Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Separating Chefs from DONKEYS!

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"DONKEY!"

Greetings, beloved audience! Thanks guys, for keeping me informed and giggling with your comments. Last week MODULUS cleared up the Le Bec-Fin question and let us know that Jen's having worked there is actually an omission of epic proportions. ChicagoGal helped me out with what pancetta actually is, and Donna Martin Graduates gave Chef Ramsay my favorite nickname yet - Chef RamJam. I wanted to steal that, but not without giving proper credit where it's due. I'm having a ball with Hell's Kitchen, and couldn't do it without you guys. Keep the laughs coming!

We start this week by listening to both teams reflecting on the grand banishment of Melissa. Bonnie thinks it's like watching a main character die in the first five minutes of a movie. Yeah, except that it's Week 7, not Minute 5, so not really. Rock doesn't care because he's just one elimination closer to winning. Or one tantrum closer, whichever you prefer. The girls elate over continually beating the boys who are supposedly oh-so-advanced professionally. It's called hubris, and it is the Blue Team's downfall.

Continuing with what is now our very familiar routine, the next morning we meet up with Chef Ramsay downstairs to find out about today's quick challenge. We learn that today the chefs will be working with leftovers - a word that has never been a friend of mine. Chef Ramsay says that this is a test he gives to each one of his chefs. He wants to see them make something "stunning" from leftovers. Hmm, maybe I can learn something here. Each team has to prepare one appetizer and two entrées from a bunch of leftover stuff - all in 30 minutes. Let's go! I soon discover the difference between Chef Ramsay's idea of leftovers and mine. What he has is a bunch of ingredients that can be combined in any way, like uncooked spaghetti, chicken stock, raw beef, raw chicken, and eggs - basically not really leftovers, just a random combination of uncooked food. My leftovers are always something I already made and am tired of, like lentil soup or some kind of casserole. Can't the chefs show us how to make chicken cordon bleu using nothing but day-old pizza? That I would like to learn.

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Fresh leftovers, not like mine.

The Blue Team gets right down to business, but the Red Team can't seem to decide on anything to make; they just keep throwing out ideas. Let's see what everyone comes up with, shall we? Herr Narrator has some orientation for us before judging begins. "At this point in the competition, Chef Ramsay is looking for chefs who stand out with their resourcefulness and creativity." At this point? So up to now he was looking for what, best hairdo? Anyway, Bonnie and Brad step forward to present their "leftover" appetizers. Brad has made curried bass with crustacean tomato pasta. Bonnie immediately rolls her eyes and confessionals that she is dead meat. She then reveals her rustic chicken stew, which Chef Ramsay finds rustic indeed, and also quite fresh. He can't pick a winner, so both teams get a point. Boo! Next up are Jen and Josh. Jen presents steak and eggs, and Chef Ramsay says that sounds more like something that would come from Julia. He expects more from Jen in a half hour. Jen whines to the camera that the steak and eggs were Bonnie's idea and she should have done something else. Yes Jen, but you didn't. Josh presents chicken legs stuffed with something I can't understand. Chef Ramsay tastes it, makes a huge face, and makes Josh taste it as well.

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"Blimey! You've got to be winding me up!"

Recap: Hell's Kitchen: Separating Chefs from DONKEYS! Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6 

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Comments (15)

Shaz [TypeKey Profile Page]:

As much as I think Rock has a lot of talent, his arrogance and particularly his habit of speaking about himself in the third person make me not want him to win. Jules is still my fave. Bonnie is a flake. Josh should've left; I don't think Brad would;ve made it to the finals, but he really got the shaft tonight. Oh well- it's either Bonnie or Josh next.

Keep up the great recaps, HG. We love them!!

ChicagoGal [TypeKey Profile Page]:

"The Music"

Perfect!

Rock is a talented blowhard. Josh is crazy. Jen is a prissy beeyotch. Bonnie is a bubblehead.

I love Julia. Don't know if she has the culinary knowledge to pull this off, but she certainly has the ability to run a kitchen!

Tristen [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I can't stand Rock.
Who talks like that about themselves?

Please let Julia win!

PixieGal [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Go Julia!

Rock really annoys me with his bipolar psycho episodes. He needs to calm it down.

And OMG. If I hear another reality tv loser say "I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to compete." wtf? You can be there to "compete" and NOT be a total asshat.

Featherhead [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I agree PixieGal. You do not have to be a total asshat to compete. Jen is getting on my last nerve. Supposively she worked at some fancy places, but she does not seem to have the knowledge to back that up. When the girls used up half their time during the "leftover challenge" deciding what to make, I wanted to smack them. Steak and eggs? Come on Jen you should be able to do much much better. Chef RamBam should have made her wear it. She and Bonnie treat Julia like a three year old child. They wouldn't listen to any of her suggestions, so I was glad when he let her put her steak and shrimp on the menu. I think he sees how they dismiss her. She may only have waffle house experience, but once she gets some knowledge on fine dining food, watch out. I am hoping she wins. She is the only one who deserves it. The guys all have the experience cannot cook worth a damn. I would hate to eat somewhere they work. Go Julia!!!

