We start where we left off last week. Claire and Hiro are watching Daddy Sulu hand off baby Claire to HRG. HRG's like "baby? I ain't ready for no baby!" and Daddy Sulu's all "you ready! Me no asky!" He bends a little and promises the help of Steve Guttenberg and Tom Selleck if HRG really gets in a bind. Did you know that Star Trek's Spock directed Three Men and a Baby? News to me. I just found out when I googled Guttenberg. I also found a video of Steve Guttenberg jogging through Central Park with no shorts on. Seriously. The things I'm learning at this gig.

Point is, Claire and Hiro watch all this go down from the greenhouse, where they try to get past their language barrier. Claire wants to know how the hell she got back to the past and what she's supposed to do there, but all Hiro knows from one semester in English is "where is the bathroom?" "me want waffle" and "sucky fucky five dolla".

Uh...waffle then.

Daddy Sulu tells HRG to scram and calls Kid Hiro, who is way more intelligent and mature than Adult Hiro pretending to be ten, inside to see his mommy. AdultKid Hiro yelps MOMMY! and follows them inside to the master bedroom, where Kid Hiro's mommy is sick. She gives the kid hugs and he's back to his Game Boy while she talks to Daddy Sulu about how she's gonna drop dead tonight and they need to make arrangements for the catalyst. He gets tears in his eyes, but she tells him to drop the act. "You are free to have big a gay wedding tomorrow." At that news, he cheers up and confirms that he won't be inviting William Shatner to Big Gay Wedding ceremony. Wait til the future! Shatner's gonna be pissed!

Daddy Sulu says he is going to call HRG and have him bring back the baby to put the catalyst in. Dude, why didn't you just do it when you had the chance? Like five minutes ago? I always thought of Daddy Sulu as being a bit more organized than that. Mommy Sulu doesn't want to put it in the baby, she wants to put it in Kid Hiro, but Daddy S won't hear of it because Kid Hiro is mildly retarded and can't even get a four line puzzle block on Tetris. She says they can argue about it later. Later? Aren't you gonna die like any second?

Daddy S goes to order a groom and groom wedding cake topper and think about it, leaving Kid Hiro and Mommy Sulu alone. There is a birdcage next to the bed (that can't be healthy for a sick woman. Just saying) with a dying dove in it. Kid Hiro is all upset about it, so Mommy Sulu kisses the dove and restores it's health. Aw! Too bad she can't use this healing gift on herself. I wonder if she even tried. If I was her I would be making out with the back of my elbow right now. I mean I do that anyway but still. She might be a fantasy makeout session away from saving her own life.

Tim Kring's respectful nod to bestialists everywhere.

AdultKid Hiro and Claire see all this and figure out why they're there. Hiro has to have his mom heal his brain and Claire needs to stop Daddy Sulu from injecting her with the catalyst. That way, her life won't be in danger, Hiro's will be. How thoughtful. Claire runs off, and when Hiro turns around, Daddy Sulu is there holding a pink garter belt and a sack of rice. He thinks Hiro is the new cook, and tells him to go make dying mommy Tamagoyaki, which I think is like matzo ball soup. Or pizza. Or horseburger who the hell knows? Hiro doesn't look scared enough, so Daddy Sulu flashes him gay vengeance eyes.

Sasha Fierce

Wow. That was an entire six minutes for one storyline!!! WTF? Does this mean that starting now the new writers are in charge? My fingers are crossed. Cut to the luxury purgatory that Hiro sent Elle and Sylar to. Elle is still dead. Wah. Sylar answers a call to her cell phone. HUH? Where are they? Costa Verde? Come on Hiro, make an effort here. Siberia, Alaska, Jesus you sent them a bus ride away.

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Posted in Heroes by Flipit at 9:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: chooch850 on Dec 13, 2008 10:39 AM.