This week's Hell's Kitchen was a total shocker for me. Not only did full grown women not know how to cook pasta, but then the wrong person was prematurely sent home. Gordon Ramsay is obviously toying with my emotions!
Have you ever noticed that at the beginning of each episode, the weird announcer says, "And now...the continuation...of Hell's Kitchen." Complete with dramatic pauses and everything? And, of course, he says "continuation" and "kitchen" with extra OOSH sounds. It's every. Single. Episode. And it weirds me out.
Well, anyway, after elimination, our culinary warriors leave the kitchen and head back to destroy their tastebuds at the house. They sit around outside and discuss the large Matt-shaped hole that now exists in the show. Petrozza and the General agree that they miss him about as much as a big, juicy coldsore. They also all agree that Jen is on her last leg and will undo herself with her attitude. I find myself filled with absolutely certainty that this will be her last episode.
Jen tells us that she's not here to make friends or be a part of a team. But she says that as far as culinary skills go, she's got all of them faded. Faded! Then she sits down and eats a ham and cheese sandwich.
Christina and Corey have neatfun roomie bed time talk about how they need to take Jen down. So good that the blondies have found something to bond over. They look more and more like a slumber party every episode, don't they? I hope they start wearing mud masks and having pillow fights in their underwear by the end of this series. Or, like I did with my friends, eat an entire box of Twinkies while sitting under the ping-pong table "fort."
The next day, Team Black meets G-Ram in the kitchen for the challenge. He says that they will have a new appetizer tonight, lobster spaghetti. Um, ew. I know that I need to get over my aversion to shellfish. Many of you have written me telling me so. And I'm not saying that you guys are wrong, but old habits die hard. And enough with the shellfish already!
Anyway, because these aren't real chefs, Gordo has to show them how to prepare the new entree. Everyone watches each step carefully, and the General says that he loves watching him cook because he tells a story with his food. Verbatim, this is the story that Rams tells while cooking: "Lobster. Crack claws. Spaghetti. Touch. Touch. Did everybody watch that?" Wow, what riveting prose.
After the demonstration, Chef tells them that for the very first time in Hell's Kitchen, they will be opening a cooking school. And can the contestants please attend it? Because I think they could use it...
According to Rammers, the essence of becoming a great chef is becoming a great teacher, so they will each have one student to teach. In a fun twist, the students are "domestic housewives." But not just your ordinary housewives. These are low-cut neckline and high-cut hemline housewives. Housewives with blown-out hair and collagen injections. Since when did the term "housewife" get redefined to THIS?! Growing up, no one's mom ever looked this way. Most moms I knew looked like they were about two steps away from a 12-step program. Totally exhausted and disshelved. Wiping jelly off their kids' faces with a crumpled up kleenex from their pockets. Now it's like everyone's mom is a MILF. It is a total myth that ordinary housewives look this way. I blame Bravo and their "Real Housewives" series for this strange trend.
Well, anyway, as you can imagine, our remaining male contestants could not be more excited. It seems that Petrozza has never seen a woman before. And the girls look a little miffed. One of the ladies has a little mini dog that is shamefully dressed in a jacket with blue boa. Gordo asks the lady if he can take her gerbil, which is aptly named Zeus. He asks Scott to watch after Zeus and maybe put him in the steamer. All the ladies giggle wildly! Omg! Gordon is, like, so hilarious! I like totally love when he jokes about eating my dog!
The chefs have 45 minutes to teach their students how to make the lobster spaghetti. Aaaaaaaand GO!
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Comments (9)
Loves the recap as usual :)
You really do need to get over your shellfish thing, it's quite tasty. And by the way, that "poor little lobster" is a carnivore and would eat you should your body end up on a seabed somewhere.
Oh, and Jen eating out of the garbage isn't so weird. People at my dining hall used to do it all the time, mostly because we get that the food in there has just been moved from a pan into the trash and it's not like the trash fairy has magically made it moldy and gross as soon as it hit the can.
And did you notice how Corey totally went schizo about Christina? They were chatting away about Jen being so annoying and then when Corey loses she goes apeshit on Christina talking about how she pisses her off and stuff. Weird editing or is Corey kinda crazy?
