Okay, maybe not. But it sounds more exciting than what's actually about to happen. We've got a pretty even match this year on Hell's Kitchen. Who do you think will win?
It's not her, so you know I'm happy!
And now, the conclusion of Hell's Kitchen..........
Wow! Are we really at the end of the season already? It seems like only yesterday they were burning Wellingtons and sugaring risotto. Well, not Danny and Paula, but everyone else.
We rewind a little to Paula getting PrettyGirl as the last member of her team. Paula wishes she didn't have her, Danny's glad he got to stick Paula with her. Now off to the dorms to get the teams up to speed!
Upstairs, Andrea asks Paula how she feels about her menu. She feels good. Danny wants to know how Carol feels about fish. She feels excellent. "It's the only station I rocked." Yeah, definitely don't put her on the potatoes, Danny. Carol thinks it sucks that she's on Danny's team because she wants Paula to win. She is all about the women power. I could totally tell from her use of fake ponytails and hoop earrings. It's all the rage in modern feminism.
Danny tells them this is his dream about to come true, so they need to understand that he is the man. Alrighty then! Ben thinks Danny is the underdog going into this and he's going to do his best to help him win. I don't think I'd call Danny the underdog. He actually won more challenges than Paula. He's younger, yes, but does that necessarily mean he's the underdog? I'm not buying it.
Danny tells them to get used to calling him Chef. Gio thinks that's a great idea.
Man, you are funny!
Then he realizes that Danny is serious.
Fuck you, fish boy.
Gio tells us he's just here for one more day. "I'd rather be home. I'd rather not see this place ever again." Tell us how you really feel, Gio.
Over at Paula's team meeting she wants to know how PrettyGirl feels about the dessert station. She's fine with it; she'll be asking everyone for a lot of input. PrettyGirl tells us, "I hope no one has a problem with working with me, although I'm sure everybody has a problem working with me."
I wonder why
Then, in case we forgot why, the editors helpfully take us down memory lane to all the wonderful times we've had with PrettyGirl. Look! There's her quitting! There it is again! Oh, now she's crying in bed. Awww, I'm so glad I got to relive this again.
Misty Snot-Encrusted Mem-or-ies, of how PrettyGirl sucked......
LA tells PrettyGirl that they need to bang this out for Paula. She knows. How does Andrea feel about PrettyGirl? "If she gives any negativity or whatever, I swear to God I will unleash a wrath on her like she's never seen." Oooooooo, scaaaaaa-ry!
You can shut up too.
PrettyGirl has a positive attitude about what is ahead. "I'd love to believe in my team, but, fuck them, they don't believe in me, so what the hell's the point." Atta girl! You are ready and raring to go, aren't ya?
The next day both teams begin their prep for the final service. Danny is feeling confident that they're going to win. Uh oh, Danny. Don't you know you never say that? You may have just jinxed yourself. Paula says nothing about winning. She just wants them all to work as a team and get prepped for tonight.
Whoa! Even Sous Chef Gloria hates PrettyGirl it would seem. She's busting her balls about how much she's missed her while laughing her ass off. Paula tells her to be nice, she needs PrettyGirl. Everyone laughs and laughs and laughs. Well, except for PrettyGirl.
I miss you like an oozing pus-filled boil on my ass
Paula says she's keeping an eye on PrettyGirl and helping her move along. They talk about prepping the desserts and Paula tells her to start with the creme brulee because that will need time to cool and set. Sounds like a plan!
Over on Danny's side, Ben is running his mouth. As usual. He tells us he keeps having to remind himself that this is not for him anymore. This is for Danny.
If I killed Danny and took his place would anyone notice?
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Comments (11)
Loved your recap!
This was my favorite final two on Hells Kitchen.. Danny crying..d'awww..
I guess I wasn't the only one who thought his dad seemed a bit douchey.
I think Danny and Ramsay bonded on that airplane reward they went on together. I'm sure they had fun. Gordon is a big kid. I wish they would show ALL his BBC shows here.. he's SO much more than the "character" on Hells Kitchen.
