Previously: Peter sent Parkman to the African jungle, or as we called it in my house, fat camp....

Picture of me when I was fifteen waking up at Camp Stoney for the first time.

...Mama Petrelli won a burping contest...

Dang! How many wings did you eat before this shoot?

.... and Papa Petrelli rendered Peter powerless. Picked a pickled pepper. Oh, Papa, there is one thing you can never take from a man, and that's the power of severely bad acting.

Fame!

Shots of the eclipse. Hiro was standing on a hill acting all cuddly when it happened, Nikki/Jessica/Tracy was speedwalking to "I'm Every Woman", and Peter was practicing for his non effective acting class.

I'm gonna learn how to fly,
HIGH!

Suresh's opening today is very very deep:

"When the moon passes between the Sun and the Earth, a strange fascination takes root in the heart.
And suddenly, anything is possible.
Its power is undeniable,
Its beauty mesmerizing,
It's lure biblical,
Its meaning unknowable.
And as quickly as it comes, it disappears, leaving us to dwell on our own significance in the face of God."

Jesus. That's some heavy artistic prose for a freakin eclipse. Suresh describing a boogar:

There comes a moment in time when you realize your senses have dulled.
A tiny piece of matter,
Part you,
Part air,
Part the world you live in,
Starts to grow. It nourishes itself and grows stronger
As you feel it harder to take in breath.
You can ignore it, but by will or force it will come to the surface.
When it does,
Your senses return and you breathe life into your lungs...
But little do you know, another formation that you can't explain is already beginning...

Just pick it, roll it, blow some air on it and shove it under your seat like the rest of us, drama queen. That's enough of that. We begin tonight where we left off last week, with Papa P sucking the powers out of a screaming Hiro after killing Enlightened Black Dude in the African Jungle. When Ando tries to stop him, Papa flings him through the air with a flick of the wrist. I have to hand it to Ando, even midair he manages to keep that same stupid look on his face.

Well done, sir. Well done.

Papa notices the eclipse painting on a rock and leaves a dumbfounded Hiro to go check it out.

America's newest stamp.

Ando rushes to his friend, who doesn't seem to know where he is or what's going on. Papa P turns back to them and does the horror movie (or old tired guy) slow walk towards them. Ando tries to get Hiro to teleport them outta there, but Hiro doesn't know what he's talking about. He just wants waffles. Who doesn't? "Blink! Blink! Bliiiink!" Finally, Ando grabs one of Hiro's eyelids and pinches an eye closed. Duh. Like that's gonna work. Hiro has to intend to use his powers. You know, dumbass, like make an effort. Wait. Never mind. It worked.

Did you hear that? It was one of the last shreds of credibility being sucked out of this show. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, TIM KRING? And this is the guy who's blaming his massive FAIL in the ratings on people who are only watching on their computers. Riiight. Or maybe because once you were done ripping off X-Men and The 4400 you had no one else to steal from. Asswipe. How bout Big Business? Or Mr. Mom? There's plenty of shit out there to steal from! Just don't suck!

Ok I'm done. I actually usually love this show but there's only so much one person can take. ANYWAYS, Ando squeezes Hiro's eye shut and that teleports them to a bowling alley in Japan. Or China. Or downtown Milwaukee. How should I know? The Asians are everywhere, I tell you. Kidding, Asians! I love you! And your won tons! And the way you fold my laundry! And your tiny feet!

Ouch. I just cut myself.

Hiro walks around sniffing girls' waffles like a big perv. He asks Ando how he got to be so old. I'm glad he didn't ask me that, cuz I totally would have started crying. And then I would have kicked him. Hard. Hiro looks in a randomly placed bowling alley mirror and doesn't understand how he got so old either. I'm assuming it's not smoking a pack a day, living in a city with filthy air, or depression issues. Sorry I'm projecting. That's my power. Point is, Hiro thinks he's 10.

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Posted in Heroes by Flipit at 2:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: flipit on Dec 2, 2008 04:40 AM.