It's the next day, and Matt is getting crazier by the second. He won't stop talking to himself about how he's confident that he'll win. I think we can officially add "delusional" to his list of symptoms. Christina tells him that he's annoying, and they argue. Matt says that he needs to be the best, so that he can send her home. The General says they've been bickering all day, and they need to pull it together before service.
Corey and Jen get back to the kitchen, and the first thing Christina does is tell Corey about how crazy Matt went while they were gone. Then Matt says, "You wanna see crazy? This is fuckin' crazy!" And he smacks himself in the head a bunch of times.
Then he does a weird exaggerated fake crying thing. It's just so bizarre that I'm speechless. I am literally. Without. Speech. Matt says that Christina needs to grow up and understand what it's like to blow off steam. It's annoying because he sucks but she totally eggs it on. She needs to just ignore him like the others do.
Gordon comes in and assigns stations. Jen and Petrozza are on appetizers. The General is on fish. Corey is on vegetables. Matt and Christina will be working together on meat. Uh oh! Think that was set up by the producers? I do.
Christina tells us that if Matt messes up, then she's going to kick him off the station. Matt tells us that Christina is a nasty little bitch with cellulite on her ass. The thing about arguments is that as soon as the person insults the others' appearance, they've lost. Because that is what you do when you have nothing substantive to say. It's like when my friend Julie dated a wacko football player in college. She eventually broke up with him and was like, "I just don't trust you." His response? "Yeah...well...well...I CAN'T STAND YOUR FACE!" Oh we still laugh about that one!
But anyway, Hell's Kitchen is now open. Actors -- er, I mean, people -- are pulling up outside in their fancy cars with their fancy clothes per usual. I would give anything to just see a total slouch drive up in a Ford Taurus and flip flops.
Instantly after Gordon calls in the first round of orders, Matt already starts a fire!!! Wow, he's really wasting no time this week. Gordon tells him not to blow on it, so of course he does. Oh to watch a genius at work...Matt really makes me feel better about myself and my station in life.
The next part of the show is so funny! Apparently Petrozza's hands are so dirty that the bottom of a plate he serves has a CHIVE stuck to the bottom of it! And, yet again, Petrozza delivers one of his famous one-liners: "Chef Ramsay zeros in on anything and everything like a heat-seeking missile." Ramsay says he's confused as to how Petrozzo works like a pig and yet produces amazing food. I feel like when I look at him, there is a cloud of dirt and dust following him like Pig Pen from the "Peanuts" cartoons. It's not exactly appetizing, but I enjoy Petrozza so much that I'll try to overlook it.
AAAaaaaaaaaand this is where things fall apart! Jen's risotto is too salty, and she's order to make it over. Then, there is a neatfun game of "Telephone." Gordon calls a meat order out to Matt, and Matt repeats it back completely wrong. Gordon calls it again. Matt repeats it back incorrectly again. Matt stutters all over the place and is obviously hearing things. What's worse is that Matt and Christina aren't communicating with the rest of the team at all. Because of that, Corey's timing is off with the vegetables. She starts struggling with reheating the vegetables and begins to cry. Whoa. Everything continues to snowball from there, and I love every pathetic minute of it!
Now Christina is cooking chicken and beef in the same pan to speed things up. And then Bobby has salmon and scallops in the same pan. Gordon freaks out as this is really bad for anyone who has food allergies or specific dietary rules. Customers are waiting forever without food. And of course there is raw steak among them. This wouldn't be Hell's Kitchen if there wasn't raw meat somewhere! We are on Episode 10 and these people STILL couldn't cook a steak to save their lives. Amazing!
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Comments (11)
Excellent recap. You should get over your aversion to shell fish- it's quite tasty when cooked right... preferably not raw.
I think Matt's behavior was so over the top in this episode that I suspect he was an actor/plant/mole added to the cast to make the show more entertaining similar to Aaron last season.
What a putz.
1 of 11 | Posted by mrmaximoto | Posted on June 6, 2008 11:38 AM
So...what happens to all those folks in the dining room who didn't get fed?
Do they give them give certificates to McDonalds and send them on their way? At least there, they know the meat will be cooked...
2 of 11 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on June 6, 2008 11:41 AM
Loved the recap!!!
I thought Matt had told Gordon that he had no feeling in his HEAD, so I was more confused that you were. And geez, why couldn't he repeat the order back? And when he got back to the room to decide who to put up for elimination, and was telling the others that it didn't matter if they put him up or not because he wasn't going home, I knew for sure he had lost it.
It seems Corey changed after toliet brush left....
3 of 11 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on June 6, 2008 12:46 PM
This has been the funniest recap in a while. I especially loved the homage to Matt at the end.
What you forget of course, is that there is a slight difference between an "ego" and "confidence". Jen has the ego, Corey has the confidence [to be a bitch in front of everyone but still have the BALLS to admit when she screwed up]. For a second I thought Gordo would eliminate Christina but... but thank God. I hope Matt sees past episodes of the show, and realizes why everyone was always "ignoring WAH WAH pay attention to me" him.
4 of 11 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on June 6, 2008 1:16 PM
Ah Matty....I'm sorry to see him go because he was like an accident...you can't look away. The hilarity factor is definately not the same. I think Jen needs to go next. She's another one who "NEVER" does ANYTHING wrong...gah, I can't stand her! I'm rootin' for either Corey or Petrozza now that toilet brush is outta the picture. Either way, the seasons been pretty interesting so far.
5 of 11 | Posted by doodlesbug2001 | Posted on June 7, 2008 12:29 PM
o my god.. i really laughed out loud thru this entire episode.
i am really going to miss matt
hahahaa
6 of 11 | Posted by angelbayyb | Posted on June 7, 2008 2:14 PM
i really laughed out loud at that choclate souflee comment reference to Jen....lol
Great Recap...lol
7 of 11 | Posted by missmissy | Posted on June 9, 2008 10:38 AM
Cattyfan: I know someone who was an (unfed) diner last season. They were paid $50 for their hours of trouble and given all the bread, water and wine they could consume. That was it.
Lesson they learned: The trick is: The "restaurant" (set) is a couple blocks from Pink's Hot Dogs. Load up before you get to the set.
8 of 11 | Posted by killbondnow | Posted on June 9, 2008 2:33 PM
I love it how when someone is booted now in the final 6, they show all their highlights when they are walking out. Yet Matt has just one. One dish of Risotto. The rest was all undercooked.
I never seen so many shut downs in "Hell's Kitchen." How many services have they completed in 10 episodes? I think just two. That has to be a record for futility.
9 of 11 | Posted by belmont | Posted on June 10, 2008 11:21 AM
Someone rooting for that bitch Corey! That's a laugh.
10 of 11 | Posted by you you you | Posted on June 11, 2008 11:29 AM
Great recap.
I nearly died with the end collage of Matt pics. Set to the Golden Girls theme song, no less. You're a friggin comedic genius, haha.
11 of 11 | Posted by jaded | Posted on June 17, 2008 3:00 PM