1 of 9 | Posted by Pixiegal262 | Posted on June 16, 2008 12:51 PM
I completely missed this week, thanks for the recap!
Team Anti Shellfish unite!
And I will never grow tired of your peeing souffles imagery. Too funny.
2 of 9 | Posted by its a little pitchy dawg | Posted on June 16, 2008 2:14 PM
So, the big question is did the producers interfere because Jen "makes good tv." I mean, that seems like the only logical explanation. The General really only had this one bad service, and has been pretty consistent throughout. Jen has been awful for the last three or four dinner services.
Anyway, I think it's clear at this point that Christina and Corey have to be the favorites. Smart money has to be on Corey, right?
By the way, the eating out of the garbage can thing totally disgusted me. And I am kinda curious which type of dining hall Pixiegal is referring to where people regularly eat out of the trash can. This has to be freshmen at college, right? Either that or homeless people. (That's meant as a joke, not as a jab at Pixiegal).
3 of 9 | Posted by Alafoss | Posted on June 16, 2008 4:11 PM
Lol, Alafoss- it totally is the freshman who do it ;-)
I had another look at Jen's eating and she was basically eating off the plates before the food went in the garbage...it's odd, certainly, but not particularly gross.
Beside that, who else thinks they waste a ton of food on this show? People burn things, serve them raw, over salted, under-seasoned and all that and presumably throw it all away. And then during the challenges they waste lots of food just to have G-Rams take one bite and then toss it out. I hope they compost all that food.
4 of 9 | Posted by PixieGal262 | Posted on June 16, 2008 6:37 PM
Great Recap!
BTW - did anyone else notice that JP's tie keeps changing color during the "same" dinner service? Maybe it's just me, but I swear his tie went from red to blue and back to red!
And if Jen somehow wins this, I'll be so very sick and sad at Gordon. :(
5 of 9 | Posted by lonebutterfly | Posted on June 16, 2008 7:34 PM
Wasn't there someone last season who ate out of the garbage? Or served food they got out of the garbage?? Something like that.
I'm thinking that Ramsey is going to give the prize to two people (Christina and Corey) and tell them to work together at his new restaurant.
6 of 9 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on June 17, 2008 6:20 AM
Yeah, last season the girl who came in 3rd took spaghetti outta the trash and actually went to serve it before another girl stopped her. Yet, she made it to the top 3. Yikes.
I wholeheartedly agree with the statement that the General just kinda floated through everything. True, he was far more talented than the walking disaster that is Jen, but he was a little too laid back most of the time. He never wanted to be involved in conflict, didn't want to pitch in when help was needed, never gave off those little direction or leadership vibes RamJam looks for. Hell, he even left acting like it wasn't a big deal. I think the General was sent home because Chef expected more outta him and wasn't getting it.
7 of 9 | Posted by jaded | Posted on June 17, 2008 3:21 PM
Yes, I am ready for Jen and her loud mouth to go, but I've been wanting that slack-jawed loser 'The General' to go since the very beginning, esp when he was the so-called leader (ep 1?) and couldn't delegate or get anyone to get anything done! So NOT chef material.
Then again, none of them is...
I'm sure most of you realise that the winner (I am not sure who) is soon-to-be the *sous* chef at Ram Jam's new (and apparently fairly crappy with mini-mean & exe portions) resto at The London Hotel (formerly the very cool Bel Age Hotel, where once I saw Jimmy Page from Led Zepplin !!!!!! as well as a few other visiting Brit celebs).
NOT 'head chef' *at all*, as trumpeted all season long.
Because they just aren't nearly good enough.
*sigh*
8 of 9 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on June 22, 2008 6:42 PM
sorry, didn't mean to repeat much of yr comment, jaded.
And yeah, I've plucked the occassional thing outa the bin at home, and then eaten it (within reason), but certainly not served it in a professional resto.
That spaghetti incident from the previous season was jaw-dropping.
9 of 9 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on June 22, 2008 6:45 PM