1 of 11 | Posted by knackered | Posted on May 18, 2009 11:50 AM
I wasn't sure who'd win, but Danny did seem to have more command of his crew.
Yeah, I quite like watching The F Word. He demonstrates some fantastic recipes and cooking techniques.
2 of 11 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on May 18, 2009 12:28 PM
Thanks, PottyMouth, for a season of fantastic recaps!
I also would have been happy for either of them...they're both great! Why is it we never hear about the past winners and contestants except on the show? I mean, with Top Chef, you have the runners-up opening restaurants, giving interviews...then again, I really hope PrettyGirl doesn't open a restaurant. Imagine the hot mess that would be!
Love ya, Potty!
3 of 11 | Posted by FIERYTOPAZ | Posted on May 18, 2009 6:46 PM
She could open a McDonald's. Oh wait... she doesn't cook meat. Nevermind.
4 of 11 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on May 19, 2009 3:11 AM
I'm glad Danny won. I am hoping the best for PrettyGirl... I think she would make a great prison cook. It would be great punishment for all concerned.
5 of 11 | Posted by Snortles | Posted on May 19, 2009 8:00 AM
Kisses and hugs to you Potty Mouth for a great season of recaps!
This show was a bit of a snoozer... I would have been happy either way, but I was glad Danny won. I also thought he was going to fly right over that railing and go splat. His enthusiasm was awesome.
Pretty Girl and Andrea did not disappoint in their total lack of skill and acting like total bitches. Gio really surprised me, and I was a bit concerned for Danny that he would just eff it all up. Someone needs anger management classes, LOL.
Thanks again Potty! xoxoxo
6 of 11 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on May 19, 2009 8:04 AM
thanks for the recaps!
i wouldn't ever compare HK to top chef. i've stopped trying! HK clearly goes for drama, while TC goes for excellent talent. i mean, can you see prettygirl on TC??? "i can't cook meat!" lol.
i'm a southerner, and for me, i grew really tired of danny the hick. his red jacket = ugh. backwards hat? velvet hammer? jumping 10 feet in the air and yelling "what?!? what?!?" c'mon man, act like a businessman if that's presumably what you are trying to be. not a hick. and where have we seen his girlfriend before?
anyway, despite that, i'm glad danny won, tho i would have been fine if paula won, too. i think she would have been the more professional of the two, but they are both talented.
see you next season!
dax
7 of 11 | Posted by idax | Posted on May 19, 2009 8:43 AM
Darling Pottymouth,
What a great season. I can't wait for July!!
Thanks so much for all of your awesome recaps. I loved reading each and every one of them.
Hugs,
Yenta
8 of 11 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on May 19, 2009 2:20 PM
I have loved both of these two the entire season and from very early on I predicted (and hoped) that they would be the final two.
I thought I was impartial about who won, but I was actually kind of disappointed that it was Danny at first, because he'd been back to acting too cocky for my liking. But he did do very well in rallying his team and being vocal and then when he started to cry my heart just melted right there and I got all choked up. I really just wanted to hug him.
Thanks for the great season of recaps PottyMouth!
A friend of mine and I have decided to visit Danny's restaurant at some point (if indeed, he gets a restaurant) so we shall have to update all the Gasmi on how the food is!
9 of 11 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on May 19, 2009 6:24 PM
I liked Danny and was glad he won, but whenever he came into a scene wearing his flannel coat and had his hair down all I could think of was Ted Nugent.
10 of 11 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on May 20, 2009 4:13 AM
PottyMouth, honey, I'm totally with you, I was happy with either of these two winning JUST AS LONG AS IT WASN'T FUCKING ANDREAAAAAAAAA!
I have to say I was a tad disappointed that Gio apparently couldn't suck it up and keep his bitterness in check... yes, it would be hard to have to cook under somebody else going for the win on this show, but I think they've forgotten that people (who work in and own restaurants and might possibly employ them) DO watch how they act, and I think it reflected poorly on him to be so fuckitall about it. Not to mention looking like a Bitter Betty all over the TV screen.
Awesome job on this season, loved your work!
love, J-Mo :)
11 of 11 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on May 20, 2009 8:57 AM