So my Vegas hangover/jet lag is nowhere near gone, but it's past time to make the recaps. I know you guys are patient and long-suffering-you watch Heroes, right?-so I won't make you wait any longer. Tonight's Heroes is called "The Fifth Stage". Since Sylar mentioned it a couple episodes ago, I'm going to guess we're talking about the fifth stage of grief, which is acceptance. The title card is all black, and just to beat the point into the ground, there was also an episode titled "Acceptance" way back in October.

As in, I accept that the awesomeness of Season 1 is dead and gone, never to return.

Lydia walks her inky legs right over to T-Sam to confront him with the truth. Well, just a little. She has her daughter's safety to think of, so she's not going to rock the boat. And that's all she has to say about that. What happened to "We have to stop him" last episode? I guess that was before Edgar split and left her holding the bag? Speaking of Edgar, T-Sam needs a new sidekick. The new candidate looks vaguely like John C. Reilly.

OK maybe not. But he's in everything else, I just had to check.

Samuel wants John C. Reilly's little brother to be his new Number Two. This makes sense, because his power is being in two places at once. Or more. Although they're running out of effects budget, so only one of them can be on screen at the same time. T-Sam wants the new guy to go steal HRG's Primatech files so they can assimilate more supers into the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.

Continue reading "Heroes: Heroes: Rearranging Deck Chairs On The Titanic" »

Posted by Copyhacker at 1:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Welcome to the holidays, y'all! I think the last couple of weeks of November are my favorite time of the year for TV. Sweeps are almost over, and the Super Dramatic Action Episodes give way to the lets-just-have-fun-cuz-no-ones-watching episodes. It's like dessert after the big meal. If the preview is any indication, this week's episode may bring us some action turkey and some pumpkin pie fun to chase it down. Grab your forks and let's dig in!

I'm ready for something Very Special.

Samuel's watching Pa Suresh's film projected on the ugly wallpaper inside his trailer. Robert Knepper is doing his best Evil Genius impersonation. I bet Michael Emerson calls him up all the time to gloat about winning the Best Bad Guy Emmy last year. Wannaben Linus is interrupted by Hiro banging on the trailer door bugging him about Charlie for the 14th time. T-Sam turns off the crazy like a light switch and tells Hiro to take a hike. Hiro puts a hand on T-Sam's shoulder, which is probably as close to throwing a punch as a guy like Hiro can get. T-Sam calls Hiro's bluff and sends him off to set the table with the womenfolk.

Continue reading "Heroes: Heroes: Who Wants Cake?" »

Posted by Copyhacker at 12:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Previously on Heroes: Remember me? I used to do long voiceovers about destiny at the beginning of every episode. Now I just do the "Previously on Heroes" bit. Ever since I made the mistake of shaving my stubble off that one time, I've been trying to work my way out of Kring's doghouse. He told me I could at least be in a flashback this week, so yeah, I guess it's going ok. My name is Mohinder Suresh.

Miss me?

The carnies are picking up cans off the street, ostensibly because Samuel feels like being green, but probably just to make a little scratch on the side. T-Sam explains to Hiro, still rocking his Knight Rider shirt, that he needs Hiro to go back 8 weeks and find Mohinder. Not to save his life, because that would piss off half the audience. Just to grab an old film before Mohinder can destroy it.

So just what has our favorite stubbly Indian scientist been up to all season? To find out, we flash back to nine weeks ago. Mohinder's in India tutoring on plate tectonics. I thought he was a biologist? Are us dumb Yanks not supposed to know the difference? Mo has got himself a woman, one with a proper Indian accent, not his stuffy British one. She frowns disapprovingly at the cardboard box of Suresh Senior's stuff that he dug up in the New Mexico desert. She wants him to throw it away, and so far no amount of tail she's offered up has done the trick. He puts up a pitiful fight ("it's just hard to let go") and then drops the box in a convenient trash-can sized to fit just right.

Now where's that tail you promised?

Continue reading "Heroes: Heroes: Good Artists Borrow, Bad Ones Steal From Lost" »

Posted by Copyhacker at 1:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

This week on Heroes: all the people who took last week off are back. Last week: Hiro and HRG and Samuel and Sylar. This week: Claire and Peter... and HRG and Samuel and Sylar. Never mind. I thought I had something there but I guess not. Maybe it'll come back to me. Let us return to Scooby-Doo and the Case of the Invisible Sorority Killer. Shag and Scoob just saw Daphne Claire heal up after being impaled on a meathook and are naturally a bit freaked. You must be tripping, is Claire's response. No really. She says she just had a hallucination, so Becky must have slipped something in their Dasani. Is there any drug you can put in water that doesn't change the taste? Probably not, but we're dealing with sorority girls here. Velma Gretchen pipes up and says she saw Shaggy and Scooby making out. And when you call them Shaggy and Scooby it sounds a lot grosser than two sorority girls making out would actually be. And just like that, the cat goes back in the bag.

