Everyone starts bustling around to come up with their 100 portions of something to tempt high school kids. Rock makes kobe beef meatloaf to be served on a ciabatta roll. Do kids voluntarily eat meat loaf? Josh is making baked salmon with pineapple salsa - probably not the first thing I would have run for in high school. Julia does a grilled chicken and cheese sandwich with onion rings, Bonnie makes breaded and fried goat cheese served over greens, and Jen does baked chicken fettuccine, still hoping Mariah will pop around a corner babbling something crazy. The kids pour in to receive sample portions of each dish served on different colored plates to help them with their voting. Each chef tries to campaign for his or her own dish while handing them out. Bonnie is pink (of course she is) and she tells the kids that pink is nice. Then Rock chimes in saying, "Don't vote for her. She's not that nice." Um, Rock? Why don't you shut it and let your meatloaf speak for itself? You are getting on my last nerve - and making me come to Bonnie's defense. No good. Jen tries telling a kid that she loves his sweater. Will that make him vote for fettuccine with no garlic bread?
"Yeah, I started a trend with this sweater."
After the kids have pondered over their samples and their color charts, Chef Ramsay lines up the chefs in front of the kids to announce the winner. He tells them that the winner is a hero with over 51% of the votes. Wow, that means the other 49% got divided four ways - in other words, this was a landslide. Will we find out before commercial? No. But luckily I don't recap commercials, so the winner is...
Blasted teenagers and their graffiti marketing...
JULIA! With her grilled chicken and cheese with onion rings! The students all cheer while Julia jumps into Chef Ramsay's arms. She confessionals that she is happy because this shows that not only can she cook, but she can also make her food taste good. And I'd like to add that she knows her audience. She chose something kids would like and identify with. I mean salmon with pineapple salsa? Not so much, Josh. Julia gets to choose one person to come with her to Vegas, just like on America's Next Top Model, and she chooses Jen. Rock, Josh and Bonnie have to go back to Hell's Kitchen to do something dull. Both Julia and Jen have speculated over what they will do in Vegas and I have to wonder if they have cooked away too many brain cells. Um - see the restaurant you are competing to win perhaps? Think, ladies. This isn't a grand mystery. The next surprise is that they get to go to Vegas on a private jet - très chic.
Nothing but fancy.
Herr Narrator tells us that as the winners get a taste of the "high life," the losers are "grounded" in Hell's Kitchen. Oh Herr Narrator. You and your puns - they delight me every time. Jean Philippe tells the losers that they will be doing some deep cleaning of the restaurant. They will vacuum, steam clean, and iron. Right away the steam cleaner gets the best of Josh, as he can't figure out that the cord needs to be plugged into an outlet in order for the device to have power. Jean Philippe can hardly believe it, saying, "Do you know what, Josh? This is not rocket science. It doesn't work with solar energy, it works with electricity. Just turn it on." You tell him, Jean Philippe! It's not even like the cord is inconspicuous - it's this huge fat gray thing wrapped around the machine a million times. Josh basically says he's a chef, not a janitor, but the truth is, he's just an idiot. He then proceeds to try to vacuum up a chicken bone.
I'll give you one guess as to where the girls are headed in Vegas. That's right, the Green Valley Ranch! Who would have thought? This is such a surprise! They are led to a fat suite where they are mesmerized by the bidet - never mind the pool table and the champagne, there's a booty cleanser! Then they are treated to full body massages at the spa, which makes me want to take a nap.
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Comments (13)
I like Julia as well, she might not be a fancy cook she has the heart. I think chef Ramsey is great to offer her to culinary school. but why come back for a reality show after that? She should just open up a diner. She can cook good basic food. That's enough to bring in diners. I wish her all the sucess.
1 of 13 | Posted by bambinoitaliano
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Posted on July 26, 2007 3:48 PM
So sweet about Julia, I am very happy for her. :)
Rock is an a-hole hands down. Bonnie should never run a kitchen and Jen is....not really bad or good, just not great. Of the three I think Jen is the best choice, god i can't believe i just said that.
2 of 13 | Posted by PixieGal
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Posted on July 26, 2007 5:14 PM
waaay too funny honey...i think i'm in love with you
3 of 13 | Posted by caught.doin.it
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Posted on July 27, 2007 12:07 AM
Josh, what a waste of space. Every time they come back from elimination he'd be all like "NOW it's on". Damn fool.
Rock is a d1ckhead and I'd hate for him to win but that's who I think WILL win.
Great recap. "Bonnie tries to spell her name" was the best line out of many.
4 of 13 | Posted by LaSexorcisto
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Posted on July 27, 2007 5:38 AM
I hate to see Julia go but Chef is right about her talent. She will do great once she acquires more culinary skills. It was great to see his softer side with her.
