Previously on Heroes...the episode had a semi-legible title. This week, I give you "Eris Quod Sum," which is Latin for "Yes, We Have No Bananas. Just Creepy Old Men. And Badass Sylar." Oh, also "You Will Be What I Am." What am I? Soon to be unemployed, so I really hope you won't become that.
I know the feeling. How many times can you call your boss a jackass before it catches up to you?
But really, here's the quick and dirty version of what happened. When we met our Heroes/Villains last, Peter knocked Sylar out and hooked him up to yet another IV, Peter got his face sucked off, Dementor-style, by Papa Petrelli, who now has his powers and basically everyone else's, Maya got jizz-webbed by Mohinder, Tracy and Nathan get sedated by Mohinder and Tracy froze Mohinder's hand, and the Puppet Man Eric Doyle makes the gals (Mama Bennet, Claire and a useless Meredith) play Russian roulette before Claire knocks him out with a root beer bottle.
Claire finds a Pinehearst card and spends half an hour trying to sound out the words, and Hiro and Ando finally meet the black Isaac in the desert. Hiro gets knocked out repeatedly with a shovel before he figures out he can sneak up on the mindreader just like Snake in Metal Gear Solid. Also, I'm kinda jobless after this Thursday, so please pardon my delinquency - I've been trying to figure out how to literally not starve. If you or someone you know is hiring, please let me know. I'm almost even willing to be Amy Strozzi's assistant. Almost.
I'll need some references. And your soul.
Spirit Walk Central, Desert of Dung
"I will not go back in time!" squeals Hiro. Ando tells him that's the only way, and he has to take these risks. Tell me that Hiro hasn't frozen time and squeezed the boobies of hot girls he sees during his travels. Black Isaac watches (I got tired of calling him the hipster/shaman/future-seer,k?). In the stenciled future-paintings, Knox is knocking a giant hole through a wall/enormous slab of steak, Papa Petrelli is standing in front of an ominous red background, and a man in a sweater vest is slicing open a skull. Is it Future Sylar/reformed Gabriel?
Hiro adamantly refuses to go back in time, lest he get trapped in another shitty storyline involving feudal Japan and falling cherry blossoms. "What could be worse? The end of the world?" says Ando. That's only marginally better than being stuck with that homewrecker Yaeko and putzing around in a kimono.
Black Isaac intones that evil forces are gathering, and that the dark sign rises - soon it will be too late! Voldemort will eat all their souls and make them slow dance to "All My Life" by KC and Jo Jo. FOREVER AND EVER, AMEN. This episode's "The More You Know" gem goes like this: Will you choose your path, or will it find you and clobber you in the head and then hump your leg after it knocks you down? Why would you ever pick the first one?
The end of ice cream?
Mohinder's Laboratory of Embarrassing Rashes
Tracy managed to shatter her cuffs last week, and freed Nathan too. However, before they have a chance to fly through the roof, Mohinder springs to his feet and barks that he's just trying to help Maya, because he promised to reverse her powers. He's pissed that Tracy and Nathan don't want to volunteer as his human samples, since they have the synthetic abilities and would be perfect test cases. Anywho, for some reason or other, Mohinder grabs Maya from her jizz-nest and leaps through the glass ceiling with her. Well, that's one way to overcome gender inequality, Maya.
Pinehearst, Peter's head
Peter's having acid flashbacks, and boy are they hazy. Nathan's telling him that their dad is dead in Season 1, and that their father was flawed in more ways than they knew. Cut to Papa Petrelli in silky blue pajamas in the wooden bed that looks like the wardrobe that leads to Narnia. Given what that man did last week in sapping his own son of powers, I'm pretty sure he ate Mr. Tumnus and all his woodland fauna friends, bloody rare. Peter recalls his dad trying to molest him with a hug, and remembers getting his soul sucked out of his face. Well, tough love, kiddo.
« Real World Road Rules Challenge: Episode 7: That Webster kid had a point | Main | Ugly Betty: High School Haunts You FOREVER! »
Comments (4)
I'm only on the first page and I'm already really loving this recap, Tvo. And I'm really sad about your job! :( It's good you learned that lesson about not calling your boss a jackass, though. Save that for when he/she leaves the room, silly. Passive agressive fun!
Okay, back to read the rest. I hope you find a new job quickly, and hopefully without selling your soul.
1 of 4 | Posted by zbird | Posted on October 28, 2008 7:00 PM
I would invest in Primatech—they make blank canvases on which to put my hopes and dreams.
2 of 4 | Posted by nuprin | Posted on October 28, 2008 9:57 PM
Great recap. Molly btw was disposed of somewhere at the beginning of the season. It was a one sentence explanation, I think over the phone. I imagine they wanted to get rid of the child actors since they are obviously too costly with the rest of the bloated cast.
I think there has to be at least one hero killed each episode. Shouldn't be too hard if Sylar and Papa Petrelli have even temporarily joined forces especially with Peter out of the mix.
3 of 4 | Posted by Fitz | Posted on October 29, 2008 3:04 PM
Aw, thanks, zbird --fortunately, I didn't sass my boss or hide anyone's stapler in a cake mold filled with Jell-O. I'm just leaving to pursue writing full-time. However, I have fantastic timing, don't I?
Fitz, you're right. Mohinder appears to have dumped her somewhere at the beginning of the season, but they brought Molly back for that future segment with Parkman/Daphne and their future baby -- which leads me to wonder if Primatech/Pinehearst will do battle for her in the future.
I think Sylar's secretly pledging his allegiance to Mama P, but I'm guessing Knox will get knocked off pretty soon.
4 of 4 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on October 30, 2008 12:20 PM