The episode opens with House limping into the hospital. WTF? Where's the gory and/or disturbing opening scene? No blood, no vomit, no obese flatulence? This can't be good. You know what else can't be good? Armed and Famous. Actually, Wilson and DMo Pop are waiting in House's office. Like I said, not good. Wait, DMo Popo just wished House a Merry Christmas. Maybe he wants to bury the hatchet? You know, in the spirit of the season. Or at the very least in House's forehead. So what's Wilson and Trigger doing here? Besides spreading good cheer? Waiting to tell House about this great deal they have for him: if he agrees to plead guilty, he gets an entire set of Tupperware.

Actually, DMo Popo is offering House two months in a rehab facility if he pleads guilty. Since Wilson admitted that he didn't write the prescriptions, House will go to jail and lose his license if he doesn't take the deal. House's response? Get out of my office. But leave the Bundt cake carrier. That looks useful. Especially with the holidays so close.

Wilson and House bicker like little bitches for another minute or two until DMo Popo's had enough. He tells House he needs to deal with his current situation: if he wants to stand on principle, he ends up in a cell. And he'll never practice medicine again. So House has two choices: his principles or his life. Just then, the phone rings. It's the banker, and he offers House an even better deal: Free Hercules Hooks for life! DMo Popo tells House the D.A. put a clock on the deal: he has three days to decide.

After DMo Popo makes his exit, Wilson chases House down the hallway and tells him he'll still get pain meds in rehab. Just not his delicious Vicodin. House points to the baby Jesus in the hospital's nativity scene, then tells Wilson to go tell the Romans. Get it? Because Wilson is House's Judas. Great, more Biblical humor. I hope the writers have House tackle a plague of locusts sometime this season.

House limps off to fill Cuddy in on Wilson's latest Chenanigans. And wouldn't you know it, she's actually treating a patient. What's up with that? Or should I say what's down with that, as the patient is a dwarf. So's her mom. Let's see how many dwarf insults can House get in... He needs Cuddy for a tiny moment. For a small favor. Why did Dwarf-Girl's lung collapse? Did someone mistake her for a piñata? Dwarf-Mom is clearly irritated, but at least she's not getting the usual elf jokes. House says she has a bit of a short fuse. He also says Cuddy has no idea what's wrong with Dwarf-Girl. But he'll figure it out in exchange for his precious pills. And whatever's behind door number three.

In his office, he starts going over the case with the Outhouses. Chase is sporting a lovely bruise on the side of his jaw from where House punched him last episode. At least it matches his tie. Before House can get started, Cameron asks what he's going to do. He thinks he'll get their theories, mock them, and then embrace his own. No, about DMo Popo's deal. Nothing. Back to the case. Chase says there are over 200 varieties of dwarves, each with different medical complications. How are they supposed to know all of them? Wait, there are 200 varieties of dwarves? Does Randy Newman know about this?

| Next Page...  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  ( Comments ) | Discuss In Our Forums Posted by copygodd on December 14, 2006 1:18 AM