TVgasm Recaps

It was the musical version of Michael Jordan's "glorious" return to basketball with the Washington Wizards.

Last night, NBC introduced Los Angeles as "the center of the music universe" as it unveiled its sorrowful HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME. Initial impulse is to make a snarky comment about that quote, but with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Ho-Han both artists of their own albums, I can't help but shrug and think, "Eh, this could explain a few things."

With the exception of Spring Break Shark Attack, I haven't done a traditional TVGasm recap or review in several months, focusing more on the TVGossipGasm, and general commentary. But this show, in all its craptastic splendor, has motivated me to share my fair and balanced review.

UPDATED - J-Unit adds some pictures.

There is very little redeeming about Hit Me Baby One More Time. To enjoy watching it, you either have to love 80s music or revel in the complete humiliation of people in front of a live audience. I don't really care if any of the people performing on the show do well or not. I really just want to see how fat everybody got, and how much they've let themselves and their voices go. Last week, I had Loverboy and Flock of Seagulls. Why the people from those bands haven't tried to asphyxiate themselves is beyond me. But the point is simple. A band that plays their hit well and does a good cover does nothing for me. Forget talent, I want a disaster.

The novelty of Hit Me Baby One More Time hasn't exactly been lost for me, but let's just say that I am glad there are only a couple of more episodes left. Originally, the show was supposed to end with the third episode, but with ratings success that NBC hasn't seen since Joey, they decided to air a few more episodes. And honestly, with a couple of more weeks before Big Brother gets started, why not try and fill in that space. I am not sure who they are going to bring out for the final two episodes though, because they are already beginning to scrape the bottom of the barrel of marginal 80s talent willing and able to make fools of themselves on camera. But with Wang Chung, Sophie B. Hawkins, and Irene Cara going this week, I knew I couldn't miss it.

Well, Hit Me Baby One More Time is no longer worth putting too much effort into recapping. The names are too obscure and the performances are too boring. But some people may like to know what happened, so we'll recap it, photo essay style.

So, the first season of Hit Me Baby One More Time is now in the history books. NBC had a surprise hit on their hands and tried to milk two more episodes out of the piles of has-been musicians that line the streets of Los Angeles. Unfortunately, these last two weeks were not very stellar. I had originally stated that I wanted to watch this show so I could revel in the depths of disgrace that these former stars are now accustomed to, but even my sadism has its limits. This week, the artists barely elicited a response from the audience, but we did have enough material to muster up a recap.