Which sounds a lot naughtier than "Claire's secret is still safe". On second thought, maybe not.

BO-ring. One day, Heroes. One day there will be too many memories to erase and the secret will be out. That's the episode I can't wait to see. Claire is ready to wash her hands of this mess, but Gretchen is taking all this a lot more seriously now that it's her life in danger. Run, Retchin. Run away and never come back.

Continue reading "Heroes: Heroes: Planes, Trains and Automobiles" »

Posted by Copyhacker at 9:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Continue reading "Heroes: Heroes: Retcon Back Kotter" »

Posted by Copyhacker at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Welcome back, Heroes fans. If you've gotten sick of Good Sylar lately, this episode promises plenty of Bad Sylar for your guilty pleasure. Are you a Claire/Gretchen shipper? You're in the right place. For the rest of us... I'll try to make this quick and painless. It's a rainy night in LA (that right there should tell you something weird is going on) there's a nice fire going and the Parkman Manor windows are all steamed up. The episode title, "Strange Attractors", is written on the window.

All we're missing is Kate Winslet's hand on the glass.

Sure enough, there are some Strange Attractors getting their freak on inside. Janice Parkman is taking a ride on the Sylar train. Before you can do more than throw up in your mouth a little, the scene is over and Matt's waking up. It was all a dream! Or was it? Janice wakes up and makes morning-after eyes at him, so it was really Bad Sylar in charge last night and our Mrs. Parkman has a thing for bad boys. I think I liked Sylar better when he'd rather slice people open than do them. Remember when we all thought he was eating brains? Good times.

Continue reading "Heroes: Heroes: Suicide By Plot Hole" »

Posted by Copyhacker at 4:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I'm going to leave the boring preambles to Samuel this week. He's doing another voiceover and beating us over the head with the episode theme. Sylar can't remember who he is, so he's a broken vessel, a ghost, a blank slate. He has no compass to guide him. BUT Hiro does, because the body thrives when the heart has a mission blah blah Sambabble. Now we're in the hospital room with Hiro and Peter watching over him. The episode title is written on Hiro's blanket. FOREIGN EPISODE TITLE STOLEN FROM LOST ALERT!! "Tabula rasa" means "blank slate" in Latin and the phrase comes from psychology, if I remember right from when they used it on Lost. You can read more about it here.

Gotcha! You've just been herolled again! (I decided to change the name from Katt-rolling. Call it retroactive continuity, and if you don't know what that is, I have a massive Comic Book Lecture coming up on the subject one of these weeks.)

So if you paid attention to the comments from last week's recap, you know that's two titles in a row that come from the land of Freud. I heard next week's episode is titled Penis Envy. Hiro wakes up and Peter hands him his glasses. Peter says the doctors told Peter that Hiro is going to die of a brain tumor, which Hiro knows already.

I hope Hiro brought his Tamagotchi Industries checkbook. I saw Sicko, you know.

Continue reading "Heroes: Heroes: Death Kid For Petey" »

Posted by Copyhacker at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

So I just got back from my pilgrimage to see the Mouse, and I haven't even watched last week's Heroes yet. I have read Flipit's awesome recap of last week, though. Looks like he fast-forwarded through the boring stuff, but I think I'm caught up on the important parts. Like how Sylar, the Character Briefly Known As Fathan, got himself whacked by Swoosie Kurtz for trying to do the right thing. He's dug himself out now and is walking down the street, just minding his own business, and gets himself arrested for Walking While Bloody.

The Bangs Are Back!

Continue reading "Heroes: Heroes: You've Just Been Katt-Rolled" »

Posted by Copyhacker at 6:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

This week on Heroes, I pray for Hiro to jump off a building.

Start with season 2 and work your way forward, buddy. We'll wait.

Continue reading "Heroes: Heroes: Acceptance: Less Fun Than Anger and Denial" »

Posted by Flipit at 1:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

We're back again for another night of Heroes! When we left, Gretchen had just seen Claire do her signature dive out the window. Seriously, this girl has jumped out of a TON of windows. But let's pick it right back up where we left off. Claire's hiding out in her room when Gretchen bangs on the door. "Open up! We need to talk." Claire stares at the door, which cross-fades into a shot of Parkman's phone-Sprint logo prominently displayed, natch. Matt picks up his Sprint™ phone, his LAPD™ badge, and Cracker Jack™ sobriety chip that he got for going 30 days without a trip to KFC™. Imaginary Sylar and he pulls his Glock™. Yeah, this day's starting off well. Meanwhile, Peter Parker Petrelli is adding a big article to his wall of fame. Something about avoiding an MTA™ disaster. Which I guess would be a subway or bus accident.

There's a sale at Penney's!

Continue reading "Heroes: Heroes: That's What She Said. Really." »

Posted by Copyhacker at 12:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)