Testimonials

Oh, God. Parkman, Daphne and Ando are still on this show? I was hoping this whole new direction thing meant they would be swept under a rug. Or hit by a bus. Or the blackhole handed guy would come back and get mad about something and just suck them into a void. They arrive at a bike messenger headquarters in NYC. How? Daphne has sped run them all there. How does that work, exactly? You know she didn't carry Parkman's fat ass. Stupid. ANYHOO, the weasel at the front desk says he doesn't know anything about any sketches from any artist from last year. And why the hell would he know about some random delivery a year ago when he deals with hundreds if not thousands of deliveries a day? Because this is Heroes. Parkman cruises him deep and finds out that not only does he know about the sketches, but he's been skimming off the top! Well I'll be what luck to find the right guy on the first try! Sorry, I just hit myself. We all know it's stupid. Just get through it. Moving on. Messenger guy runs out with the sketches and jumps on his bike. Daphne speeds after him and makes him crash into a cab. There. See? Was that so hard?

Fat, homely and defeated. Shocker.

AdultKid Hiro is in his dad's kitchen trying to figure out how to make whatever the hell his dad told him to when he hears his parents talking. He goes to the bedroom door and listens. His mom wants to give the catalyst to Kid Hiro, and Daddy Sulu says no because he's a moron. I think we already saw this scene. This time, though, they're speaking Japanese, so Hiro can understand that his dad thinks he sucks balls. Metaphorically. AdultKid Hiro doesn't notice Kid Hiro behind him until he speaks up and says that his dad thinks he's a dodo bird. They both listen to their father diss them and push up their glasses at the same time. Cuteness.

Thank you for getting rid of the bowl cut.

Back at Pirate Mom's apartment, Claire warns Baby Claire not to date the guy who gave her crabs in her sophomore year when HRG walks in. Well, it's weird calling him that cuz he's not wearing his horn rimmed glasses in the past. I don't care, because I'm too lazy to come up with another name for him. He knows Big Claire is full of shit the minute he sees her and gets all pissed at Pirate Mom for letting her in. Claire tries to explain that she's a neighbor's niece, but he knows that neighbor doesn't have a niece. Past, Present, Future: Claire's incompetence is constant.

Claire says that she is there to protect the baby and the family. Pirate Mom comes in and starts asking questions and HRG's all get me a PBR woman and shut your face! She leaves and Claire has a monologue about how it's hard to be a dad at first but he'll get the hang of it and get really close to the little Claire Bear and eventually go all Mr. Myagi on her ass and teach her the choreography from Flashdance. He's touched. Bullshit! The old HRG would have shot her between the eyes before asking any questions. The phone rings. Claire says not to answer it because it's someone from the company who wants to take Claire and do something really bad to her. He assumes that she means child slavery or beauty pageants or something so he doesn't pick up.

I would like to take this moment to congratulate Keanu for finding yet another role that requires no emotion or facial movement.

AdultKid Hiro couldn't figure out how to make yamacaca so he threw some eggo waffles in the microwave to serve to Mommy Sulu. She says he looks familiar and tries to guess where she knows him from. Is he Don Ho? No. Is he the Benihana guy? No. Is he that young, sparking new comedian Margaret Cho? NO!

Aw. Even I was betting on Margaret Cho.

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Posted in Heroes by Flipit at 9:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: chooch850 on Dec 13, 2008 10:39 AM.