This is one of the funniest episodes I have ever watched of Hell's Kitchen as Cringing Matt's very last marble finally plunked on the floor. And I realized that I would be TERRIFIED to be stuck in the dorms with him. Why? Because he dramatically sharpens knives while staring people down, that's why! In other predictable Hell's news, we also had a couple fires and many plates of uncooked beef. So no surprises there.
After elimination, the teams go back to the house, and Corey and Christina instantly start talking about how they do not want Jen back on their team. But more than that, they are shocked that Petrozza sent the Toilet Brush home. They both thought he'd be there to the end as did the rest of the world.
The General and Petrozza feel similarly about Matt as the ladies do about Jen. Petrozza says that Matt keeps "hanging around like a hemorrhoid." I love that Petrozza is on this show. Seriously, he comes up with better one-liners than I could ever dream of formulating. I hope he sticks around until the end.
At 6 a.m., the phone rings and Corey answers it in a nasty, dirty robe. The chefs are told to get moving NOW. The Hell's Kitchen van is waiting for them outside along with six sets of blindfolds. They are blindfolded and taken to a secret location at the top of a building where they are met by a firing squad. Okay, not really. But wouldn't that be a dramatic -- and oddly satisfying -- end to this torturous season?
Gordon tells them to take off the blindfolds. It's so bright that they're eyes have issues adjusting to the sun. The General says that it looks like Rammers is levitating. The General really needs to lay off that LSD. The second you think Gordon is flying, is the second that you should know you have a problem. Gordo tells them that they are standing on top of the roof of what will be the new London West Hollywood where one of them will become the new executive chef.
They all have silver platters with domes in front of them. They lift the domes to find new, black outfits. There is no more blue team and no more red team. They are now one kitchen. Matt enthusiastically reaches out to give Corey a five, obviously excited to be on Team Corey again. Corey relunctantly fives him, touching him as if he has the plague. Corey said it sucks to have Jen back and now have Matt too. Um, yeah, good luck with that!
Next, Gordon orders two Secret Service-looking men to come out. They are dressed all in black with black sunglasses and both are carrying a steal briefcase. They open the cases and reveal a quarter of a million dollars in cash. Matt tells us that he's excited to see the money, and it would have been nice to touch it or SNNNIIIIFFFFFFF!!!! He makes a big sniffing noise. What's that? Nice to touch it or roll it up and sniff cocaine out of it? He is so freakin' weird.
The team head downstairs to look at the space of the restaurant. It's still under construction, but looks enormous. And that's that. Good times.
Now the chefs are back in Hell's Kitchen for their first individual challenge. Each chef will be putting their own spin on a basic ingredient. Everyone has a secret mystery meat in front of them. Matt has veal. Christina has sea bass. The General has duck. Jen has beef. Petrozza has chicken. Corey has lobster, which totally disturbed me to see on the plate! For some reason, my first thought was that it was a scorpion because it's such a black lobster. I really don't like lobster. I know it's a delicacy, but I just can't eat anything that screams as it's boiled alive. Plus, it's such a crusty little monster. I wonder who originally thought that if you cracked that thing open, it might taste good in there. Have you guys noticed my bias against shellfish, yet?
They have 45 minutes to prepare something unique, and so they start running around like crazy, preparing their dishes.
First up is Matt with roasted veal loin. Gordo says that it's nice. Matt says that he smells victory, and it smells sweet. I must note that smelling things that aren't there is a sign of an aneurysm. I think he needs to be checked out because I see victory for him at all. And I really mean AT ALL.
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Comments (11)
Excellent recap. You should get over your aversion to shell fish- it's quite tasty when cooked right... preferably not raw.
I think Matt's behavior was so over the top in this episode that I suspect he was an actor/plant/mole added to the cast to make the show more entertaining similar to Aaron last season.
What a putz.
1 of 11 | Posted by mrmaximoto | Posted on June 6, 2008 11:38 AM
So...what happens to all those folks in the dining room who didn't get fed?
Do they give them give certificates to McDonalds and send them on their way? At least there, they know the meat will be cooked...
2 of 11 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on June 6, 2008 11:41 AM
Loved the recap!!!
I thought Matt had told Gordon that he had no feeling in his HEAD, so I was more confused that you were. And geez, why couldn't he repeat the order back? And when he got back to the room to decide who to put up for elimination, and was telling the others that it didn't matter if they put him up or not because he wasn't going home, I knew for sure he had lost it.
It seems Corey changed after toliet brush left....
3 of 11 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on June 6, 2008 12:46 PM
This has been the funniest recap in a while. I especially loved the homage to Matt at the end.
What you forget of course, is that there is a slight difference between an "ego" and "confidence". Jen has the ego, Corey has the confidence [to be a bitch in front of everyone but still have the BALLS to admit when she screwed up]. For a second I thought Gordo would eliminate Christina but... but thank God. I hope Matt sees past episodes of the show, and realizes why everyone was always "ignoring WAH WAH pay attention to me" him.
4 of 11 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on June 6, 2008 1:16 PM
Ah Matty....I'm sorry to see him go because he was like an accident...you can't look away. The hilarity factor is definately not the same. I think Jen needs to go next. She's another one who "NEVER" does ANYTHING wrong...gah, I can't stand her! I'm rootin' for either Corey or Petrozza now that toilet brush is outta the picture. Either way, the seasons been pretty interesting so far.
5 of 11 | Posted by doodlesbug2001 | Posted on June 7, 2008 12:29 PM
o my god.. i really laughed out loud thru this entire episode.
i am really going to miss matt
hahahaa
6 of 11 | Posted by angelbayyb | Posted on June 7, 2008 2:14 PM
i really laughed out loud at that choclate souflee comment reference to Jen....lol
Great Recap...lol
7 of 11 | Posted by missmissy | Posted on June 9, 2008 10:38 AM
Cattyfan: I know someone who was an (unfed) diner last season. They were paid $50 for their hours of trouble and given all the bread, water and wine they could consume. That was it.
Lesson they learned: The trick is: The "restaurant" (set) is a couple blocks from Pink's Hot Dogs. Load up before you get to the set.
8 of 11 | Posted by killbondnow | Posted on June 9, 2008 2:33 PM
I love it how when someone is booted now in the final 6, they show all their highlights when they are walking out. Yet Matt has just one. One dish of Risotto. The rest was all undercooked.
I never seen so many shut downs in "Hell's Kitchen." How many services have they completed in 10 episodes? I think just two. That has to be a record for futility.
9 of 11 | Posted by belmont | Posted on June 10, 2008 11:21 AM
Someone rooting for that bitch Corey! That's a laugh.
10 of 11 | Posted by you you you | Posted on June 11, 2008 11:29 AM
Great recap.
I nearly died with the end collage of Matt pics. Set to the Golden Girls theme song, no less. You're a friggin comedic genius, haha.
11 of 11 | Posted by jaded | Posted on June 17, 2008 3:00 PM