Josh. What a useless cook. I can't believe this idiot was precooking the spaghetti. And this guy works in the industry?!? How many times have they cooked rissoto this season? Like a gazillion times and this clown still undercooks it! He belongs behind the dishwasher not a stove.
Rock. Good talent with horrible social skills. He'd be best running a hot dog stand by himself.
Jen. The best option for Chef. Talent is OK but she is able to get along with her peers. Her presence and demeanor is not like Julia's (at her best performances.)
Bonnie. Lucky she has come this far. Unless she is bonking Chef, she doesn't have a chance.
5 of 13 | Posted by milostea
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Posted on July 27, 2007 7:10 AM
Thinking of the top 3, I think Rock is going to win, frankly because I (nor the rest of humanity) will ever be able to forget that Jen pulled that spaghetti out of the trash and was going to serve it. What Executive Chef tries to serve garbage? If they do some sort of recap of their performance on Hell's Kitchen from beginning to end, that is just going to stand out like a sore thumb.
Bonnie just doesn't have enough experience working in a restaurant environment, so I don't think she'll be able to pull it out.
I shed a tear for Julia. I really wanted her to win the whole damn thing. But I hope she'll be back after completing her schooling. I heart her.
6 of 13 | Posted by Krizzatch
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Posted on July 27, 2007 8:34 AM
How come wonderful Julia got the axe? Didn't she get immunity or something from winning the first challenge?
I call SHENANIGANS!
HG, your screencaps etc had me giggling so much I was wiping away tears. Especially the stuff about how stupid Josh is (having to take the bus bc he thought his car was "done for" -- too funny!
I'll bet Josh thought he'd be able to keep the black-trimmed chef's jacket as a souvenir -- denied!
Also, I haven't heard or read the phrase 'goody gumdrops' for ever such a long time.
HEART!
7 of 13 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on July 27, 2007 1:22 PM
Your funniest Hell's Kitchen recap by far. I especially liked the caption under the Hell's Kitchen logo on the lockers; I was laughing for about five minutes after that.
Anywayz, I'm disappointed that this is our final three; Bonnie is obviously not competent or consistent enough to run her own restaurant, Rock is, like you said, a complete asshole and Jen's horrible lopsided face and bird's nest hair will scare away any customers. So I guess I'm routing for her.
8 of 13 | Posted by bellewhore
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Posted on July 27, 2007 4:38 PM
Well done, HG!! Great recap. There's the bitchiness that I love with TVGasm!
9 of 13 | Posted by mommyboughtyoupajamas
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Posted on July 27, 2007 6:04 PM
First of all I think this was a great recap...
Julia. The best part of this show. I suck at cooking but if someone from Waffle House can make it on a cooking reality show then so can I.
Rock. The only reason I like him is because he keeps referring to himself as the "Rock," which always meakes me laugh because he is an idiot.
Bonnie. I do not like her because she kept putting Julia down for not knowing the product, yet she is a Nannie which apparently means she is a cooking God.
Jen. Do not really have a feel for her, but since I think it will be between her and Rock I root for her.
10 of 13 | Posted by johncon966
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Posted on July 27, 2007 11:46 PM
Ugh.. I think Rock is going to win as well.. specially out of those 3.
I think the only people that ever had a chance of winning were him, Jen and Julia.. and well.. Julia is now gone.
I hope Jen wins but well.... who knows.
Rock is such an immature asshole though.
Seriously, who the hell acts like that?? I just want someone to smack the crap out of him and jap him in the leg with a fork.
What a loser.
11 of 13 | Posted by Shollia
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Posted on July 28, 2007 1:36 AM
Bonnie should have went home a long time ago. Like another poster said, she was so quick to dismiss Julia for her lack of cooking expertise, but didn't she say that she was a nanny who only cooked for three people? I never would have thought she would have made it this far. It comes to show you, a "pretty" face and an empty head goes a long way on reality TV.
If I were to choose the lesser of the three evils, it would have to be rock. Sure he's an ass, but would you honestly go to Jen's restarurant knowing the bitch would serve you stuff out of the trash?
12 of 13 | Posted by mommyboughtyoupajamas
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Posted on July 28, 2007 9:34 AM
Great recap. I just discovered this entire site and have been catching up on all the reality shows I've missed over the years.
HG your recap on RamJam going off and kicking Josh out had me ROFLMAO and subsequently searching for the video clip online. Found it! Thanks, TVGasm & Honey Gangsta!
13 of 13 | Posted by Chips.N.Whips | Posted on October 30, 2008 2:11 PM