Elle grits her teeth and snits that Claire's perfect, and that she's not, what could she possibly need since she's still healing? Claire waxes emo about how she can't feel pain and how it's a shame she still cares about the world because she's thisclose to becoming an apathetic nihilist who doesn't touch up her highlights regularly or get pedicures. Elle whimpers a bit more about being in agony from her chronic arthritis and hemorrhoids and PMS and that electric sparks issue. Claire's face lights up and she asks Elle to prom. Prom that's conveniently being held at Pinehearst.
Claire gets excited about this ingenious and cleverly inventive idea. Let's go visit a company whose card you last saw at the Puppet Dungeon Master's Playhouse, the same card you saw in the possession of the tortured Vortex Man who threw himself into an infinity black hole, a company that Elle is clearly suspicious of since Daphne isn't the most convincing recruiter. Genius, really. It's called Wikipedia, and you should try it sometime.
So yes, let's take a trip to visit the Wonderful Wizard and not do any research or bring along real adults with useful powers, or even any tasers, since one blondie has passive regenerative powers and the other blondie is bound to accidentally short circuit the plane, train and/or automobile the duo takes to New Jersey. New Jersey, where only the strong survive, need I remind you. Who needs weapons when you have heart? May this end just like Thelma and Louise, but with more fire.
And less Brad Pitt.
Pinehearst Castle o' Pain
Daphne enters the room to a stern Papa Petrelli, who informs her that she has a mess to clean up regarding Matt Parkman. Gulp. Papa Parkman's present as well. Knox is there to smell her fear - he's starting to remind me of dogs that sniff your crotch because they know you're on your period - and Daphne attempts to save her butt. Fail.
Papa Petrelli informs our favorite Speedster that her assignment has changed. She not only has to revisit Parkman, she has to kill him. Daphne freaks. Arthur, aka Papa Parkman, also freaks out, surprisingly, since his actions last season indicated that he didn't really care if his son lived or died.
Papa Parkman stands in between Papa Petrelli and Daphne, pleading with Papa Petrelli that he'd pledged his loyalty in exchange for saving his son. Deal or no deal? NO DEAL! Also, the suitcase is full of dirty underwear. Papa Parkman's incredulous that Papa Petrelli could even go back on their deal, and retardedly doesn't use his powers to trap Papa Petrelli. You have powers to read and control minds, goddammit! Be useful for once!
Do you think Papa Petrelli already stole Papa Parkman's powers? And picked a peck of pickled peppers while he was at it? I have so many questions.
Well, never mind the questions. Papa Petrelli, with a flick of his hand, snaps Papa Parkman's neck. Papa Parkman slumps to the ground immediately. "Thanks for your loyalty," smarms Papa Petrelli. Ice cold. Bitch is the new black, Tina Fey was right.
The Fear Factor in the room is through the roof, as Daphne begs for another way out. It's not going to be pretty, Speedster. Oh hey, on a side note, where in the world is Molly?
No, I won't throw a piece of popcorn into your mouth. Get to work.
Casa de Bennet, Claire's bedroom
Mama Bennet vainly tries to get Claire to stay put. Well, Mama B, Claire can't actually do anything useful besides regenerate, so theoretically you could technically tie her to a chair or handcuff her to the shower. Personally, I'd cut her in half and keep the parts separate so she can't run away again. Half in the freezer and half in the closet next to the Christmas decorations. It's for her own good! And she can't feel pain, so to hell with the maternal guilt. I really hope that if I ever have children, despite the fact that I do not have childbearing hips and it has been decided by my friends and family that I would probably die during the act of childbirth, they won't read these recaps and think I'm an awful person. Once they can read, I'm totally giving them a disclaimer about how I'm going to hell and by the transitive property, they probably are going too.
« Real World Road Rules Challenge: Episode 7: That Webster kid had a point | Main | Ugly Betty: High School Haunts You FOREVER! »
Comments (4)
I'm only on the first page and I'm already really loving this recap, Tvo. And I'm really sad about your job! :( It's good you learned that lesson about not calling your boss a jackass, though. Save that for when he/she leaves the room, silly. Passive agressive fun!
Okay, back to read the rest. I hope you find a new job quickly, and hopefully without selling your soul.
1 of 4 | Posted by zbird | Posted on October 28, 2008 7:00 PM
I would invest in Primatech—they make blank canvases on which to put my hopes and dreams.
2 of 4 | Posted by nuprin | Posted on October 28, 2008 9:57 PM
Great recap. Molly btw was disposed of somewhere at the beginning of the season. It was a one sentence explanation, I think over the phone. I imagine they wanted to get rid of the child actors since they are obviously too costly with the rest of the bloated cast.
I think there has to be at least one hero killed each episode. Shouldn't be too hard if Sylar and Papa Petrelli have even temporarily joined forces especially with Peter out of the mix.
3 of 4 | Posted by Fitz | Posted on October 29, 2008 3:04 PM
Aw, thanks, zbird --fortunately, I didn't sass my boss or hide anyone's stapler in a cake mold filled with Jell-O. I'm just leaving to pursue writing full-time. However, I have fantastic timing, don't I?
Fitz, you're right. Mohinder appears to have dumped her somewhere at the beginning of the season, but they brought Molly back for that future segment with Parkman/Daphne and their future baby -- which leads me to wonder if Primatech/Pinehearst will do battle for her in the future.
I think Sylar's secretly pledging his allegiance to Mama P, but I'm guessing Knox will get knocked off pretty soon.
4 of 4 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on October 30, 2008 12:20 PM