Heroes: Now Hiring Monkeys with Typewriters

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Remember the Mad TV skit "Lowered Expectations"? Heroes was kind of like that this season, but I must say, they pulled it together by the end. Sorta. But I'm not really worried about the Shanti virus anymore, now that Ebola has broken out again in Uganda. You gotta credit those writers for being timely.

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Previously: Victoria Pratt proved herself efficient with a shotgun but still died at the hands of Adam, Elle monitored Claire and her family more poorly than an ankle bracelet, Monica decided to dress up like a ninja to disastrous results, Alejandro and Sylar duked it out for Maya, Bennet came back from the dead with his superdaughter's blood, Claire causes some damage to Elle's car (insurance policies don't cover spite), and Hiro went back in time multiple times, rendering Ando useless.

New York, New York

Mohinder arrives at his depressing Brooklyn apartment to see that Sylar and Maya are better surrogate parents to Molly than he and Parkman have been. Sylar has added some eco-friendly fluorescent lightbulbs and Maya is whipping up some chilaquiles in the kitchen. Sure beats generic frosted cereal and nightmare comas.

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Who wears this when Maya's not around?

I'm shocked that Maya isn't confused that she's shaking hands with a Dr. Suresh who is 40+ years younger looking than the book jacket, but I suppose Sylar told her that Dr. Suresh Senior died at some point. Also, Mohinder, why didn't you pick up a few guns or call The Company on the way back? Really, I'm disappointed in your conflict management skills.

Mohinder is horrified to find himself at a killer breakfast - that is, everyone sitting at the table has killed people, either intentionally with blows to the head, with shitty mascara, or with a Company-issued gun. As Maya gushes on excitedly about finding a cure for her affliction, Mohinder realizes she knows him as Gabriel Gray and not Sylar.There are no Mohinders in the Bible, though, so she can't dub him an angel.

Sylar says he also needs Mohinder's help, and that he was perusing his work on the laptop (smart people have password protection, but I expect too much). Mohinder has started mixing his blood with Claire's, presumably because they can't keep sampling Claire's or diluting it. The mixture restores people's powers after they've been afflicted with a strain of the virus. Maya lets it slip that Sylar has no powers at the moment, and that he perhaps is afflicted with the virus as well. Seeing his chance, Mohinder grabs his serrated bread knife and faces off with Sylar, who has a gun. Gun beats knife, kids.

Maya panics when she realizes how her woman's intuition is useless and that she gave it up to a greasy-haired killer (and is totally going to hell for that sin), so everyone's eyes start filling up with the blackness. Molly's screaming because it feels like summer camp all over again, when people tape your eyelids shut and saran wrap the toilet and swipe your towel before you get out of the shower. Sylar commands Maya to get control so she doesn't kill a sweet, innocent little girl. Maya is next on Sylar's shit list.

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Woman, make me a sammich!

With three lives at stake (but only 1.5 that I care about), Mohinder has no choice but to do Sylar's bidding. The Company should really issue GPS panic buttons like those given to old people. They reach Isaac's loft/lab, where Maya's all, "You're nothing like you were in bed," as Sylar smirks. He offers to take her powers if she doesn't want them, as Maya rues her brother was right. And dead. Sylar shows off the commemorative spot where he killed Isaac, right on the mural of New York blowing up on the floor.

Mohinder preps a reluctant Sylar for a blood sample, so he can figure out what strain, if any, of the virus Sylar has. Sylar is suspicious, demanding he just be given the remedy. Mohinder tells him he can't risk it, it might kill him. Sylar revels in the poetry of Mohinder's father helping him find his gift and Mohinder restoring it. Mohinder can't take the salt being rubbed into his wounds and barks that Sylar killed his father, to which Sylar counters, "He betrayed me. Don't make the same mistake." Mohinder angrily jabs the needle into Sylar's arm without even disinfecting the area. Maybe it's a leftover needle from Isaac's heroin junkie days that's been infected with Sylarnide.

Mohinder looks up hopefully at the security camera disguised as a beeping smoke alarm, taking his sweet time and praying that someone notices. Ah yes, of course. Elle's watching, because no one at The Company is actually paid to do surveillance.

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Comments (8)

RLR123:

I thought when she was talking about Pandora's Box she was reffering to Peter...

isthisawkward:

oh man. this season was SO disapointing. i hate it when heroes with awesome powers like peter or hiro DONT USE THEM TO THIER FULL ABILITIES!!! these writers really think we're idiots. my favorite parts are always when sylar or peter, are kicking someone's ass using multiple powers they've obtained. i mean, remember how sylar can hear really well? can he now manipulate visual space like that chick he killed early in the season? he's my favorite...

steez:

Such a short season =(

Thanks so much for your recaps T.Vo. I enjoyed reading up on Mondays in preparation for the new epi and will truly miss your wit & sarcasm.

Yes, I think we can all agree that the writers believe us to be idiots. Peter not reading Adam's mind whatsoever? And not realizing that he too could have saved Nathan without Adam's help at all? And the vault/virus thing = ridiculous. I seriously doubt that long term storage of the virus requires room temperature conditions. Another good point you made - teleporting into the vault. Why even have powers if you don't use them?! In any case, can't wait for it to start back up, hopefully Kring can redeem himself.

SnackyCakes420:

Your recaps have been great and more entertaining than the actual show! "Dey took our jebs" Loves it.

If a show is good I am usually willing to suspend most of my disbelief and overlook some inconsistencies for the sake of the story, but it's just annoying how unbelievable this show has gotten. I know Mohinder was freaked out Sylar had Molly, but seriously, he didn't even call Bob??

And I still don't understand why Mohinder put so much trust in the Company or why Peter put so much trust in Adam. So what if he gave your brother some of his blood, it's not like it cost him a big sacrifice. If you knew your blood could help heal people and you just found out your new friend's brother was disfigured and near death from trying to save the world, wouldn't you kind of be a dick NOT to help?

I'm also sad Sylar didn't get to take Maya's power before he fled. Hopefully he catches up with her soon.

T.Vo:

steez and SnackyCakes -- Thank you so much for your support, it means a lot to me! Recapping this season of Heroes has been a labor of love, especially when the show starts to assume its viewers lack critical thinking abilities and drags out plotlines like Feudal Japan.

I'm hoping that the next volume redeems itself, "Villains" has so much potential -- Tim Kring could really benefit from hiring some of us as show consultants. For realism's sake.

Maybe they can give Peter a lobotomy or brain transplant next volume. There's a spare in the Company vault.


redhaiku:

Damn you, bank vault!

If only I could walk through walls...


Ohhh... wait...

bone:

bone loves T.Vo's recaps.

mattypopo:

T.Vo,

Good recaps all season. I think Kring could benefit from hiring the monkeys with typewrites you speak of next season, or baboons-they work for scale.

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