Shollia [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I really hope Julia wins.
I read the spoiler on who is supposed to win, so we'll see.

As for Rock, GOD I can't stand him. His attitude totally stinks. The way he takes offense so easily and just blows up is so freaking immature.

I'm sick of Jen too... Stop complaining about the menu, pipe up and so "No Bitch, we aren't doing everything your way..."
Don't just sit there and take it up the butt and whine and get all tizzy about it later.. geeze.

Donna Martin Graduates! [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Hey, HG -- thanks for the shout out!

Yeah, a 'cassoulet' is a fancy French word for a certain type of casserole, that *always* contains meat and generally white beans.

So, if I ordered a cassoulet and got - uh - mac n cheese, I'd be pretty pissed off (even if it was perfumed with white truffle oil - which is so overplayed in semi-upscale kitchens these days).

You really don't wanna mess with your customer's expectations like that.

kreleia [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Well, that clinches it. Donna, I'm taking you with me the next time I want to experience true fine dining (something that I don't attempt on my own, since my "sophisticated taste" usually drives me to the nearest Wendy's for a "mandarin" chicken salad). Why? Because you've now educated me about cassoulet and actually typed the phrase "perfumed with white truffle oil." Since I'm only even vaguely aware of what truffles are, and that white ones are hideously expensive, I really think you could teach me a lot. No sarcasm here. :)

Back on topic, Honey G, your pic captions are hilarious! I'm in agreement with ChicagoGal on "The Music" - I cracked up! But, honestly, can anyone blame Chef Ramsey for being ticked off with the kids at this point in the show? I mean, really! YES, it's stressful. YES, it's a competition. But you've been at this for HOW LONG now??? Pull it together!

FINALLY Julia gets some recognition! *yay* Rock, SHUT IT! Bonnie just amazes me that she can completely space out in the middle of everything - helloooooo?? Turn off the mothership broadcast and concentrate!! Josh and Brad are just annoying prettyboys. ugh. And Jen. "I'm not spoiled! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!"

Did the Waffle House ever put out "GO JULIA" t-shirts? They should have.

Donna Martin Graduates! [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Hey, thanks kreleia. I'd be happy to dine with you any time you like!

I am fairly passionate about food and love cooking, too! That means I try to make every meal count; I'd rather skip a meal than eat crap.

You can read some of my foodblogging reports here --
http://la.foodblogging.com/author/maxmillion

(another nom du 'net...)

GIFFORDSAZ [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Honey Ganster, I am so happy you are recapping this show. I know putting your self out here for us to read and give feed back can be nerve racking so thanks for what you have done.

It seemed Hell's Kitchen was new to you and I worried you would hate Gordon before you had a chance to love him like most of us do and I am happy you didn't go there!

Keep up the great work and maybe you should consider recapping Gordon Ramsay's new fall show for us?

mommyboughtyoupajamas [TypeKey Profile Page]:

You sound like Ann Curry just reporting the facts, HG. Where is the witty sarcasm?

I saw a few comments, but in order to keep going in the likes of B-Side, J-Unit and madeyoulaugh, you've got to step up your game.

I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but this week's report was off.

Tony A. [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Sure looks like Gordo's been secretly watching Julia or is being fed intelligence by the staff, else he would have never agreed so quickly to put het choice on the menu. It's one of my favorite meals, but steak is about as common as ants on a picnic. I thought these people were supposed to impress. In that department, you can't fault Rock. He's inventive and daring and I don't recall his ever been rebuked hard by Ram-Jam. I peg him as the favorite, hubris and all.

chicknchaser [TypeKey Profile Page]:

G-Ram is from Scotland, not Jolly Ol' England. Also, I agree, the recaps ARE good; but could use a bit more snarkiness - like you have on your captions (which are 'spot on').

MODULUS [TypeKey Profile Page]:

First of all, thanks for the shout-out Honey Gangsta. That's my first main article mention and feels as good as G-Ram saying I made a spot on risotto (that didn't happen but a man can dream can't he?).

I for one was actually kinda happy that the guys didn't help the girls with the boxes. I know it's not too PC of me to say but I really don't think the girls would have helped them and it wouldn't have even been brought up if they men were the ones carrying heavy boxes. The girls have never offered to help with any of the other punishments the guys received and usually go out of their way to taunt them about their prize. Forget gender a minute and remember that the blue team won and the red team lost. Take your lumps; that's how the game is played.

I thought last seasons group was bad but none of these people seem remotely emotionaly stable enough (let alone cooking skills) to manage the kitchen in a Cracker Barrel. I know they what characters that make the show interesting but come on, with a multi-million dollar resturant as a prize, you'd think they'd get some modestly competent people.

Great recap. Love the screen caps. Keep up the good work and don't put it in the bin.

MODULUS [TypeKey Profile Page]:

And maybe before making fun of others, I should proof-read my comments for misspellings, incorrect grammar, and obvious typos. I'm such a DONKEY!

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