Testimonials

Man, that whole mind reading power can be a real puzzle sometimes. Papa P tells Linderman not to worry. He knows that if Nathan keeps digging, he'll find out his dad is the Dick Cheney of the relationship and put him in jail, too. Goal: to find an Asian who knows how to bend time so he can go back thirty something years and put on a condom. If that's too hard, he'll just have Peter killed. Daaaamn. Even Linderman's shocked at that one.

One year ago in Memphis, Claire's boring bio mom was robbing a convenience store with her brother, who turns out to be Flint the psycho hick with blue fire shooting out of his wrists. It's like Natural Born Killers, but instead of splattering blood everywhere and suggesting incestuous sex with Rodney Dangerfield, Meredith is scrambling to pick up Milky Ways off the floor and Flint is popping popcorn.

Oooh, scary. Next he's gonna burn the shape of a My Little Pony into a HoHo.

Flint notices that there's one customer who's not only not on the floor with everyone else, he's not paying attention to the Jiffy Pop trick at all. How rude! Flint goes to ask him the man if he could be a little more considerate towards Flint's feelings, but then the man turns around and it's Julia Robert's brother, Mr. Thompson, and he isn't considerate towards anyone's feelings and that's why Julia never calls him or lets him into her house. Flint tries to do the Jiffy Pop thing on Mr. Thompson's face, but he is stopped with a fire extinguisher. Well what a practical, witty way to fight psychopaths with nuclear capabilities!

Meredith tries to help her bro with a ball of fire, but she is a split second late because she was so preoccupied by the Milky Way in her mouth. Mr. Thompson has a stun gun. A fire extinguisher and a stun gun? Not only is this totally sensitive, but it must have taken some incredible placement skills to sneak both into the convenience store. He probably looked like a total perv. Flint runs, but Meredith surrenders, asking for enough time to finish the candy bar. Mr. Thompson shrugs and watches her chew, because in case you haven't noticed, he was very sensitive a year ago.

A year ago again. Sylar is about to hang himself in his watch repair store in Brooklyn because he feels so guilty about his addiction to smelling women's shoes and killing people for their super powers. Just as he kicks the chair out from under himself and starts to choke, Elle comes into the store and zaps the rope, dropping Sylar to the floor and saving his life. She asks him to say something, but all he can muster is "Forgive me." Then he starts sobbing in her arms. Poor Veronica Mars must be wondering if she'll ever book a show that doesn't require her to coddle weak, sobbing men.

Another one? Jesus. They need to stop putting so many hormones in milk.

Ladies, even if you decide to wear a skunk on your head, you should keep it shiny. Thanks, Stacy London!

Elle tries to tell Sylar that everything's ok, but he can't shake his depression. He's done lots of bad things. Elle's like, eh who cares everyone's a sinner. Say a few hail Mary's and he's like NO! I'm not normal! I'm a freak! I have black caterpillars for eyebrows and I want to kill people and steal their brains! And she's like eh everyone does that just donate some time to the brothers and sisters organization or something and he's like NO! I won't stop until I've killed the entire human race and Elle's like bore snore and seven years ago this conversation began. I have a Runaway Bride DVD in my purse, wanna order some pizza or something?

He refuses to be cheered up, so she pulls out her good girlfriend routine and tells him that he's a good person deep down and everything will be ok. If not, why would the rope have broken? It was a sign! A sign that he deserves a second chance, and Lasik apparently since he no longer needs glasses a year later. He cheers her up and calls her his angel. "An angel with daddy issues and a broken watch!"

Who knew the dawn of humanity's end could be so sweet?

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Posted in Heroes by Flipit at 4:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: KrispyDixie on Nov 30, 2008 11:40 PM.