Testimonials

"I'm sorry Peter," says Claire. "I always loved you." Bang! Future Scarface Peter slows down the trajectory of the bullet as Claire tries to shoot him in the face. I can't even watch right now. It's vaguely insulting to the audience's intelligence, like last season's finale where Peter didn't just walk through the walls of the vault, but had to help Adam through. Future Peter light-speed teleports into an unmarked janitorial/utility closet after swiping Future Claire's gun. Future Claire snaps back into time once Peter disappears and does her best to look perplexed/concerned that he got away and isn't dead on the ground. The poor girl has no idea how her gun got stolen, either. It's really hard for Hayden Pannettiere to look any more lost than she does in half of her scenes, but she's probably distracted by how cool it is she can now rest her chin on her boobs. I wish I could do that. How sweet would that be?

In the future, Claire's head is really, really, really huge.

Present Day

Scar-Peter (Future Peter, until I think of a better nickname for him) looks around the depressing Utility Closet of The Present Day. He exits with the gun in hand, grabs a coat and baseball cap, and puts it on. Guess what this means? We're the place where Nathan decides to come out of the Heroes Closet about his love of hair gel and special abilities to the press and assorted media sites like Gawker. Ruh roh.

Oh lawd. This is going to get complicated and metaphysical. Scar-Peter pulls the trigger, pumps several bullets into Nathan's chest, and flees. Present Peter catches Now-Shot Nathan, who now resembles the cautionary failwhale photos of gang members that my middle school and high school posted in classrooms and hallways to deter us from wearing Dodger Blue and Satanic Red (seriously, colors were banned in my district).

Scar-Peter ducks back into the utility closet and dumps the smoking gun next to this hilarious box that was no doubt made by a really bored props person fond of punning:

Present Peter takes off after Scar-Peter, while Parkman (who's *still* always out of breath) and generic cops follow slowly behind. Gosh. Why isn't anyone else running? Because they're a bunch of American fatasses. Why don't authorities hire Olympic-medalist sprinters to join their forces and train them on how to use a taser or how to swing a mace? Seriously. Present Peter and Scar-Peter pick a peck of pickled peppers in the bathroom, and Scar-Peter sends Present Peter packing.

By the time Parkman huffs and puffs into the bathroom, you know Scar-Peter's in charge. He's holding the hat and jacket he was wearing two seconds ago, as if the shooter had time to strip. However, the scar's been concealed with some magic, so Parkman doesn't have any idea what's going on...yet.

Scar-Peter (disguised as Present Day Peter) makes frowny faces and pretends to be frustrated over not getting a good look at the gunman. Tra la, tra la.

I coulda sworn he was wearing Groucho glasses with a big rubber nose. What gives?

Present Day: Costa Verde, California

Present Day Claire-Bear is freaking out watching the shooting unfold on TV. Wasn't the girl supposed to get to Odessa? I think I repressed half of last season's storylines and events, like Niki/Jessica + GoodBurger scenes from New Orleans + Hiro's extended Japanese tourist vacation in feudal Japan. Like a good teenager, she immediately reaches for her phone and calls Peter. Scar-Peter was smart enough to grab Present Peter's phone in the .25 seconds he had to tap his foot in the bathroom stall, solicit gay-clone sex, and send him to Heroes limboland. However, Scar-Peter was not smart enough to just stop time, Hiro-style, and take care of business, and avoid running and sweating altogether.

Claire flops on the floor and dejectedly watches the news. Cry me a river, Goldilocks. I'm just thrilled that Mr. Muggles is back for more action and adventure.

Thank God that nasty contract dispute is over.

Someday, it is my hope that they introduce a magical cat on this show. He will be named Mr. Scrabbles and beat all the Heroes at board games. Anyway, Claire gets the bright idea to pack her stuff (where *are* Mama Bennet and Lyle anyway?) and jams clothes into a duffle bag. Unfortunately, she's not fast enough. She opens her bedroom door and pees herself as Sylar's just waiting there, salivating.

Present Day: New York, Nathan-ambulance

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Posted in Heroes by T.Vo at 12:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: juddfan on Oct 1, 2008 10:47 AM.