Finally, DMo Popo tells her that the whole point of the criminal justice system is to make things right when everything else has failed. And in his eyes, Cuddy has failed. Not only has she let House run roughshod over the entire hospital, she's also let Cameron keep those ridiculous bangs.
Speaking of running roughshod, House is upstairs berating Alice's parents about their refusal to let him operate. He's a complete stranger and even he cares more about their kid than they do. Mom says that once the pancreatitis has been treated, she's taking Alice home. "And do what, burn sage?" Dad tells House to perform the surgery. Mom says her father had gallstones and they were totally harmless. Her daughter had one bad one and it passed. Mom's a liar. I had gallstones, and they're not totally harmless. In fact, they make babies. Which is why I had mine removed. Wait, that was my vasectomy.
Mom isn't budging, though, and says her daughter shouldn't have unnecessary surgery. "Or a moron for a mom," says House. And it's at this very moment that Dad knows he's falling in love with one Gregory House, M.D.
Here comes da judge...
House decides to bring in some outside help in the form of a judge: if he can't bully the mom into okaying the surgery, maybe the long arm of the law can. Judge can't make up her mind, though, and asks Cuddy what she thinks. When House says Cuddy's medical opinion is worthless, the judge asks her to share her opinion of House. She thinks he's a big poopy face, but he knows what he's talking about. So the judge okays the surgery.
Too bad, because while the surgery goes well, the biopsy was negative, which means Mom was right and it was an unnecessary procedure after all. While she's kvetching about life in general, Alice says her stomach hurts. Foreman checks it and is shocked into shame to discover that he's the 18th pale descendant of some old Queen or other. Actually, Alice has a rash on her tummy.
The next day, House is grilling the notHouses about the rash. Unfortunately, Cameron and Foreman are more concerned with finding out why their bank accounts have been frozen. Two words: DMo Popo. Chase says his accounts are still available, though, so he's going to withdraw as much money as he can as fast as he can. I'm sure he'll share it with Foreman and Cameron. House keeps trying to talk about the case, but still nobody is paying attention and they demand he do something about their money. House says his plan is to do nothing. His reasoning? Bullies bully. If you don't react, they lose interest. "Doing nothing is not a plan," counters Foreman, "it's a lack of a plan." Yeah, unless your plan is to do nothing, dumbass. Ha!
Anyway, it turns out Cameron was listening after all, and tells House she thinks it's allergies, so House orders a round of allergy tests. When those come back negative - as he suspects they will - he tells them to start her on broad-spectrum antibiotics. Way to build your team's confidence, House.
House and Wilson are bickering in the employee lounge. Hey, what's Wilson doing here? Even though he closed his practice, he still has clinic hours. Plus, he doesn't have enough money to buy lunch. So he's mooching on someone's peanut butter and jelly. While making his sandwich of deceit, he starts telling House about how Lenny Bruce went to shit because of his obsession with challenging authority. Plus he had a nasty drug habit. Wilson's point? Don't start doing comedy.
Chase comes in and tells House that Alice's scratch test came back positive for everything. House still isn't buying Cameron's allergy theory, though, and insists it's an infection. Somehow or other, bacteria must have gotten into the test scratches. Kind of like how bacteria always gets into the public swimming pool, except this time it didn't involve someone dropping a deuce on Alice's back. Or did it?
House goes to see Alice, and makes her take a bite of his magic peanut butter sandwich. That's an odd name for your thingie, but whatevs. When she doesn't go into shock, he says that proves the allergy tests were wrong, because someone couldn't be allergic to everything but peanuts. So he just risked sending Alice into shock to prove his allergy theory? Or was he using her as a food tester to make sure Wilson hadn't poisoned his sandwich?
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Comments (7)
i'm really annoyed by this cop. doesn't he take time off of being annoying to get laid?
1 of 7 | Posted by nurseratched
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Posted on December 2, 2006 2:26 PM
My Super Sweet 16 is one of those shows that I laugh it even as I cringe in horror.
"Chase went down with just one punch from a skinny cripple. That's sad. Steve Erwin would be so disappointed, if he hadn't have gone down with one punch himself."
you are a sick puppy cg (get it? -- puppy?!)
I really should watch this show...
hb
2 of 7 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on December 2, 2006 4:29 PM
Thanks copygodd, I needed this recap. Not because I watch House (I don't) but because it was so witty. And clever- you even worked in a Shakespeare reference!
So will the parents sue House for removing Alice's perfectly good gallbladder?
Here's my brother's version of what happens at the 51 minute mark:
House- "Wait a minute, I was on drugs, she just has a cold".
Everyone else- "Wow, he's such a great doctor".
3 of 7 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on December 3, 2006 10:22 AM
Is anyone else tired of the writers' efforts to "expand" the show each year?
Every year they come up with a dead-end, tired plot line they can put the B-story on (rich, obnoxious guy taking over, trying to fire House; ex-girlfriend of House; this year's retaliatory cop). None of these stories have anywhere to go (obviously, House wasn't going to be fired; he's obviously not going to spend the next 10 years (or even 10 weeks) in prison or lose his license to practice), so there's no real jeopardy.
They should spend more time trying to change up the "I'm sure this is what's wrong -- oops we damn near killed the patient -- I'm playing Nintendo and come up with the answer out of the blue at the 52 minute mark" arc that the show has every week.
House is a very entertaining character and very well-played, but eventually, the formula's going to be played out.
4 of 7 | Posted by cunningwatcher
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Posted on December 3, 2006 3:09 PM
I really love the fact that everyone loves House, but thinks DMo is an asshole. In this episode, both their initial conversations with Cuddy were shockingly similar, if not the same. I, in fact, love this story arc, merely for the fact that no one seems to ever pick up on the fact that House's nemesis is House, but with a gun. Who wants to bet that Wilson gives some stupid excuse, and DMo's head explodes at the sheer stupidity, and WIlson has sex with the now empty spinal column? That would be a satisfying conclusion of this arc... Imagine if they became each other's rehab sponsors in exchange for dropping the charges, and an apology from House, that would make a great Halloween episode.
5 of 7 | Posted by M
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Posted on December 3, 2006 7:58 PM
I have to say I never thought I would get there, but I didn't even watch this episode. My girlfriend and I were so tired of the whole David Morse arc that we decided to rely on copygodd's great recap. Thanks for keeping us up to date, I hope the season gets better soon.
6 of 7 | Posted by Fitz
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Posted on December 5, 2006 1:37 PM
A My Super Sweet 16 marathon? I don't know if any of you have ever watched that show or not, but after catching just a couple episodes last year, I think I understand why the terrorists hate us
HAHAHAHAH I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU
7 of 7 | Posted by memyI
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Posted on December 5, 2006 1:52 PM