You know it's bad when your laptop virtually screams, "You're killing me, Smalls!" with the blue screen of death. I will return you to your regularly scheduled recaps on Monday once I finish playing catch-up with Heroes. What day of the week is it? What's my name again? Why do we love? Let's blame it on the Butterfly Effect.
Yes, your makeup looks fine. Let's go!
Chapter 2 is titled "The Butterfly Effect." Butterflies make me think of tramp stamps (tattoos on the lower back) on girls who tan themselves to match the color of Cheeto Puffs. I'm sure this is due to growing up in southern California, but I cannot deal with illustrations of butterflies of any kind. They're almost as bad as belly button piercings on girls who also have tramp stamps. Plus hair extensions and Juicy Couture velour tracksuits with a side of frayed denim miniskirts and Abercrombie & Fitch perfume. Which I've decided smells exactly like Eau d'Bebe Prostitute.
Casa de Bennet, Costa Verde, California
Claire and Mama Bennet are having an After School Special™ moment where they talk about Sylar violating her skull and brain. Question: Why the hell are they still in the house? Sure, I always feel incredibly safe traveling on an airline right after there's been an accident (I figure lightning usually doesn't strike twice, once you get it out of your system), but wouldn't you want to immediately flee after coming home to see your daughter in shock and bleeding? Oh hi, Sylar knows where you live. Why wouldn't he come back, since he figures Bennet still knows people with powers, powers that he can swipe? Guess he's gone off to find the villains.
He got what he came for. Her brain virginity.
Show me on Mr. Muggles where he touched you.
Mama B is uber worried about the lack of details Claire is giving her about the whole horrific incident. "Did he..." she trails off. "No, Mom, he came for my brain, not my boobs, even though I'm not the brightest crayon in the box."
Claire starts to panic about not feeling anything, as it looks like Sylar's disrupted her nerve endings, or perhaps they've finally just died off completely. She frets that despite always healing, she would experience pain and it made her feel human, the pain that she was once grateful for. Things are DIFFERENT, in case you didn't gather that.
Whoa. If she feels nothing, does that mean she literally can't have an orgasm? Since pleasure and pain both involve nerve endings and whatnot. Sadface.
New York General Hospital of Heroes
Mama Petrelli is having one of her crazy hallucination future-telling dreams. In it, Hiro is lifeless, stabbed in the chest with Kensei's sword, Parkman is dead (at least he made it out of the desert, right?), and someone's trying to kill Claire while pinning her against a wall. There are dead Heroes everywhere. DUN DUN DUN. The costume budget is running out or something, 'cause Claire has to recycle her cheerleading outfit. Must be laundry day in Heroesland.
Don't they have a Mervyn's around here? Dang, girl!
Still in her lucid acid dream, Mama P turns around to see Adam, Nikki (I don't care what you say, it's Nikki dressed up as a management consultant/i-banker) , Parkman's dad, Some Unnamed Black Guy (from the old school Heroes photo, methinks), and Sylar. Sweet dreams are not made of these. I can tell you that much.
She snarls at Peter, "This is all because you're not supposed to be here." She proceeds to berate her Future-Son for screwing with time.
Oh yes, and we learn about the Butterfly Effect, which is: you step on a butterfly today, three million people die tomorrow. Also, herpes.
Everything I need to know I learned from Jurassic Park and Back to the Future, thanks.
Mama P lays the smackdown on Future Peter, informing him that because he told Claire not to go to Odessa, she stayed home and had an extremely unfortunate day. She tells him to check on Claire, and we all know how that went down. It was a helluva lot worse than Alexander's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Remember that children's book?
New York: Lab of Mohinder Suresh. And Sex. But mostly Doom and Destruction.
« Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency: Nightmare Island | Main | House: You Gotta Fast Car »
Comments (7)
Okay -- I've only gotten this far: "Text away, engineer guy. She doesn't care." And OMG I laughed really loudly. And then I looked around guiltily. Maybe too soon? Actually, it was just really freaking clever and funny and so is the rest of your writing T.Vo. Oh, and my DH loves that baby commercial too.
Okay, time to post this and open another window so I can finish reading your hilarious recap in the 15 minutes it takes this to post to freakin TVGasm.
XOXOXO
Zbird
1 of 7 | Posted by zbird | Posted on October 3, 2008 10:11 PM
Omg. I was LOLing the whole time. great recap. I can't wait for the next one. Raised Collar. hahahahah
2 of 7 | Posted by chibby | Posted on October 4, 2008 12:30 AM
I think someone loves the Flight of the Conchords almost as much as I do! Also- fabulous job with the recaps. 2 thumbs up. Proverbial thumbs. Well- okay, actual thumbs too.
3 of 7 | Posted by Frisky Biscuit | Posted on October 4, 2008 4:18 PM
dtf = down to fuck
love your recaps! keep up the good work
4 of 7 | Posted by kristykristy | Posted on October 4, 2008 6:26 PM
You shouldn't be so mad at your computer. The blue screen of death allowed you the opportunity to be the superfamous celebrity that everyone's waiting for at the party but is being exceptionally fashionably late. Everyone gets all nervous and fidget-y as more and more time passes, until you arrive and there's a collective sigh of relief because you're the only reason we came anyway.
Anyway, point of my comment, I'm an utter nerd and your re-cap was totally worth the wait. Provided me tons of laughs and giggles, which I really needed right about now.
5 of 7 | Posted by narcissistic | Posted on October 5, 2008 5:55 AM
The reporter guy that confronted "Tracy" in the parking ramp also played the hero in the old TV show The Greatest American Hero.
6 of 7 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on October 6, 2008 10:03 AM
NIce to read you again, Tvo, very enjoyable, and interesting to see where these plot holes are taking us.
Love Mama P!!!! I don't mind if Mohinder pops like a giant zit, but call me crazy, can't Peter at any time go further back and restart it again . . .
I don't want to say much here, as I'm afraid I'll talk about the other episodes . . . can't wait to catch up!
7 of 7 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 6, 2008 4:10 PM