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Recap: Heroes: Your New Year's Resolution: Find Out If You Are on THE LIST - TVgasm

by J-Unit

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There was a time when the folks in the TVgasm skunkworks were envisioning a steel cage match featuring talking head types squaring off in the TVgasm circle, arguing whether Heroes or Lost, is the better TV show, but what's the point? Lost killed Ana Lucia last year for ratings and is bringing her back this year, which would explain why Michelle Rodriguez and Patrick Duffy have been seen together so often lately. Talk about passé. Heroes is so awesome that they are throwin' out the catch phrase that got all us so hooked in 2006, "Save the Cheerleader. Save the World." and will have us licking our gums in anticipation of the next slogan that will feed our addiction... "Are you on the list?"

I have looked at the ratings, and although it's obvious that Heroes is a very successful show, it is obvious that there are still some people out there who have not caught on. That's why I am here with this fall recap, which will neatly summarize the season for you in the typical TVgasm style, replete with my special touches of dry, yet breast-intensive humor. For those of you with more time on your hands, make sure to check out my full lineup of recaps this season, and if your boss has you stuck at work even when the only person you'll see is the UPS guy delivering packages that were supposed to come last week, then you'll love watching every episode online. Brilliant, no? Watch the greatest show on TV AND stick it to the man. Power to the people is what I say, even if the people with power are all stuck on the couch.

What is Heroes you say? What isn't Heroes says I! Heroes is so awesome, that have summarized it all in haiku:

Our Heroes rock. They
saved hot cheergirl. Now must find
who is on the list.

With that in mind, I thought I would give a little bit of a character by character breakdown of the series, to help you along as you begin to watch, or give you something to debate as we slowly count the days until Heroes returns, January 22nd. The basic premise of the show is that there are people among us that have been blessed with special abilities. While this occupies the realm of fantasy for some people, there is a geneticist in the Heroes universe, one Chandra Suresh, who believes that these powers are a natural part of human evolution, and he wants to find out who they are.

Claire Bennet - Claire is the girl that we have been hearing so much about. She's a young girl from Odessa, TX who is basically invincible. I like Claire, but her problem is that she is a bit of a whiner. I can understand why she wants to go on with a nice, anonymous life where her only worry is keeping beating away the would-be suitors with a stick (or pom pom, I guess), but did this girl not watch any cartoons when she was a kid? Even if your only power is yelling "Showtime, Synergy!" and jamming on the keytar, we are told that our extra powers are supposed to be used for doing good, no?

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Don't worry, they grow back.

That being said, Claire does have a lot on her mind. She doesn't know it, but there is somebody out to kill her, and we all know that puberty is difficult enough even without a serial killer after you. Claire is the center of attention and most of the plots of the show converge around her.


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Posted by J-Unit on January 3, 2007 4:19 PM