Parkman teaches Hiro to say "holy crap" and they rush towards a farmhouse. As they do, the eclipse begins! Papa knows where they are because he just drew a super vague picture of two guys with squinty eyes hanging out with a fat dude in a cornfield. He's furious and throws his drawings on the ground. Meanwhile, Suresh, mortified by his earlier scene involving face makeup, lays down and gets a facial.
Whale sperm is expensive, but it takes five years off.
Jesus. Can we blame this mess on the eclipse, too?
Suresh wakes up in his pod thing and breaks out of it. Heroes porn! My review, nice bum, but he's built like a Ken doll in the front. Sad horns.
Not gonna be having any Suresh babies any time soon.
The first thing he does, predictably, is run to the mirror to check his face. No more scales! Hurahh! Strike off! The eclipse changed him back to normal, boring personality free Suresh. We missed ya, buddy! In Haiti, Nathan has lost his powers too and he and Peter fall from the sky. Thank goodness for that swamp, eh? Peter, who's not usually the sharpest tool in the shed, thinks it must be because of the eclipse, since they all got their powers during an eclipse. Nathan blames the Haitian, who must be nearby; or, as he puts it, "maybe it's this whole damn country." You just got to Haiti and already you're slamming it. That's just rude.
They walk through the jungle and come across some cabbage patch dolls hanging from a tree. Peter explains that they are messengers and cries for redemption. Dang. I never took mine so seriously. And yes, I had multiple Cabbage Patch dolls. Discuss.
In Kansas, Parkman knocks on the farmhouse door and asks an old dude to speak with Daphne. He says she's not home, but Parkman shouts out for her anyway. She tells him to go away. The old man won't let him pass, so Parkman starts making jowly faces and squinting his eyes, trying to brainwash the guy, but nothing happens. The old man tells him that he has no problem with gay people, but he doesn't appreciate being cruised on his own porch.
Take a hike, Mary!
Inside the house, the old guy asks Daphne who the fatso is but she refuses to tell him. He doesn't want to pelt her with questions, but she's been gone for a long time. She breaks down and tells him that "it's happening again." He gets sad and says that he still has "them". Then Daphne tries to cry. It's almost touching.
In the jungle, Nathan and Peter get to the edge of a cliff. Damn Nathan got them lost. His Blackberry was ruined in the swamp. Peter gets pissed and demands that he not be treated like the idiot little brother and Nathan counters that Peter's a dumbshit and needs his life saved all the time and if he wants his respect he has to earn it. Peter says he doesn't need respect from a spineless puppet and that in the future, Nathan chooses Papa P. Nathan tries to pretend that that doesn't mean anything and says that he's here now lost in the jungle and that's what matters. So he becomes the leader of the free world, betrays his people, and brings on Armageddon. Get over it.
In the deserted house, Claire is finishing up her Maniac routine and she's exhausted. HRG hands her a broken floor board and tells her to hit him. She won't so he says that she needs to get all of her childhood issues out. She gets worked up and starts swinging while ranting about him never being home when she was a kid and wahwahwah. I liked it better when she was dancing, but she's now suddenly an amazing fighter. One scene and she's freakin Bruce Lee. She almost kills him, then stops and tries to get ahold of herself. He wants to talk it out, but thankfully Elle and Sylar show up to put an end to this nonsense.
I heard Flashdance. You will all dieeeee!
Elle tries to use her powers, but they're gone. Sylar tries to take HRG's gun with the swipe of his fingers, but he can't. It's kinda hilarious watching him move his fingers around like he's playing on an iPhone and failing miserably. "WHY DOES SAFARI KEEP CRASHING GODDAMMMMIIT!?!?!" HRG doesn't shoot him, which is stoooopid. Sylar jumps him and they roll around on the ground. We hear Sylar's bones crack. Elle grabs the gun and aims for HRG, but Claire uses her new professional dance moves and shuffles off to buffalo in front of the bullet.
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Comments (5)
"OW my face! I just whale spermed you bastard!"
Very funny indeed. I also especially enjoyed Claire's workout routine. Thanks for the recap flipit, hope your thanksgiving was off the hook.
1 of 5 | Posted by Tadow | Posted on November 28, 2008 4:27 AM
I know this is a fantasy show and they're a little liberal with the whole "Science" thing, but do they really expect us to believe that a full solar eclipse could last an hour and take place in NYC, Kansas, and Haiti at the same time????? The earth is round for chrissake! They pulled this crap in season one, but I didn't care because I had a brilliant plot and decent dialogue to distract me. Now... not so much.
2 of 5 | Posted by themiki | Posted on November 28, 2008 10:36 AM
yeah they seem to have lost all touch with reality.
and thanks tadow!! it's always good to see you. i am trying to catch up on my recaps but i still can't move. turkey and vodka. ouch. happy t!
3 of 5 | Posted by flipit | Posted on November 28, 2008 12:36 PM
this. show. sucks.
it's hard to watch. seriously. but GREAT call on the ripping off of lost. it's so true. on the big reveal DUN moment where we see daphne unable to walk, my knee-jerk reaction was, "locke." so whatevs.
would it be possible to kill everyone off except sylar and restart fresh? i stopped watching this crap live last season, but it's about to receive the ultimate indignity: getting canned from my season pass list on my tivo.
4 of 5 | Posted by baymenxpac | Posted on December 1, 2008 7:54 AM
Oh, dear sweet flip, how'd ya get saddled with this turkey!? Once again, the show kinda whirled on by without too much thought in my head, but seeing it disected here, mmmm, lame . . . . I hate it when I love a new show, and then it sucks donkeys!!!!
Well, I'm with Tadow, too funny, note to self, must find whale sperm! Anything to protect my skin from such scales . . .
I wont even comment on the show, tho, not even Mohinders bum can make me stop hating him and holding the FF while he whines and disects and craves some Maya tang . . . Hiro too, and oh yeah, that piece of wood that plays papa, how is it that Mama Patrelli and Claire's Mom are two of the finest actresses I've seen on these types of shows, and he is one of the worst I have ever seen, ever . . . more Momma's!!!!
5 of 5 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on December 3, 2008 4:18 PM