bother to pick it up.
After complaining about the other girls, Corey storms upstairs to go to sleep without doing anything to help. It's enough to even rile up this season's very own Silent Bob: Shayna, who thinks that Corey is a lazy jerk.
The next morning, all the contestants line up in the kitchen and Gordo asks who is the strongest member on the Red Team. Corey automatically raises her hand high, but the rest of the members ignore her and say it's Jen. This actually really surprises me. I kind of thought that Christina seemed like the strongest. But I guess maybe there is more to Jen than just a loud mouth in a bandana.
Gordon then asks why it's not Corey, and Shayna is still feeling vocal and snitches on Corey's early bed time the night before. Corey blows it off by saying everyone else is just threatened. That's right. Because you are an amazing chef AND have that hot bod! Yeah right. And my left butt check is made out of Frooty Pebbles!
Gordo then poses the same question to the men, and they all say that it's Ben. That's more predictable. It looks like Ben and Toilet Brush are probably the most consistent. Even though something about Ben's face looks like a loveable inch worm to me. Like a muppet caterpillar perhaps!
Because they've hit a new low for Hell's Kitchen, tonight will be family night with a brand new menu. The menu items are kid-friendly and so should be easy to handle. Just going with the rat theme, I think that Petrozza would make a really wonderful Chuck E. Cheese.
Gordon says that one of the staples for family night will be pasta, which Rosann knows well because she's Italiano! Fahgetaboutit! (No, I'm not making fun of her. She actually said that.) This week's challenge is to make pasta from scratch. And whoever makes the most perfect pasta in 20 minutes wins.
The men do better at cranking the pasta machine because they have more muscle power. But Jen is cranking so hard that it looks like her eyes are about to pop out of her head. Meanwhile, cringing Matt doesn't help at all. Literally. He just stands there with his arms out waiting to hold the pasta. And Craig is messing up again! Come on, man! Live up to your hat!
Before even examining the pasta, Gordon praises everyone's effort and energy. The team that weighs in with the most pasta - that is perfect to Gordon's standards - will win. The men have 1.39 pounds on one of Matt's arms. The ladies do a beautiful job and have 2.66 pounds on one of Shayna's arms. On Matt's other arm, there is 5.48 pounds. Shayna's other arm holds 6.57 pounds. And I'm really bad at math, so I have no idea what any of that means. But I guess the women win because they seem really excited.
The men will have to prep all day long for both kitchens, and the women will go celebrate their win at Santa Monica pier in a Hummer limousine. The men, again, scapegoat Craig because he stood around looking clueless during all the pasta madness.
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Comments (16)
Pet peeve based comment:
You said: "I hate when people say stuff like that anyway. There is no such thing as 125%. It's 100%. That's the max."
That's not actually true. 10 is 200% of 5. 10 is 1000% percent of 1. It is mathematically incorrect to say that 100% is the maximum percentage.
1 of 16 | Posted by Alafoss | Posted on April 26, 2008 1:57 PM
Great recap.
I'm all about seeing Craig's stupid face leave the screen once and for all! This guy was a waste of time in the kitchen. Hell, I burn water and even I can make some spaghetti!! Guess it doesn't take much to join with Hell's Kitchen.
Matt is the next guy I wanna see gone. He looks like one of the weird silent cavemen guys from Popeye cartoons. I've always hated Popeye cartoons, and therefore I hate Matt. Plus, he sucks as a chef....and probably as a human being. But I digress...
Can't wait for Tuesday's episdode!! Maybe Toilet Brush (greatest nickname ever, btw) and Corey will change the rating on this show from TV-PG to TV-14!!
2 of 16 | Posted by jaded | Posted on April 26, 2008 2:49 PM
Great recap jaded.
I am with you: I cannot STAND Cringing Matt -- perfect nickname btw. Everytime I see his cringing face I, too, cringe. And let's not forget the temper tantrum fit he threw last week -- I've seen more mature 2 year olds.
In fact, even though Craig is a weasel, I would have much rather seen Matt get the boot. I think Matt is more detrimental to the team, although both suck ass, so there you go.
I don't understand why Ramsey so dislikes Ben -- I keep waiting to see clips of Ben doing truly heinous stuff, but I have yet to see it. It seems like Chef just doesn't like that dude.
Oh, and I understand what you're saying about 100% and it bugs me too. The previous poster's example doesn't really hold water in this case. If I have a pie, and I give it to you, you now have 100% of my pie. I cannot give you 125% of it. Well, the same holds true for effort. If I work to my maximum potential, that's 100% of my effort. Period. Now, I guess I can say I'll give 125% MORE effort than the other guy, but that's not what these yahoos said, is it?
Does anyone even like any of the people on this show? I guess I like Christina a little, but she cries too much. I like toilet brush a bit, but he has yet to really stand out (or up as far as I can tell *rimshot*).
3 of 16 | Posted by zbird | Posted on April 26, 2008 5:51 PM
OOOOOPS! I meant great recap MandaMo! LOL, my bad. Oh, but Jaded I'm sure you do a fine recap too.
4 of 16 | Posted by zbird | Posted on April 26, 2008 6:00 PM
Haha, thanks for the vote of confidence, zbird. I've never done a recap in my life...but I do laugh heartily at all the others.
5 of 16 | Posted by jaded | Posted on April 26, 2008 6:40 PM
Toilet brush seems gay to me too...i'm thinking that his kissing her hair is merely a friendly gesture from a gay to his hag.
Craig was a useless turd, so glad he's gone.
