Anywho, this episode was back to form, if maybe a little too Hero-ish in the beginning. Sure, House was selfish and overbearing, but Wilson actually toned down his prison bitch persona and Cuddy got laid. Plus we saw the unexpected exit of one of this season's most-loved characters. (And I'm not not talking about DMo Popo.) Interested? The details await after the jump...
Tonight's episode starts off with a mom and daughter driving through a snowstorm. Mom's taking her to the hospital to get checked out. Why? Hannah says she just tripped on the ice. Because that's what mom's do. Now shut your piehole, girly-girl. You're only 16, so you'll do whatever your mother tells you. Unless she tells you to show her your tits. I don't care how many beads she promises you, that's just creepy.
Hannah says she doesn't need Mom to fix every boo-boo. Just bail her out of jail and drive her to the methadone clinic every few weeks or so. No dice. You're going to the hospital and that's final. To make matters worse, Mom says she's going to have a talk with Hannah's friends. Needless to say, that goes over about as well as EdHill's attempts to pimp his new site in the forums.
Suddenly, their car is blindsided by another vehicle. And who's driving that one? Sylar. How do we know this? Because this is what happened to Claire Hannah:
She calls 911 and tells the operator her mom's hurt, but she's fine. Hmm, wonder why she neglected to tell the operator that she has a giant hunk of metal sticking out of her leg? Unless it's just a piercing that we haven't seen yet. Kids today. I bet she has an "Exit Only" tattoo on her pooper too. Since Hannah appears to have super-powers, I hope that doesn't mean I'm going to have to sit through one of those awful Hero narrator intros that J-Unit's always bitching about. Although it might be worth to see Hannah get the top of her head cut off. Or a nip-slip.
At the hospital, House is in the ER looking for Foreman. Suddenly, Foreman's girlfriend starts badgering House about what time he's going to let Foreman go tonight. It's Valentine's Day. And she has a hankering for a trip to the Candy Store, nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more. He finally finds Foreman, who's examining Hannah's leg. What's Foreman doing in the ER? There's a snowstorm, and they're short-staffed. Everyone's supposed to be there, including House. Note to writers: that would be a good episode.
As Foreman cleans her wound, Hannah acts like the alcohol hurts. But House sees her bluff, and raises her a diagnosis: she has CIPA, and they have to x-ray her to check for internal injuries. And what is CIPA? I'm glad you asked. Congenital Insensitivity to Pain. Not to be confused with my condition, of course: Congenital Inability to Pass up Alcohol. House runs through a litany of reasons why he knows she has CIPA, the last of which is because she's a Jew. So, because they're responsible for all the wars in the world makes them more susceptible to the disease? Sounds fair. Besides, as he tells Foreman, her people killed our lord. Is she really trustworthy? I'm surprised he didn't tell Sugar Tits he wasn't budging on the price.
House runs up to tell Cuddy he needs to bail on the ER. He has a case. Yeah, like he was actually working in the ER. Cuddy says that CIPA is a diagnosis, which comes at the end of a case, not the beginning. House says the girl has no idea what's going on with her body; there has to be something wrong. No idea what's going on with her body? He makes it sound like he's going to have "the talk" with her. Can you imagine a worse person to tell you about the joys of sex than House? We can only hope he'll let her off easy with a brief reading from one of his early works: "Are You There House? It's Me, House."
« Recap: American Idol: Meet The Semifinalists! (We Guarantee You've Never Seen Them Before) | Main | Recap: Friday Night Lights: Jailhouse Rock »
Comments (12)
copygodd your snarky and brilliant recaps will be sorely missed :(
As I stand on my work desk in my dark and miserable cubicle, I salute you,
"Oh Captain my Captain!"
1 of 12 | Posted by Jezebel
|
Posted on February 16, 2007 9:46 AM
For the record, I noticed the lack of a House recap last week. I checked and checked, but then I remembered your business/drinking trip and all was well with the world again.
Great recap - way to go out in style.
2 of 12 | Posted by Barfly
|
Posted on February 16, 2007 10:12 AM
Great recap as always copygodd. I love any story that invloves a 20 foot tapeworm. I'm funny that way.
3 of 12 | Posted by EdHill
|
Posted on February 16, 2007 10:23 AM
Sad to hear you'll be leaving us copygodd! Good luck in your future endeavors!
I too, noticed the lack of recap last week..
I wish House and Cuddy would just get it on and get it over with!
That tapeworm was so gross, I was thoroughly disgusted! The thought of having something so huge living in your intestines....GROSS.
Thanks for all the great recaps!
4 of 12 | Posted by Jojobear
|
Posted on February 16, 2007 10:58 AM
For the record, it was my fault that there was no House recap. I was supposed to do it, but I full-on forgot. Oops.
Anyway, Copygodd, you were awesome. If 8th & Ocean ever comes back, it won't be hte same without you.
5 of 12 | Posted by B-Side
|
Posted on February 16, 2007 12:03 PM
Thank you Copygodd, for all the smart, funny recaps. You will be missed. See you at your "brainstem".
6 of 12 | Posted by may1
|
Posted on February 16, 2007 12:19 PM
got ben wa balls on the brain? jesus.
7 of 12 | Posted by nurseratched
|
Posted on February 16, 2007 12:42 PM
Mona Schreiber was wrong. You are simply the best!
We may not have the gasm - but we will always have the stem...
love ya cg~
hb
8 of 12 | Posted by HoneyBunny
|
Posted on February 16, 2007 1:35 PM
I didn't watch House until I started reading your recaps, cg! I also have loved reading your recaps of The Bachelor and Rock Star. I will miss you here but keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be seeing more of your work in the future!
9 of 12 | Posted by Bauer's Sweetheart
|
Posted on February 16, 2007 6:07 PM
Great job as usual, cg. I will miss your recaps terribly!!!
10 of 12 | Posted by plexitoes
|
Posted on February 17, 2007 9:08 AM
Nicely done, copygodd. I actually hadn't noticed the missing recap, but only because I completely forgot to watch the episode. I'd feel guilty, but I take B12 supplements.
The line about Aussies and Pearl Harbor had me laughing out loud.
11 of 12 | Posted by brilliantmistake
|
Posted on February 17, 2007 5:04 PM
Noooooo!
who else can embrace all that is Dave Navarro???
cg, you simply ROCK.
shit...not too many original recappers left...
:(
12 of 12 | Posted by Helenann
|
Posted on February 18, 2007 12:57 PM