Nathan stops her and asks why she keeps scratching all the X-Men's off the Wikipedia page she's spouting and she says that she doesn't want to get NBC into the uncomfortable position of actually having to pay for the rights to shit she's stealing because they might decide to kill her off. Again. She explains that once the formula is perfected, they will be able to give people specific powers, so they've chosen "good people" for this army. Meet the good people.
Claire shows up at an old gross apartment building and guess who's there? Her mom and baby Claire! But like 16 years ago! Holy Vaseline on the lens. The poor woman looks like she's wearing a mask.
Thankfully, they don't try to pin up her pirate eye. ARGH, wench!
How the hell did Claire know where she was? Who cares? She introduces herself as Bonnie and ingratiates herself by acting all cute and nice. The baby is crying and Pirate Mom doesn't know what to do because her husband just dumped the kid on her and ran back to his very important busy life as a paper salesman. Big Claire says the baby is crying because "she must be wet and doesn't know how to tell you." LOL. She totally remembers being wet that day and having an idiot for a new mom. Pirate Mom admits that she doesn't know what she's doing, and Claire says that she's a great babysitter and will teach her a thing or two. What do you have to teach her? You can drop that baby, drown it, start it on fire and she'll be fine. She's idiot proof.
I'll take care of your baby if you bleach my eyebrows. Quid pro quo, Clarice.
Sue Landers, the possible Curves carpooler from Elle's phone, shows up at her office. Everyone tells her happy birthday and when she gets to her office it's filled with happy birthday balloons and a stripper that's dressed like a delivery man. He gets ready to start smacking her face with his giant...wait sorry. It's just Sylar. Dammit. He says that he has a delivery for her and then the camera shakes like there's about to be a fake earthquake. She senses that he's lying. Sy has completely dropped the goody two shoes act. It's like someone just came right into the writers room and cut the stupid out. Love it. Sylar is very up front with Sue, saying he covets her lie detector ability and is gonna steal it from her. "It's not gonna hurt a bit. Got me! That's a lie." Cheesy and wonderful. He doesn't even try to front with the whole "empathy" bullshit and gets right down to slicing her skull open. YAY! Empathy's for suckas!
Way to splurge on the special effects, guys.
Sue's office friends come in with gifts shouting Happy Birthday. They're fat and homely, which is completely unacceptable on this show (except for Parkman, who's the token. Kinda like how the Haitian is the only black character allowed to live.), so Sy slams the door behind them and kills them too. Welcome back, Sy! I'm feeling strange. Am I actually enjoying Heroes again? Wait let me just shut up right now before they cut to the f ing comic book shop or some shit.
Let this be a lesson to us fat homely people. If you see TV cameras, run for your lives!
Nathan isn't as comfortable doing a complete character turnaround in less than an episode like the other actors, so he sits down with one of the military guys in training for a deep sensitive talk. He says that the drug he is going to be given is going to completely change his life. Is he ready? The Marine answers that he's always been insecure about his weird nostrils and wants to become a different person. Also, he was in Iraq and was one of the only surviving members of his squad after an attack. It made him feel weak and he never wants to feel like that again. Personally, I think ducking is a highly underrated skill. Well done, kid! Nathan says they will make him a superhero, but they won't be able to do anything about his nostrils. The kid starts sobbing.
Come on, kid. You're still very handsome. You just have to check for bats in the cave more often than regular people. What's the big deal?
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Comments (7)
Ummmm... How did Papa Petrelli get to the past to take Hiro's powers/the catalyst without having Hiro's powers to time travel??? Did he take them in Africa when he reverted Hiro to a 10 yr. old? How did he get to Africa? Shit, I should probably not try to overthink this, huh?
Also... Marine with nostrils = Mary's gay boyfriend Chad from Saved!!! So exciting!
1 of 7 | Posted by lizzypants | Posted on December 11, 2008 11:45 AM
He had the time travel power because PETER had it (from Hiro) and he stole Peter's powers. And I'm assuming he knew Hiro/Claire were going to be there at that time because...he can paint the future...i guess?
2 of 7 | Posted by tebtosca | Posted on December 11, 2008 12:10 PM
Great recap. I especially liked the extra comments for the commercials this time. Just a few things Papa Petrelli got the regeneration powers at the beginning of the season from Adam Monroe. Second while Hiro lost his powers I don't think he has reverted to 10 again. Lastly thank you for explaining how Petrelli Sr. could teleport, I never even considered that he had Peter's powers and I was finding that confusing.
3 of 7 | Posted by Fitz | Posted on December 11, 2008 3:50 PM
long time reader, first time poster. i had to register to say: does anyone else think Sue Landers was kind of a Sarah Palin-lookalike?
love the recaps!
4 of 7 | Posted by shouldbeworking | Posted on December 12, 2008 8:11 AM
Love the recap, Flipit! Hilarious as always.
So funny about the WaMu blurb - I just found out that everyone at my company that banks with them DID NOT GET THEIR DIRECT DEPOSIT TODAY. WaMu claims a "system upgrade", I say FAIL.
5 of 7 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on December 12, 2008 12:31 PM
Loved the recap flip! I too got teary when Hiro growed up after mom's Regenerist kiss. Absolutely adored the cross out paragraph--too funny!!!
Hope they answer your prayers, but there's only one left this season--you must be so relieved.
And I regularly let people strap me to chairs and inject me, helps pass the time, ya know!
Meet ya in the caf, I hear the jello is kick ass today!!!!
xoxoxo
6 of 7 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on December 12, 2008 3:07 PM
Why am I still watching? Why are you still recapping? We are all gluttons for punishment, I guess. The story starts to get good and they tag-team in another writer & nothing makes sense again. He gets tired of making things up & in comes another writer & off we go in another direction..........arghhhh!
But the one shining light is your recaps. They make more sense than this show!!! (wait, is that a compliment?)
7 of 7 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on December 13, 2008 10:39 AM