Matt always looks like he's about to cry. I often want to punch him just so he will cry and i don't have to see his almost gonna cry face anymore.
And OH MAH JEEBUS I HATE the narrator. Not only is he Captain Obvious about everything, but his "accent" or whatever it is KILLS me. This man does not say kitchen like a normal person. he says "kisshen" and totally slurs his "ch"'s and oooo it bothers me. It sounds like Mandy Moore's old accent that she's mercifully worked on. I don't know where she's originally from, but people from there: you have really weird annoying accents.
Sorry about the rant. But he sounds like he has a turkey neck and during every syllable he pulls his head back. Or like he's drinking water. I dunno.
6 of 16 | Posted by Pixiegal262 | Posted on April 26, 2008 11:20 PM
I also think the voiceover guy is annoying.
As bad as Craig was, Matt should have been booted for sending out the raw chicken wings. How tough is that?
I don't think Ben or Matt will be around long.
7 of 16 | Posted by belmont | Posted on April 26, 2008 11:50 PM
Alafoss, your comment was short-sighted and incorrect. It was abundantly clear that MandaMo is referring to effort and is correct that no more than 100% of something can be given. The only time a percent greater than 100% exists is in 3rd grade math class. Since a percent is the ratio of a part of a whole (multiplied by 100), it is not physically possible to hold more than 100% of something, just like it is not possible to give more than 100%. Just like MandaMo gets annoyed when people say they'll give more than 100%, I (a math teacher, in case you didn't figure that one out) get annoyed when people try to point out other people's mistakes and being inaccurate when doing so.
With that aside, I thought the Smurf (much prefered nickname over Toilet Brush) was a total player (straight though) with a small chip of last season's Josh with his whole "make love to the food" comment in the opening episode. Going with the theme of this post, I was 99.8% sure he was straight.
8 of 16 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on April 27, 2008 5:00 AM
Alafoss, your comment was short-sighted and incorrect. It was abundantly clear that MandaMo is referring to effort and is correct that no more than 100% of something can be given. The only time a percent greater than 100% exists is in 3rd grade math class. Since a percent is the ratio of a part of a whole (multiplied by 100), it is not physically possible to hold more than 100% of something, just like it is not possible to give more than 100%. Just like MandaMo gets annoyed when people say they'll give more than 100%, I (a math teacher, in case you didn't figure that one out) get annoyed when people try to point out other people's mistakes and being inaccurate when doing so.
With that aside, I thought the Smurf (much prefered nickname over Toilet Brush) was a total player (straight though) with a small chip of last season's Josh with his whole "make love to the food" comment in the opening episode. Going with the theme of this post, I was 99.8% sure he was straight.
9 of 16 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on April 27, 2008 5:01 AM
Alafoss, your comment was short-sighted and incorrect. It was abundantly clear that MandaMo is referring to effort and is correct that no more than 100% of something can be given. The only time a percent greater than 100% exists is in 3rd grade math class. Since a percent is the ratio of a part of a whole (multiplied by 100), it is not physically possible to hold more than 100% of something, just like it is not possible to give more than 100%. Just like MandaMo gets annoyed when people say they'll give more than 100%, I (a math teacher, in case you didn't figure that one out) get annoyed when people try to point out other people's mistakes and being inaccurate when doing so.
With that aside, I thought the Smurf (much prefered nickname over Toilet Brush) was a total player (straight though) with a small chip of last season's Josh with his whole "make love to the food" comment in the opening episode. Going with the theme of this post, I was 99.8% sure he was straight.
10 of 16 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on April 27, 2008 5:03 AM
Wow, sorry about the triple post! I was either that annoyed or my computer had a hiccup...
11 of 16 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on April 27, 2008 5:05 AM
"J.P. isn't even a real person to me -- just a really odd caricature of an uptight British person."
except that he's 100% French...
never mind!
Sterling recap!
I'm with you on the whole 100% thing. I was nearly swayed by alafoss' argument, but Anon Anon Anon put me straight straight straight. Nice to hear from an expert (seriously).
I am beyond caring about this crew. I really like Smurf, tho, and my gaydar didn't go off (not that there's anything wrong with that...)
I do love Rosann -- FUGEDAHBOUDIT!
Represent, honey!!
12 of 16 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on April 28, 2008 12:07 AM
I think Cringing Matt looks like David Berkowitz. Is it just me? He's the Son of Sam!
I think Hell's Kitchen is the only show to NOT care about keepin' it Green for Earth day... rolling in their Hummer limos....
13 of 16 | Posted by MargotTenenbaum | Posted on April 28, 2008 11:34 AM
Matt IS the Son of Sam! Wow, good call!
14 of 16 | Posted by jojobear | Posted on April 29, 2008 12:38 PM
I actually really like Ben. He might have been a moron for congratulating himself and his team, but I would say that not being able to cook chicken or pasta is WAY worse when this is, you know, a COOKING show. I mean, my brother can't cook to save his life, but even HE can make pasta.
On the girls' team, I like Vanessa. I hope her hand heals properly. I also like Jen - she reminds me of Julia from last season. Just a bit louder.
I constantly have to ask myself where they get these people. A chef who can't cook pasta? I mean, come ON - nobody in the world should have to go to culinary school to learn THAT - and Craig couldn't even do it. Seriously. WTF.
15 of 16 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on April 29, 2008 3:47 PM
For the record, Jean-Philippe Susilovic is neither British NOR French. He's Belgian.
16 of 16 | Posted by coolbyrne | Posted on May 2, 2008 11:36 AM