Present Day, New York
"Reporter Missing Feared Dead" shouts the headline of the newspaper. Tracy is curled up on the floor with a phone. She takes a deep breath and calls up the detective involved with the case, and starts tearing up as she explains she knows what happen. Tracy chokes up, and as her emotions ramp up, the phone slowly starts to freeze, cutting off the connection. It's fully frozen by the time she realizes that it's not AT&T's fault, and the receiver shatters after she drops it. Okay, so I prefer Tracy to Niki/Jessica. I'll admit it. I also watch My Super Sweet Sixteen when I feel bad about myself. What of it?
Meanwhile, Mohinder is freaking about his inability to remove the ability from himself or Maya, and his premajure ejaculation issues compounded with the rubber cement-like goo that's oozing from his hands now. Gross. Use Purell, dude.
Stay off Spankwire and concentrate on fixing yourself.
There's a knock at the door. It's the meathead from Apartment 4, and he's pissed Mohinder meddled in his domestic affairs. Also, he's pissed about the economy going to hell and how his Asian investments are not going to pan out. Mohinder uses his idiot serum strength and grabs the guy by the face. I assume we'll never see him again. Although I'm not sure how Mohinder's going to ingest the guy. Soylent green is people!
Senator Petrelli's office, New York
Nathan is channeling his uber-Catholic spirit, wearing a giant signet ring and reading the Bible in office. Tracy strolls in and she confesses she's here to resign. She apologizes for dragging him into this mess and explains she can't continue. Nathan tries to get her to reconsider, but she's set on departing. Now, if they were better communicators, they'd both reveal that they had powers and make out. Sadly, this is not the case so crazy ol' dead man Linderman will have to save the day. This is turning into a Lifetime-Made-For-Born-Again-Christians soap. Blerg. Pray for guidance, and a couple of money trees.
Nathan looks expectantly at Linderman after Tracy leaves, and Linderman tells him to pray. Hmmph. Tracy's in trouble, because she's perched on the edge of a bridge and poises herself to jump. Ah, yes, suicide, the most selfish of all sins in the eyes of the Catholic church.
Anyway, Tracy jumps off as I rejoice and pump my fists and then promptly put them down because Nathan saves her just like Superman does to Lois Lane. Sure, why not play "Can You Read My Mind?" right now while I gag down some Drano. They're just so goddamn schmoopy in mid-air, I can't stand it! The cheese level is at orange.
Tracy is shakily drinking some straight whiskey while Nathan tries to make small talk. About that local sports team...OH WAIT, WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME YOU HAD POWERS? YOU CAN FLY? I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? Nathan affirms that yes, he can fly, even though she was just literally saved by his flying powers. Tracy offers to show him her tan line. And her powers, so she freezes his glass. What a waste of fine liquor, lady. He's impressed, and takes the opportunity to grab her hand and marvel that it's not even cold. Well, neither are her boobs, buddy.
Let's go to church, baby.
What's better than doing twins? Two out of three identical triplets. Giggity giggity. All I can think of right now is the Joey Lawrence PSA from l995 that went like this: "If she says no, and you do anyway, that's rape." The more you know!
Do you think Linderman's watching? He's gotta be a dirty ol' perv.
Four Year in the Future
On the television of the future, Nathan and Tracy are married. He's also the president. Fantastic, McCain must've swapped out Palin for Nathan. They basically rhyme, anyway. Costa Verde was wiped out when Sylar went nuclear, so that's 200,000 people gone. Also, this is a time for prayer.
Future Peter is lifeless, next to a semi-alive Present Peter. They're back in some clinical-looking room with The Haitian and Claire. She grabs a scalpel and declares she wants Peter to feel the pain of every single death that he caused. It's not convincingly evil at all, just pathetic. She slits him open and says, "That's one." Present Peter tries to persuade Future Claire that he won't be such a dipshit in the future and that the world doesn't have to end like this, and that he can save her again. Claire is immune to his charms and drags the scalpel down his chest again. Someone's been watching Saw.
« Aw, Craps. | Main | Ultimate Fighter: How to Win Friends and Influence People »
Comments (3)
damn.. i was really gonna quit watching this dumb show but reading your recap is so funny. how can I stop now...
1 of 3 | Posted by chibby | Posted on October 12, 2008 10:15 PM
Tvo, you have hit your heavenly stride!!!! Fantastic recap!!! My only complaint is, when I watch the show, I'm all like wow, and cool, and whoda thunk!? then I read the recap and realize, must have been the wine, coz in retrospect, it was pretty lame.
The Hiro arc is pain, and the desert quest, is a waste, the powers no powers stuff is making no sense. Oh well, Mama P still rocks, I like the total twist on Sylar and Peter, and frankly, I think Hayden and Ali both do pretty good in their roles. Hayden is only 18, and Ali is blisteringly beautiful, maybe I'm just mesmerized . . . . but I'm glad she's back, and also glad she's not saddled with bad mom guilt!
2 of 3 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 13, 2008 1:25 PM
chibby and juddfan -- Everything I do, I do for you. And everyone else who reads my recaps and bearing with my sleep-deprivation. You're the best, and I think Tim Kring got the memo about last season. I'm FINALLY caught up with the present/future now, and could not be more excited!
3 of 3 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on October 13, 2008 6:14 PM