This week's episode began with tears -- lots of them. Virginia had just narrowly escaped elimination and was now crying on her bed. Unfortunately for her, the only one around to make her feel better was resident penguin, Sara. The irony was not lost on the narrator, who commented, "Virginia, after facing elimination yet again, has no one left on her team to turn to but her bitter rival, Sara." Of course, the implication here was that Virginia ever had someone to turn to, but as far as I could tell, she still hadn't really become friends with anyone (excluding Ramsay, who she happily beguiles with her heaving bosom whenever she can). Nevertheless, Virginia bawled into her pillow, saying, "I suck, suck, suck." Yes, but tell us about your culinary skills. Rimshot! That was a fellatio joke, you see. Oh never mind.

Elsewhere in the compound, Heather hung out with her Blue Team homies and predicted that Gordon would probably join the groups into one über-team very soon. If that were to happen, the challenges would now be individual, not team. This spurred Garrett to say that if he were to win a challenge, he'd choose Keith to share in whatever reward awaited. I found this quite heartwarming, especially because the producers were so obviously setting up Keith to not return the favor. Suckah!

Nevertheless, Garrett really felt there was a male bond going on (although, I'm not sure that's ever a smart thing to do when one of the males goes by "K-Grease"). "There's two of us guys left," Garrett said, "and we just watch each other's backs, you know?" He then said, "Literally. He look at each other's backsides. You can take the boy out of the prison, but you can't take the prison out of the boy. Squeal like a piggy, K-Grease!" Okay, he didn't say that, but it should be noted that Keith will happily squeal like a piggy if prompted. That's just how he rolls.

The next morning, we saw Heather and Keith being all buddy-buddy and such. Oh, poor, naive Garrett. He had clearly become the third wheel to this dynamic duo. This could not end nicely for him. The cooks then all lined up in front of Gordon who congratulated them on making it to the final five. "One of you is gonna have their own restaurant," Ramsay said, adding, "And the rest of you are DONKEYS! FUCKING DONKEYS!!!!"

Well, maybe he didn't say that last part, but Gordo then doled out new black and white uniforms to everyone, signaling the end of team play. They were all one unified group now, and Virginia was more than thrilled. "We're all soldiers now. We all have to be our strongest," she said. Little did she know that they were DONKEY SOLDIERS!!! (Insert donkey neigh here). Gordon then reminded them all again that they each had a one in five chance of winning the restaurant, causing Heather to tell us excitedly, "It's me! It's me! It's me! It's me!" I couldn't help thinking this was massive misdirection on the producers' part. Setting Heather up for disappointment perhaps? We could only hope!