On the endless drive to the border, Sylar and the twins are still sweating in the Nissan Rogue. Again, I wonder how can the AC on a brand-new car can be so busted, the windows are rolled up and they're not hotboxing their way towards America. This road trip is crap, they don't even have any snacks. Alejandro is passed out in the back while Sylar salivates over Maya's powers, showing off the goods in a black tank top. They have a heart-to-heart, which consists mostly of Sylar proclaiming, "I wanna be special! I wanna be special!" He's an unshaven Veruca Salt, the greedy bastard. Sylar attempts the yawn and reach on Maya (who's driving, by the way) but then Maya's chastity belt starts beeping, waking a fiercely protective Alejandro.
What? It's my power animal, guys.
Despite the language barrier, Alejandro is not oblivious to Sylar's tone and body language, and wants to dump the third wheel at the next gas station. Which should be clearly indicated on the navigation system or something, along with the US border fence. Maya's an idiot and says that God delivered Gabriel to him in the form of an angel. That's cool, if you want an angel of death sitting shotgun in your car. She also informs Sylar that Alejandro wanted to get rid of him, as if that will make the trek less awkward. In case you're wondering, Maya was voted "Most loyal" at her Honduran high school.
Finally, on the never-ending Mexican road, there's a hole in the border fence. Well, if people are still living in trailers in New Orleans, do you think there's money to repair a fence? Maya just drives through and almost makes it across a ghetto-looking bridge when they're stopped...
by Larry the Cable Guy and extras from "Delta Farce."
The Citizen's Border Patrol is comprised of every moonshine-swilling redneck stereotype you can imagine. Sylar reassures Maya that they're fake cops as she starts hyperventilating - why in God's name is she driving -- and he slaps away Alejandro's hand as Maya starts letting that deadly mascara run. He encourages her to use her powers and the stupid girl complies. Is it too late to turn around on the yellow brick road to ask for a brain? The hick border patrol start humping the Rogue in an attempt to intimidate its passengers, and waving their guns around. I've never seen this tactic before. Maya refuses Alejandro's hand as well (burn!) and lets the cowboys and hicks die. Sylar starts to pass out as well, but croaks "Drive" before slumping over.
Nighttime falls (I bet it's filmed in the same place as Hiroland), Sylar and Alejandro duke it out, as Maya tries to break up the fight. Alejandro's pissed at his weaker half for allowing those people to die. Defending her actions, she puts herself squarely on Team Sylar. All I want for Christmas is for her character to get killed off-screen (and for Niki to have amnesia and disappear). Alejandro gives her an ultimatum, forcing her to choose between Sylar and him, but Maya is still on her God/Gabriel the angel/Salvation in Suresh kick. What is this, a telenovela? He warns his sister the next time her eyes start leaking, his hand won't be there, and he'll let Gabriel die. I assume that Sylar wasn't able to protect himself from her death spell, but had to be revived with the help of Alejandro. Or maybe he's becoming increasingly resistant, like a cockroach.
Visibility: shitty.
Maya, concerned for her new boyfriend, goes to the trunk of the Rogue to find something for his lip - knowing Claire, there's probably lots of lipgloss in the glove compartment. Sylar takes advantage of Alejandro's "no hablo ingles" and tells him to his face that he'll kill the two of them and take their powers as soon as he can, or at least keep Maya as a shiny new toy. That could be the opening line of the creepiest porno/horror film ever, bow chicka bow wow.
Hiroland, 1671
Do you think the hills where "Japan" scenes were filmed burned down last week? Hiro's scrolls reveal plans to attack White Beard's army at night, and an attempt to save the swordsmith. Hiro attempts to get Yaeko to reconsider her plan to fight - she's putting the finishing touches on a scroll.
Evidently, Magic Paint With Water books were available in feudal Japan.
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Comments (18)
This season of Heroes is quickly turning in to the season of Teh Suck.
Too many characters, too many long-winded story lines, too many locations, and WAY too many subtitles. Indeed, it was torture watching this episode.
1 of 18 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on November 1, 2007 7:43 AM
This season of Heroes is quickly turning in to the season of Teh Suck.
Too many characters, too many long-winded story lines, too many locations, and WAY too many subtitles. Indeed, it was torture watching this episode.
