The episode opens with House limping into the hospital. WTF? Where's the gory and/or disturbing opening scene? No blood, no vomit, no obese flatulence? This can't be good. You know what else can't be good? Armed and Famous. Actually, Wilson and DMo Pop are waiting in House's office. Like I said, not good. Wait, DMo Popo just wished House a Merry Christmas. Maybe he wants to bury the hatchet? You know, in the spirit of the season. Or at the very least in House's forehead. So what's Wilson and Trigger doing here? Besides spreading good cheer? Waiting to tell House about this great deal they have for him: if he agrees to plead guilty, he gets an entire set of Tupperware.
Actually, DMo Popo is offering House two months in a rehab facility if he pleads guilty. Since Wilson admitted that he didn't write the prescriptions, House will go to jail and lose his license if he doesn't take the deal. House's response? Get out of my office. But leave the Bundt cake carrier. That looks useful. Especially with the holidays so close.
Wilson and House bicker like little bitches for another minute or two until DMo Popo's had enough. He tells House he needs to deal with his current situation: if he wants to stand on principle, he ends up in a cell. And he'll never practice medicine again. So House has two choices: his principles or his life. Just then, the phone rings. It's the banker, and he offers House an even better deal: Free Hercules Hooks for life! DMo Popo tells House the D.A. put a clock on the deal: he has three days to decide.
After DMo Popo makes his exit, Wilson chases House down the hallway and tells him he'll still get pain meds in rehab. Just not his delicious Vicodin. House points to the baby Jesus in the hospital's nativity scene, then tells Wilson to go tell the Romans. Get it? Because Wilson is House's Judas. Great, more Biblical humor. I hope the writers have House tackle a plague of locusts sometime this season.
Welcome to the Freak House.
House limps off to fill Cuddy in on Wilson's latest Chenanigans. And wouldn't you know it, she's actually treating a patient. What's up with that? Or should I say what's down with that, as the patient is a dwarf. So's her mom. Let's see how many dwarf insults can House get in... He needs Cuddy for a tiny moment. For a small favor. Why did Dwarf-Girl's lung collapse? Did someone mistake her for a piñata? Dwarf-Mom is clearly irritated, but at least she's not getting the usual elf jokes. House says she has a bit of a short fuse. He also says Cuddy has no idea what's wrong with Dwarf-Girl. But he'll figure it out in exchange for his precious pills. And whatever's behind door number three.
Ouch.
In his office, he starts going over the case with the Outhouses. Chase is sporting a lovely bruise on the side of his jaw from where House punched him last episode. At least it matches his tie. Before House can get started, Cameron asks what he's going to do. He thinks he'll get their theories, mock them, and then embrace his own. No, about DMo Popo's deal. Nothing. Back to the case. Chase says there are over 200 varieties of dwarves, each with different medical complications. How are they supposed to know all of them? Wait, there are 200 varieties of dwarves? Does Randy Newman know about this?
House and Cameron are explaining the test they want to run to Dwarf-Girl (Abigail) and her mom. House continues to make fun of them, even going so far as to ask why Dad, who was normal sized, ended up with a dwarf. Did he have a fetish, or did he fall in love with her long-legged soul? No, he just grew up in a circus. She reminded him of home. A home full of freaks. House asks about the logistics of their relationship. Did she stand on a table? Nope, he'd lay flat and spin her. House and Dwarf-Mom actually seem to have a bit of chemistry. Maybe House will get a little action later. (Get it? Little? I could totally write for this show.)
« Recap: The Real World: She Blinded Tyrie With Science! | Main | Recap: Twentyfourseven: Jailhouse Rock »
Comments (10)
I got as far as Deputy Dawg and then got lost in Google search for a picture of Ty Coon and Vincent Van Gopher...
hb
1 of 10 | Posted by HoneyBunny
|
Posted on December 14, 2006 2:21 PM
Oh copygodd, so many chuckles. I think you're on to something with the idea that House will be the only one who can save Deputy Dawg theory. But House has to stop with the drugs or he'll die and there won't be a show and then where will I get my copygodd recap fix?!? Of course, if House were dead then maybe they could hire a medium to ask his opinion on patients. Hey, there's an idea for a new show! Eh, maybe not.
2 of 10 | Posted by zevonia
|
Posted on December 14, 2006 5:20 PM
Love the recap. Hate Cameron's bangs, and her pissy attitude. She conveniently forgets that House stole from Wilson and put his medical license, livelihood, career on the line. Okay, I know it's just a show. But what would Dr. Bowlcut have Wilson do that would provide a better solution?
3 of 10 | Posted by Miss Information
|
Posted on December 14, 2006 6:33 PM
Funny you mentioned the Little People Convention. That's where we first saw Dwarf Mom, on an episode of "CSI." For a tiny person, she's actually pretty hot.....much hotter than Cameron and her damn bangs!!!
4 of 10 | Posted by cruella_deville
|
Posted on December 15, 2006 8:05 AM
Dwarf Mom also semi-regular on Boston Legal as Denny Crane's client/colleague/squeeze/daughter.
5 of 10 | Posted by watcher
|
Posted on December 15, 2006 8:11 AM
I like to reference to EdHill... Who doesn't love cooter
6 of 10 | Posted by PaulieWalnutz
|
Posted on December 15, 2006 9:33 AM
I loved when House asked the dwarf mom if she wanted to "go for a spin"! LOL, classic!
7 of 10 | Posted by Jojobear
|
Posted on December 15, 2006 9:56 AM
I just knew you would use a screen cap of House with the pile 'o puke in the picture!
8 of 10 | Posted by msCCRN
|
Posted on December 17, 2006 4:07 PM
As much as I love House, this show is really testing my patience with the David Morse story line. I like how the writers are willing to address House's escalating drug problem. It would be easy to ignore it and stick with the tried-and-true formula of House solving the exotic disease of the week after swallowing a bunch of pills. But I wish the writers had gone about doing so without dragging in this vengeful cop, which is starting to border on parody. It would have been more effective and interesting if Cuddy, Wilson, and the Outhouses attempted an intervention. It also would have been funnier since they are all afraid of House.
9 of 10 | Posted by greeneyes
|
Posted on December 17, 2006 11:21 PM
I'm not sure about the whole House vs. Tritter storyline, but I am sure that Hugh Laurie is The Shit. Daaaamn, that man can act. He's so fun to watch.
10 of 10 | Posted by HicksPub
|
Posted on December 18, 2006 11:55 AM