Heroes: Saw for Wussies
This week on Heroes, a lot of people die, a lot of movie plots are ripped off and Ando is inexplicably given more to do.
If you gotta go, go with freshly applied gloss.
December 16, 2008
December 11, 2008
Heroes: Magic Jello
This week, Heroes doesn't suck so much!
One day I'm gonna be an adult and not screw everything up. NOT!
December 4, 2008
Heroes: Power Loss Part Two
This week on Heroes, Claire's Pirate Mom hijacks a Yemeni cargo ship.
ARGH!
November 27, 2008
Heroes: Power Loss
This week on Heroes, HRG goes all Mr. Miyagi on Claire, we learn that at ten years old, Hiro was officially retarded, and Sylar gets some ass.
Hi there I'm calling to trade my one facial expression in for something, I dunno, hawter.
November 21, 2008
November 17, 2008
Heroes: Memory Lane
This week on Heroes, we find out that Meredith was the most boring character even a year before all this started, Sylar used to read a lot of books and liked musicals, and that Mama Petrelli was, for a short time, a strong black woman.
Dontchoo make me whoop yo ass, boy!
October 28, 2008
Heroes: Igpay Atinlay is The Only Latin I know. Here, Eat Some Dung, See the Future, and Let's Call it a Day.
Previously on Heroes...the episode had a semi-legible title. This week, I give you "Eris Quod Sum," which is Latin for "Yes, We Have No Bananas. Just Creepy Old Men. And Badass Sylar." Oh, also "You Will Be What I Am." What am I? Soon to be unemployed, so I really hope you won't become that.
I know the feeling. How many times can you call your boss a jackass before it catches up to you?
October 18, 2008
Heroes: The Origins Of Herpes
This week's episode of Heroes, entitled "Angels and Monsters," calls to mind every single cliché frat/sorority party theme I have ever been subjected to, including "CEO's and Office Hoes" and "Mermaids and Seamen." Let's pop our collars and do this!
I said pop your collar.
October 10, 2008
Heroes: I Can Has Death?
Yatta! I did it! I finally found a job that absolutely fits me and is willing and able to pay me more than packing peanuts and boxes of Mike&Ike. Oh wait, the economy is going to render the future job null and void (I was silly enough to choose "journalist/writer" as my career), and now I have to go back in time to warn Alan Greenspan about the collapse of western civilization. I can has death by black hole, plz?
You are worth nothing! Bwahahahahah!
October 8, 2008
Heroes: Did Somebody Order The Hot Cops? (Now with a Side of Child Abandonment!)
Oh lawd. The Butterfly Effect strikes again.
Don't worry. Not that one.