2 of 18 | Posted by Firthguy | Posted on November 1, 2007 7:52 AM
This show is tearing me apart. For example, after I got done watching this episode, with the paintings, and HRG, and the future destruction thing, I thought WOW! It is finally going somewhere! Great episode.
And then I look back on the episode and realized that aside from the HRG storyline, I hated all the subplots. It has been that way all season.
I hate Claire and emotard, I hate Molly, I hate Hiro and Kensei, I have the wondertwins, I want the Peter storyline to speed up, and although I like Monica's power, I really don't like her storyline.
Watching the episode, I thought it was good, but looking back, not so much. Shouldn't there be a shelf life longer than three days?
Friday Night Lights on the other hand, I have been thinking about that for a week, and, as dumb as it sounds, Supernatural.
What has happened to TV this year? Everything is going downhill. (Insert overwrought sob here).
3 of 18 | Posted by fnllover | Posted on November 1, 2007 11:36 AM
Yeah... I'm tired of the Claire/Emotard storyline... I can't stand the whiney twin duo and can't wait for them to die (get im sylar!)..
I don't mind the Hiro storyline though... but I wish it would speed up a bit... Get to a point.
And yeah... HRG storyline is good, also like Monica and I like the Peter storyline as well, but also wish it would speed up some.
They spoiled us the first season with how fast everything happened and then decided to sloooooooow it down too much this season.
4 of 18 | Posted by shollia | Posted on November 1, 2007 11:48 AM
i'm sure you meant bring it on 4. there already is a bring it on 3....and claire bennett is in it.
5 of 18 | Posted by kevintheomanharris | Posted on November 1, 2007 11:53 AM
I still think that people are being too hard on this show.
I hate the emotard, as you all know, I think he's a horrible actor. But I like Peter's story line.
I think that the Hiro story is about to kick into second gear, and we can't compare the future devestation to last season. Last season we delt with an explosion in a city. This season is about a plauge that knocks out 93% of the world.
6 of 18 | Posted by neillfilm | Posted on November 1, 2007 12:18 PM
kevintheomanharris: Thanks for reminding me, sometimes I try to forget there are already 3 Bring it Ons. That, and there are 3 Free Willy movies...
Do you think this season can be salvaged? Or at least turned into a drinking game? Sweeps are here.
7 of 18 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on November 1, 2007 12:20 PM
Great recap T.Vo! Umm loved the "in Soviet Russia, memories forget you!" Hilarious.
I want so badly to like this season. I keep giving it more and more chances. I think they can still bring it back if they introduce one driving force behind all of the heroes... is it too late for that?
I thought they partnered Mohinder with Jessica, so if he tries to flip she can school him...
Sylar is a MEGA CREEP! Although, how exactly does he intend to get his powers back from Mohinder when M would kill Sylar if he had the chance?
Way too much going on, Claire is lame and Feudal Japan makes me want to rip out all my hair and light myself on fire.
Oh well. I'll give it a bit longer (read: rest of the season).
8 of 18 | Posted by pachita | Posted on November 1, 2007 1:09 PM
The Yako Smirnoff reference was hilarious, and I hope more plotlines take place in the old Soviet bloc so you can re-use them. In any case, the HRG storyline is the only well deveoped one. I cannot stand the way blackpeople are written in this show. I am suprised she didn't pop open an OE 40, sew a uniform out of FuBu gear and have a training montage to "Mamma said knock You out."
2 storylines that have to go or speed way the f up is Hiro's bs and Claire's bs. The only thing I like about these scens is it gives me a chance to refil my Brita and take a crap.
9 of 18 | Posted by mattypopo | Posted on November 1, 2007 4:06 PM
About the canadians not locking their doors thing, in the documentary bowling for columbine, he actually asked some canadians about that and most of them said that they do not lock their doors. I guess I am different from pretty much everyone else who reads your recap, because i actually like claire and this season.
10 of 18 | Posted by preppyboy6 | Posted on November 1, 2007 7:56 PM
This season does seem to drag (maybe it needs an injection of shark stem cells, ala FNL), but it is too early to give up. I did lower it's priority on the DVR record list.
Thanks for the recap!
11 of 18 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 1, 2007 8:51 PM
I really wanna enjoy your recaps, but...
