I had a pretty rough Tuesday, so I was really looking forward to House to bring me out of my funk. I was ready for some biting insults from House, a medical mystery, possibly even two, that would take up a lot of plot and make the hour go by extremely fast. And was that ever not what I got. This week's episode was actually pretty disappointing, and not just because there was one sick person. Hell, House didn't even have to go to the clinic this week, and that's usually good for a little comic relief. In hindsight, I'm having trouble remembering that much that I actually enjoyed about this episode. But don't get me wrong, this episode was still better than 75% of the other shit on TV, and better than about 95% of the shit on Tuesday nights. So read along to find out how you too can kill people and never face any consequences ever. Step 1: Become a doctor...
We start off watching a scam artist on the street, and he's got a 3-card monte setup. He tells people to find the queen. I found an effeminately-dressed man standing behind the scammer. Oh, not that queen. Ok, that didn't happen. He did manage to rope a woman into stepping up and playing. First time, she finds the queen. Of course she does. Second time she finds the queen, and I begin thinking that she's in on the scam. She goes to pick up her money, and the scammer grabs her hand, asking her if she wants to double again. At this point I'm thinking either the woman, the scammer, or a random white guy who looks like he could be scammed out of some big money are going to be the sick person. I like the House is now starting to mix things up a little bit with the misdirection in who is going to be the sick person (if you don't watch the commercials). Anyways, in the final game, the scam artist asks the woman which card she thinks is the queen, and she can't decide. He's getting impatient, and she still can't decide. Eventually she passes out, the scammer takes his money and runs, and the crowd scatters. And, let me just add that it is about time that the serious condition of Indecision is finally being talked about. Those of us who suffer from it are very grateful. Not much of a medical mystery though.
"This game looks SO easy. I better put down as much money as possible."
Now she's in the hospital describing what she went through to Foreman, and he tells her that she suffered from abulia, also known as the inability to make a decision or exercise will. It's a side-effect of something else, but basically she had a miniature stroke. Foreman goes through the usual doctor questions, asking if she's taken any drugs. She says she's not taken any drugs, and she's obviously lying. She's probably high right now. Then he asks about her former jobs, and basically she's had a lot of crap jobs, while collecting unemployment in between. Because of her I have developed a new plan in life also, because unemployment sounds awesome.
House makes a Thomas Aquinas reference but none of the Housers chuckle. Obviously it's over their head, but not mine. I should be a doctor. Foreman tells everyone that this chick is a scam artist, because she works long enough to get fired so she can collect unemployment. Seriously, that sounds awesome. Chase and Foreman then get into an argument whether or not this girl is on drugs, and House sees some ugly woman kiss Wilson. Everyone looks to House, but suddenly he's out of the room.
He appears in Wilson's office. Apparently that ugly woman was ex-Mrs. Wilson #2. House, as usual, harasses Wilson about his love life, and Wilson says that all she wants is for him to take back their dog. House then tells Wilson that he asked Cuddy to a play on Thursday, but she said she was busy. Apparently she's busy with Wilson that night, and they're going to an art exhibit. It's not a date though. It's merely a social engagement arranged beforehand with another person. That's totally not a date.
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