Testimonials

Maya prances into Mohinder's lab. He's role-playing Spiderman, all bronzed and topless and shiny sweaty like a Victoria's Secret angel. In short, ridiculous. Maya takes a second to take it all in (she's a slow one), but you can see that she's got what my friends in SF call DTF eyes. Extra points if you know what "DTF" stands for and leave it in the comments.

Mohinder's got this post-coital superhero glow thing going on (it's a lot like people on drugs) and Maya's unsure of whether or not to turn on her eyes to her Massacre setting.

Scientific Hubris In Action: "I've been monitoring my vitals!" Mohinder exclaims. I keep thinking he's gonna die or explode very soon, because this can't lead to any good. Heaven forbid any of our Heroes do something that doesn't have cosmic consequences that might cause the civilized world to collapse. The butterfly effect and nonesuch hey ninny ninny.

For all we know, every time Claire tosses her hair, a puppy's put into a blender set to puree. Every time Hiro blinks, Japanese tourists visiting Yellowstone National Park fall into Old Faithful. Every time Tim Kring decides to throw two episodes at me in one night, during the week in which I am traveling and then have a birthday (it was the 27th, last Saturday, thank you), my laptop falls to pieces and gives me the blue screen of death. It's all because of the fucking butterflies.

Mohinder claims that he's the same, but different. And better. Change. Progress. Hopeful progressive change full of hopeful progress with a side of ch-ch-ch-changes. Now he will give powers to everyone! He demonstrates his newfound physical prowess, and it feels very Revenge of the Science Nerds because Mohinder usually is the first to get knocked out in any scenario with powers involved. "This all came from you, Maya," gushes Mohinder, completely oblivious to Maya's panic attack. "It all came from inside that extraordinary body of yours."

BOW CHICKA BOW WOW.

Mass murdering with my eyes doesn't mean I don't take a Pilates class every once in awhile, okay?

Mohinder rips Maya's shirt off, in homage to the Incredible Hulk. I imagine roid rage is not far behind. Maya, easily distracted by rippling abs and the smell of Spiderman sex, complies easily.

In the sweltering desert somewhere, who knows when

Parkman is in the desert, hallucinating like he's eaten some of Homer Simpson's crazy chili peppers. You know, the ones that make you think you're on a spirit journey with a giant fucking talking turtle. And pyramids that grow out of the sand. Definitely.

Costa Verde, California

Sylar's sauntering and whistling a happy tune down the tree-lined street, when the camera switches to the perspective of two people in a car with a surveillance camera switched on. The two unnamed individuals rush out and attempt to shoot and kill Sylar or at least incapacitate him. Unfortunately for them, he's got Claire's powers of regeneration and swats them aside like rag dolls. Fail.

You got served.

Cut to Elle and Bob (the man with the Midas touch, remember?) at The Company, bickering as usual about the latest failed attempt. "Why do you always let me down? That's not fair to either of us, is it?" Bob asks Elle, in the monotone drawl that I associate with Clear Eyes™, for itchy, red eyes. Since David Anders and Kristen Bell are special guests, I'm guessing neither of them are sticking around for very long. Boo.

Yamagato Industries, Japan

Well, so much for sorting all those TPS reports, because they're everywhere, now that the speed demon woman streaked through the office. Her name is Daphne Millbrook, and she's a klepto/thief. Thanks to Google and Facebook, Hiro finds out she lives on 14 Rue Saint Jacques in Paris. Sneaky. Yatta! Ando wants to accompany Hiro on the next great adventure, but Hiro remembers the future where he thinks Ando killed him and left him behind. Again, ambiguous scenes mean that Hiro was only mildly zapped and that Ando would never have killed Hiro, since he didn't stab him in the heart or anything. It's all in how you interpret what you see, but okay, Hiro, go ahead and think Ando betrays and kills you. Didn't you learn better than to jump to conclusions? I have a mat for those things.

Tracy Strauss & Governor Malden, Washington DC

« Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency: Nightmare Island | Main | House: You Gotta Fast Car »

Posted in Heroes by T.Vo at 8:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: juddfan on Oct 6, 2008 04:10 PM.