This week on Hell's Kitchen, JP wonders who he pissed off in production, a boy becomes a man, and the thirty second rule gets put to the test.
As the teams head upstairs for their requisite bitch/smoke session, LA tells us how sad she is that they lost Colon. "We lost our spirit. She was the mom." Uh, she was also dead weight that needed to go. You're gonna miss her? Dope.
Andrea tells LA she holds no animosity whatsoever. Hmmm. We'll see about that one.
Giovanni tells her to use it as motivation, and she says it has lit a fire under her ass. That sounds painful. It's been a humbling experience for her, but it's not gonna happen again.
Meanwhile, J has built a shrine to his family in his bedroom. As he prays to them, Giovanni comes in to ask if he's ok. Gio is quite the consoler this evening, isn't he?
J is disappointed because he's never failed. Like that. Maybe the standards are just a little lower at the food court.
The next morning everyone gathers down in the dining room. Chef Ramsey tells PrettyGirl "I was slightly doubtful to begin with, but you're shining, don't stop." She assures him she will not. She is wrong.
I can only imagine how much the red team hated that. We didn't get any reaction shots, but we all know that shit irritated them but good. Ha-ha-ha.
Ramsey informs them that the next dinner service will be for a very, very special event. They will be doing a bar mitzvah. Ben is very excited. "Those are my people, Chef."
Okay Ben, since you're Jewish and all, can you explain to everyone what a bar mitzvah means? "It signifies, in the Jewish religion, Chef, a, uh, boy entering into manhood, Chef."
Coi tells us that she has catered many a bar mitzvah, and they are so much fun. "People dance, they break glasses, l'chaim, all that stuff." Sounds a lot like some of the bars I frequented in college. Except for the l'chaim part.
To give a little more insight into the bar mitzvah boy, his likes and dislikes, Ramsey has brought in two of the most important chefs in his life. Please welcome mom and grandmother, Brenda and Sally respectively. Awww, Bubbe Sally is so cute. I love Grandmas.
Ramsey thanks them for coming, and asks for favorite foods. Mom says he loves her hamburgers. Bubbe Sally says, "Chicken soup, and brisket, of course. This was his first food and he loved it."
Which, Bubbe? The burger, soup, or brisket? You know......I think I'm gonna hafta call bullshit on Bubbe. None of those sound like first foods to me. Of course, I'm just a shiksa, what do I know from Jewish first foods? Ben? A little help here?
"Little Grandma with the poofy hair, all I wanted to do was go up and give her a big hug on her smushy cheek." Ben, no one wants to hear about your thing for older women.
Each team must now create a hamburger, a brisket, and a chicken soup. Ramsey is looking for them to take those dishes to a completely new level. They have 45 minutes. Is that enough time to cook a brisket? I always thought brisket took a really long time to cook being a tougher cut of meat.
There are plenty of ingredients in the kitchen so that the chefs can create upscale versions of each dish.
Robert has the burger for the men. He knows burgers and what makes them tasty. His words, not mine.
C&A: "By having the chefs transform everyday foods into gourmet dishes, Chef Ramsey is testing their ability to innovate and to think on their feet."
Coi and LA are on the brisket, and their plan is to barbeque it. Coi knows what kids like. Well, she's not gonna say she knows what all kids like, she doesn't know all kids. And she doesn't wanna know all kids. She knows what she liked when she was thirteen. That gives me confidence.
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Comments (9)
They were on several episodes of Futarama as well. The globetrotters if they were in a league like the NBA would be considered one of the best teams of all time with about 20,000 wins. I mean their winning streak is oftentimes several thousand games.
I wonder when the comments about how Hell's Kitchen wasn't kosher will start to appear due to the red team putting cheese in with the meat. Of course not all Jews obey every little dietary requirement so it doesn't matter since the family didn't complain.
1 of 9 | Posted by yeschef | Posted on March 15, 2009 12:43 PM
Currently my favorite for next to go is Ben. Although I do say prays at night that PrettyGirl falls in a deep frying vat. But then if my prayers were really answered Danny would have long ago come down with head lice and had to have his head shaved.
2 of 9 | Posted by Snortles | Posted on March 15, 2009 3:02 PM
Darling Pottymouth,
I got so hungry reading your recap. Luvs me some brisket. I have to say that my Bubbe, who taught me to cook, is probably rolling over in her grave at the fast cooking chicken soup and brisket.
Leiben ahf dein kop!!! (It's a good thing, trust me : ) )
Thanks so much for recapping this show,
Hugs,
Yenta
BTW did you know I'm Jewish? Heh-heh
3 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on March 15, 2009 4:05 PM
Hee hee... yeah, yeschef, I was watching this at work with a Jewish co-worker, whose eyebrows went into his hairline at the beef and cheese. He doesn't keep Kosher either, but said at a bar mitzvah, you usually try not to offend. :) It was pretty funny.
Thanks for the recap, PM!
4 of 9 | Posted by teri00 | Posted on March 16, 2009 2:49 AM
PP is so over the top fake it reminds me of how produced this show is. "You thtartled me!" Please. Don't get me wrong, I love the show but little stunts like PP thrown in piss me off. Don't insult my suspension of belief too much there, Fox.
5 of 9 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on March 16, 2009 7:32 AM
PottyMouth...
Thank you for the shirtless picture of Robert. I wuv you!
love, J-Mo :)
6 of 9 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on March 16, 2009 8:09 AM
Have to agree with you, Pottymouth and Firthguy - PP was totally fake and the cake drop very scripted. But it DID result in more JP time, so I'll forgive them a bit...
Andrea's little indecision performance at the end was a bit much. I can't believe GR gave her the power to pick, since her performance was not that great. She'd better watch her back around LA from now on - that nomination was just wrong.
Just when Pretty Girl was starting to look better, it looks like she reverts to her old self this week. Ben is annoying the crap out me - and what is it with the cheftestants wanting to relive their youth - first Colon with the cheering and now Ben wants to have another Bar Mitzvah. Sheesh, enough already, grow up.
Seriously, lately I need martinis to get through THIS show - someone will owe me a liver transplant by the time the season is over.
PottyMouth - you crack me up each week. Thanks for the fantastic recap- hugs to you !oxoxoxo
7 of 9 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on March 16, 2009 8:14 AM
I love you PottyMouth! And now I too have a case of the giggles!
8 of 9 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on March 17, 2009 11:38 AM
yeschef: That's what I'm talking about! There is so much I never knew about the Harlem Globetrotters. I never knew their history was so interesting.
Snortles: I hear in the South they think everything is better deep fried. Maybe it would help her.
Yenta: Gasp! I always thought you were Eye-talian!! ;) The quick cook brisket really threw me for a loop - I thought that was one meal that really needed alot of cooking time. I equated it to me telling my Grandma I was going to make sauce in 30 minutes -she'd smack me right upside my head and call me a horse's ass!!!
teri00: Holy crap, I had a flashback to Elf while reading your comment: :You smell like beef and cheese....you sit on a throne of lies!" Hee hee.
Firthguy: I completely agree. Why do they cast someone who's so over the top? Flamboyance is one thing, but I only like cheese in my food.
J-Mo: Glad to oblige. And I wuv you too!
njgasmifan: Andrea irritated the piss out of me this week. It was so obvious that she nominated LA as payback and for strategy. I would donate part of my liver to you, but I believe it may be pickled before the season ends!
Cherie: The feeling is mutual. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Thanks to all of you. You make it all the more fun to recap this show. Thanks for reading and sharing your comments!
SWAK, PottyMouth
9 of 9 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on March 18, 2009 6:04 AM