Enough with all of the racial references when recapping Monica's character. She's black. We get it. Har har. What makes your remarks even more obviously racist (and unfunny) is that Monica doesn't even use the typical hip hop slang, so when you use it - it just reads as ignorant:
1. "Girl just wants to manage a Burger Bonanza, yo."
2. "Monica should trust her gut instinct, which is "Don't trust white people" and get the hell out of there."
Mohinder's not white, hun. And he's fine, so duh. A teenage girl would have no problem following him to show him some of her EXTRAORDINARY "moves".
3. Also, Bring It On 3 (Jump or Get Served)? That movie actually already exists, so yet another lame, racist joke.
Re: "Worst. Plotline. Ever."
No, that award goes to the Fake Feudal Japan Where the Amazingly Useless Yaeko Who Can't Tell the Difference Between Round Anglo Blue Eyes and Squinty Japanese Brown Eyes plotline.
Seriously. It took her hand over Hiro's nose and mouth to see that he was Mr. Cherry Blossoms? It was at that moment, that my suspension of disbelief with this show was unsuspended...forever.
12 of 18 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 4, 2007 9:59 AM
So I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt and keep reading this lame-ass recap and you do it again!
"Seriously, don't tell me that color choice is not intentional, we already had the African-America girl with the chocolate cupcake shoved in her face earlier. "You're like my own personal Oprah," says Monica, whose distrust of white people seems to be fading. Bob tells her to save N'awlins, and seems slightly nicer - what's going on?"
Really, ENOUGH already about Monica being black. The only person who's noticing all of these "racial coincidences" is YOU. Black is the most popular iPod color. Only a racist person would equate the black iPod with a black person. Also, whenever someone keeps referring to a black person as "African-American", obviously that person is trying too hard to be PC. The show's not obsessed with race, YOU are.
13 of 18 | Posted by Blahblah | Posted on November 4, 2007 10:09 AM
"Except the well-endowed part."
Is this your idea of funny? Referring to a stereotype of Asian men's small penises? Btw, it isn't like white men (Kensei) are known for large penises. You are just unbelievably racist and your "jokes" are very offensive.
14 of 18 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 4, 2007 10:20 AM
don't kill the messenger: she's just fulfilling her duties as recapper with an opinion.
keep it up, t.vo. youre awesome.
if there are any complaints, id take it up to NBC brass -- they could use a reality check on the way they greenlight depictions of other races.
t.vo doesnt air heroes. the peacock does.
hugo
15 of 18 | Posted by jooce129 | Posted on November 4, 2007 10:51 PM
Seriously, I think this show is the one employing retarded racial stereotypes and not our recapper. This whole New Orleans plotline designed play on our heartstrings and sympathies by exploiting the tragedy that has happened there has rubbed me the wrong way since the beginning.
16 of 18 | Posted by dreamstorm | Posted on November 5, 2007 10:54 AM
The show does seem to be fond of racial (and other) stereotypes. T.Vo takes it a bit further but I always saw that as making fun of the stereotypes portrayed in the show. For instance, the black iPod comment was too far out to be taken seriously. Also, I didn’t know that doubledutch and skateboarding were seen as typically "black" activities. Anyway, it gets kind of tiring.
And Blahblah, I don’t think T.Vo is the only one obsessed with race. You interpret almost everything in a racial context and most of the time it’s probably not meant that way.
And you and T.Vo both see things I don’t see, like the girl with the cupcake being black.
Like all discussions about race, this is probably going nowhere, but feel free to tell me if I’ve misunderstood any one of you.
17 of 18 | Posted by Bonk | Posted on November 8, 2007 5:14 AM
The show does seem to be fond of racial (and other) stereotypes. T.Vo takes it a bit further but I always saw that as making fun of the stereotypes portrayed in the show. For instance, the black iPod comment was too far out to be taken seriously. Also, I didn’t know that doubledutch and skateboarding were seen as typically "black" activities. Anyway, it gets kind of tiring.
And Blahblah, I don’t think T.Vo is the only one obsessed with race. You interpret almost everything in a racial context and most of the time it’s probably not meant that way.
And you and T.Vo both see things I don’t see, like the girl with the cupcake being black.
Like all discussions about race, this is probably going nowhere, but feel free to tell me if I’ve misunderstood any one of you.
18 of 18 | Posted by Bonk | Posted on November 8, 2007 5:16 AM